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ELIJAH SCHÄFFER

@ElijahSchaffer • 843,163 subscribers

Everything you read about me online is true | Host @slightlyoffens on @therifttv | “Subpar Comedian” -Trump | Aeries♈ against Lindsay Clancy | SATIRE | links👇

Shorts

Imagine you’re the husband working 12 hour days to afford the privilege for your wife to stay home in an upper middle class home like this She has every modern luxury, doesn’t worry about food, car paid for, hair done, nice clothes & only one child & you find this on TikTok?

Imagine you’re the husband working 12 hour days to afford the privilege for your wife to stay home in an upper middle class home like this She has every modern luxury, doesn’t worry about food, car paid for, hair done, nice clothes & only one child & you find this on TikTok?

2,289,976 görüntüleme

FRISCO: Karmelo Anthony BLM protest is heating up outside the Frisco court house Random supporters are approaching white people like myself and screaming at us Lots of anti-white racial slurs being thrown around. I’ve already been threatened and assaulted along with my crew

FRISCO: Karmelo Anthony BLM protest is heating up outside the Frisco court house Random supporters are approaching white people like myself and screaming at us Lots of anti-white racial slurs being thrown around. I’ve already been threatened and assaulted along with my crew

5,261,966 görüntüleme

Producing children this genetically dissimilar than you isn’t a flex

Producing children this genetically dissimilar than you isn’t a flex

29,764,505 görüntüleme

Dallas, Texas is quickly becoming unlivable with the Indian invasion

Dallas, Texas is quickly becoming unlivable with the Indian invasion

5,237,652 görüntüleme

FRISCO: “F*ck India! F*ck India!” A Texas resident Clayton Walker rips an Indian flag in front of city hall Voicing anger against the Indian immigration invasion in north Dallas

FRISCO: “Fck India! Fck India!” A Texas resident Clayton Walker rips an Indian flag in front of city hall Voicing anger against the Indian immigration invasion in north Dallas

3,717,011 görüntüleme

Los Angeles is like Gotham city right now

Los Angeles is like Gotham city right now

22,755,003 görüntüleme

Why do girls that look like this always have the highest standards?

Why do girls that look like this always have the highest standards?

31,523,052 görüntüleme

All this work to remain modest & not draw attention to their physical beauty in public And they still can’t stay away from social media while trying to get the attention of 40.1 million strangers who viewed this video about their appearance Ironic. Females are fascinating

All this work to remain modest & not draw attention to their physical beauty in public And they still can’t stay away from social media while trying to get the attention of 40.1 million strangers who viewed this video about their appearance Ironic. Females are fascinating

16,052,121 görüntüleme

Never forget what they took form us

Never forget what they took form us

14,663,896 görüntüleme

Holy shit, what a f*cking waste

Holy shit, what a f*cking waste

16,487,468 görüntüleme

Boomers will kick you out of the house at 18 so they can live like this on a Tuesday at 11am

Boomers will kick you out of the house at 18 so they can live like this on a Tuesday at 11am

11,074,375 görüntüleme

Women literally abandon their children to make spreadsheets. Pathetic losers

Women literally abandon their children to make spreadsheets. Pathetic losers

10,237,886 görüntüleme

Usual suspect

Usual suspect

9,511,783 görüntüleme

Probably all divorced

Probably all divorced

10,014,367 görüntüleme

Why do masculine lesbians always adopt the style of a 13 year old upper middle class Hispanic boy with divorced parents?

Why do masculine lesbians always adopt the style of a 13 year old upper middle class Hispanic boy with divorced parents?

6,444,691 görüntüleme

Fighting antisemitism in video games is so 2025

Fighting antisemitism in video games is so 2025

6,025,086 görüntüleme

They ruin everything

Sensitive content

They ruin everything

6,089,288 görüntüleme

WTF: Lindsay Clancy supporters are now analyzing court audio recordings for signs of “divine feminine energy” in wave forms to confirm her innocence I think we can finally all agree now The Salem Witch Trials were totally justified

WTF: Lindsay Clancy supporters are now analyzing court audio recordings for signs of “divine feminine energy” in wave forms to confirm her innocence I think we can finally all agree now The Salem Witch Trials were totally justified

