Gabriel Oguda

@gabrieloguda • 1,080,399 subscribers

'This is home; if it takes 20 years, we will wait.'

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Gabriel Oguda

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We would've asked what Uhuru was doing with our money, but we're humble children of God who are thankful for the little graces we've been accorded since we started walking in the light. In 2027, you already know what will happen to your teeth.

What was Uhuru doing with many people?

Guess who's back!

BREAKING: Ababu Namwamba is seeing bad things at the Carnivore Restaurant right now. They will not believe. They will not believe.

Ni kama Kiburi imebaki na Manchester United only. Tears in my eyes.

Dagoretti South MP John Kiarie went to a funeral to explain why he voted YES to the Finance Bill 2024, and it didn't take long before they took the mic off his hands and told him to go home to his family. They will not believe. They will not believe.

Gen Z's have helped themselves with a horse from one the cops who were harassing them in town. They will not believe. They will not believe.

They will not believe. They will not believe.

To the sons and daughters of Baba Raila Amolo Odinga that we lost - one day the real sons and daughters of Baba will honour you.

When you love your shoes more than Christ loved the church.

They said ODM is dead and buried with Baba. They didn't know we were seeds.

BREAKING NEWS: Azimio protesters captured on camera looting gas cylinders after Rigathi Gachagua called them idlers who only know how to destroy businesses.

Bondo mandazi trader with his spokesperson Salim Lone ushering guests at his kiosk where they had sent him to fry mandazi inside a disused saucepan.

Daktari, William Samoei Ruto, PhD. Whether you refuse to postpone the reopening of schools tomorrow, parents will not risk their children because of your Govt's failure to be responsible for their safety and security. We promise you that next time, we will vote wisely.

Here is the video you've all been looking for.

BREAKING: While others are coming back from their US trip to reward Harambee Stars with 32 teeth and two pipettes of saliva, Baba has topped up the Ksh2.5m with half a million each. Bwana, I think I'm in the wrong profession.

LIVE SCENES from Mathare.

Hon. Justin Muturi, EGH Kwani huyu ni nani, Baba Leslie? Tumewaonea 18. We will be there.

When you start smelling the aroma of rice and beef stew across the tent, but the band can't stop for you to go eat.

Unadhani ni DCI amegonga mlango, kumbe ni neighbour ameweka roots.

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BREAKING: The President of the Luo Council of Elders has issued a decree against anyone who touches Dr Raymond Omollo, CS John Mbadi and CS Opiyo Wandayi. The entire Luo community has since been instructed to go to war against the enemies of those three. It is so declared.

Raila Odinga beat Mwai Kibaki like a Roho Fweny drum in the 2007 elections with only 2% of votes from the Mt Kenya region. You cannot argue with numbers, because in 2027 there will be weeping and gnashing of teeth, but not for us.

Beginning Monday, we're going to comb our villages mopping up the more than 1m potential voters who are yet to be captured in the IEBC roll. In 2027, there will be weeping and gnashing of teeth - but not for us.

BREAKING NEWS: Someone give Gachagua the mic.

After beating around the bush for dog years, your favourite village vagrant has finally opened up on why he's been inciting his community against his former boss. In 2027, we will remember these humiliating words.

You got to give it to Jeremiah Kioni. Schools are closing end of this month and he deserves an A for Consistency in his report form. In 2027, there will be weeping and gnashing of teeth - but not for him.

There are those salivating for Raila Odinga's crown thinking they can inherit the enigma clout in just seven months. Collo wa Klepto alituambia kabla jina yako i-grow jipe miaka ka nane.

Bwana kwani what was Ouru doing with our sprinkler?

We will be there when the ship begins to leak. Kuwakumbusha tu.

Kasmuel McOure checked into the KTN studios and the whole room immediately caught fire. They can switch off his mic all they want, but the gospel of the Lord must reach all nations by 2027.

When we tell you there will never be another Baba Raila Amolo Odinga, this video explains why. They're jumping into the comfort of their air conditioned vehicles at the first smell of teargas leaving the families of victims stranded. Could never be Baba.

The people of Nyanza and Western regions will forever be indebted to the Ntimama family, for agreeing to hand over their farm to allow us pass through it on our way to reconnect with our roots. In 2027, we shall remember the Maa community for standing with Baba.

We need more leaders to speak like this, to our people. A time has come for our young men and women to be mentored with humane honesty and tough love. Tomorrow, the sun will rise and we will try again.

Next up, AFCON 2027 final at the Raila Amolo Odinga Stadium, Nairobi Kenya. You better be there.

We promised to be there when the clouds begin to gather. We will be there no matter what.

Thank you our Abagusii comrades for coming out in large numbers to put your hearts where your mouths are. In 2027, they already know what will happen to their teeth.

Those whose children have been enjoying ultramodern sports facilities are mad at those expressing gratitude towards the commissioning of the new Kamukunji Grounds. They wanted the children of Kamukunji to continue eating teargas and be their slaves, but God is not Kamau.

BREAKING NEWS: Bumula MP Jack Wamboka is seeing bad things in his home turf. When we told you in 2027 there will be weeping and gnashing of teeth, you best believe.

Those who've been enjoying shiny things since childhood are mad at the people of Usenge for expressing their gratitude towards the progress of the construction of Dhogoye Bridge. They wanted us to stay in darkness and make us a subject of their mockery, but God is not Kamau.

We used to pray for videos like this.