128,189 görüntüleme

Here’s the deal on women’s hair Men prefer the before But they aren’t kicking either out of bed Women compliment the after Because they hate competition & love using fake compliments to gas ugly chicks - and to look good publicly But women look better w/ longer hair

Here’s the deal on women’s hair Men prefer the before But they aren’t kicking either out of bed Women compliment the after Because they hate competition & love using fake compliments to gas ugly chicks - and to look good publicly But women look better w/ longer hair

10,041,950 görüntüleme

Videos

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An Aries ♈️ always protects his cubs 🦁

An Aries ♈️ always protects his cubs 🦁

ELIJAH SCHÄFFER

3,513,351 görüntüleme • 16 gün önce

My wife of 7 years H. Pearl Davis may have cheated on me w/ her black ex-boyfriend in 2025 (Milo’s current husband) Because I didn’t block my ex gf in 2019 But after going through marriage counseling, I now realize it was my fault & it’s up to me to embrace Pearl for who she is

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My wife of 7 years H. Pearl Davis may have cheated on me w/ her black ex-boyfriend in 2025 (Milo’s current husband) Because I didn’t block my ex gf in 2019 But after going through marriage counseling, I now realize it was my fault & it’s up to me to embrace Pearl for who she is

ELIJAH SCHÄFFER

109,106 görüntüleme • 2 gün önce

Unpopular opinion: we should let these people die when they overdose Would fix a lot of cities quickly

Unpopular opinion: we should let these people die when they overdose Would fix a lot of cities quickly

ELIJAH SCHÄFFER

10,842,814 görüntüleme • 4 ay önce

Incredible H. Pearl Davis livestream covering the return of Milo to UK audiences on network TV! Welcome home buddy! You made it! We are all so happy you found the deportation process so revolting you never want to return to our terrible country You aren’t welcome here anyways♥️

Incredible H. Pearl Davis livestream covering the return of Milo to UK audiences on network TV! Welcome home buddy! You made it! We are all so happy you found the deportation process so revolting you never want to return to our terrible country You aren’t welcome here anyways♥️

ELIJAH SCHÄFFER

96,576 görüntüleme • 3 gün önce

How it feels knowing society is designed to make life miserable for men Women aren’t held accountable for abusing the institutions we built But you’re 6”2, blue eyes, blonde, white, & going to to EXPOSE it all w/ H. Pearl Davis Subscribe to our NEW YOUTUBE channel link in bio

How it feels knowing society is designed to make life miserable for men Women aren’t held accountable for abusing the institutions we built But you’re 6”2, blue eyes, blonde, white, & going to to EXPOSE it all w/ H. Pearl Davis Subscribe to our NEW YOUTUBE channel link in bio

ELIJAH SCHÄFFER

23,693 görüntüleme • 1 gün önce

Being poor doesn’t mean you have to feed your kids low quality meals

Being poor doesn’t mean you have to feed your kids low quality meals

ELIJAH SCHÄFFER

36,732,000 görüntüleme • 1 yıl önce

A modern tragedy

A modern tragedy

ELIJAH SCHÄFFER

26,333,487 görüntüleme • 1 yıl önce

FRISCO: “I’m from Africa. I’m blacker than all of you” Black man who came with a “White Lives Matter” sign at the Karmelo Anthony sentencing was told he wasn’t black for supporting Austin Metcalf He quickly put all the crazy blacks in their place so they threatened to kill him

FRISCO: “I’m from Africa. I’m blacker than all of you” Black man who came with a “White Lives Matter” sign at the Karmelo Anthony sentencing was told he wasn’t black for supporting Austin Metcalf He quickly put all the crazy blacks in their place so they threatened to kill him

ELIJAH SCHÄFFER

3,252,284 görüntüleme • 2 ay önce

If being a Stay-at-home-mom is so difficult Why do women consider Stay-at-home-dads lazy? If watching children is the hardest job in the world Why do they call it the “bare minimum” for dads to spend their time off work raising the kids with them?

If being a Stay-at-home-mom is so difficult Why do women consider Stay-at-home-dads lazy? If watching children is the hardest job in the world Why do they call it the “bare minimum” for dads to spend their time off work raising the kids with them?

ELIJAH SCHÄFFER

156,683 görüntüleme • 7 gün önce

I was just SUED for $5,000,000 over my X posts criticizing Israel by FBI director Kash Patel's inner circle. I've never engaged in defamation or illegal activity. Gross LAW FARE This is an ATTACK on free speech & an EMBARRASSMENT to the FBI & Trump Admin Here is my RESPONSE:

I was just SUED for $5,000,000 over my X posts criticizing Israel by FBI director Kash Patel's inner circle. I've never engaged in defamation or illegal activity. Gross LAW FARE This is an ATTACK on free speech & an EMBARRASSMENT to the FBI & Trump Admin Here is my RESPONSE:

ELIJAH SCHÄFFER

11,583,336 görüntüleme • 9 ay önce

Modest clothing yet every guy looks. Is there something attractive to being classy that society has lost?

Modest clothing yet every guy looks. Is there something attractive to being classy that society has lost?

ELIJAH SCHÄFFER

61,813,847 görüntüleme • 3 yıl önce

Bonding over “The Hoes Gonna Hoe” w/ my sweet & smoking hot 🥵 babe of a wifey H. Pearl Davis We may be going to marriage counseling. She may have cheated on me w/ her black ex-boyfriend But she’s making it up by cooking midnight sizzling steak while singing in the background

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This media may contain sensitive content.

Bonding over “The Hoes Gonna Hoe” w/ my sweet & smoking hot 🥵 babe of a wifey H. Pearl Davis We may be going to marriage counseling. She may have cheated on me w/ her black ex-boyfriend But she’s making it up by cooking midnight sizzling steak while singing in the background

ELIJAH SCHÄFFER

66,298 görüntüleme • 3 gün önce

Trying to shop at a grocery store in Texas in 2026 be like

Trying to shop at a grocery store in Texas in 2026 be like

ELIJAH SCHÄFFER

3,008,519 görüntüleme • 3 ay önce

Feminism and its consequences

Feminism and its consequences

ELIJAH SCHÄFFER

44,941,004 görüntüleme • 3 yıl önce

At least they don’t wash their meat with soap like their contemporaries overseas

At least they don’t wash their meat with soap like their contemporaries overseas

ELIJAH SCHÄFFER

23,611,414 görüntüleme • 1 yıl önce

FRISCO: Family members of Karmelo Anthony assaulted me and my crew Threw water bottles at us Threatened us with violence & started trying to put hands on us for simply asking them about their shirts See how we left their tent when asked without stabbing them? It can be done

FRISCO: Family members of Karmelo Anthony assaulted me and my crew Threw water bottles at us Threatened us with violence & started trying to put hands on us for simply asking them about their shirts See how we left their tent when asked without stabbing them? It can be done

ELIJAH SCHÄFFER

2,225,215 görüntüleme • 2 ay önce

BREAKING: JUDGE DECLARES MISTRIAL IN LINDSAY CLANCY CASE The justice system IS BEING ABUSED because WEAK MEN are too afraid to hold women & minorities accountable for their bad behavior WE MEN HAVE TO BECOME EVEN SMARTER THE FASTER SOCIETY DECAYS (book 🔗 in bio/below)

BREAKING: JUDGE DECLARES MISTRIAL IN LINDSAY CLANCY CASE The justice system IS BEING ABUSED because WEAK MEN are too afraid to hold women & minorities accountable for their bad behavior WE MEN HAVE TO BECOME EVEN SMARTER THE FASTER SOCIETY DECAYS (book 🔗 in bio/below)

ELIJAH SCHÄFFER

15,419 görüntüleme • 1 gün önce

*Pakistani / Indian moves to North Dallas *first thing they do is litter all over the neighbor’s yard *welcome to my daily hell

Pakistani / Indian moves to North Dallas first thing they do is litter all over the neighbor’s yard *welcome to my daily hell

ELIJAH SCHÄFFER

1,677,605 görüntüleme • 2 ay önce

I’m 32 years old too and all the therapy in the world wouldn’t keep me alive if I was this much of a deadbeat at this age

I’m 32 years old too and all the therapy in the world wouldn’t keep me alive if I was this much of a deadbeat at this age

ELIJAH SCHÄFFER

11,464,830 görüntüleme • 1 yıl önce

“You really need millions of skilled immigrants for your country to continue being great” *the skilled labor in question 👇🏼

“You really need millions of skilled immigrants for your country to continue being great” *the skilled labor in question 👇🏼

ELIJAH SCHÄFFER

16,704,164 görüntüleme • 1 yıl önce