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Mike P

@mikepat711 • 19,971 subscribers

Shitposting, PhD. Meme Researcher.

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It’s 2025. If the car can’t do this, I’m not even coming to the dealership. Those are the facts, and they are big.

It’s 2025. If the car can’t do this, I’m not even coming to the dealership. Those are the facts, and they are big.

3,014,526 次观看

Dear Tesla AI, I am on I-95 South near Washington DC. I just disengaged my Tesla because I thought it was confusing the shoulder for a lane. I logged the disengagement as critical. As you can see in the video below, it turns out that once again, I’ve mistakenly assumed my meat brain knows better than your AI model. I wanted to let you know that this disengagement can be removed from the statistics, as it once again turns out that I am the fool. Sorry about that. Thank you for reading.

Dear Tesla AI, I am on I-95 South near Washington DC. I just disengaged my Tesla because I thought it was confusing the shoulder for a lane. I logged the disengagement as critical. As you can see in the video below, it turns out that once again, I’ve mistakenly assumed my meat brain knows better than your AI model. I wanted to let you know that this disengagement can be removed from the statistics, as it once again turns out that I am the fool. Sorry about that. Thank you for reading.

292,461 次观看

FSD realizes the car to its’ left dun goofed up/has nowhere to go, anticipates what it needs to do, and slows to let him in. Zoom into the guy’s license plate and read it. Can’t make this stuff up 😂

FSD realizes the car to its’ left dun goofed up/has nowhere to go, anticipates what it needs to do, and slows to let him in. Zoom into the guy’s license plate and read it. Can’t make this stuff up 😂

164,532 次观看

Alright this is starting to become a ridiculous problem. Second time in 24 hours on V14.3.7. This isn’t a native 14.3.7 problem, it has been happening to me (though rarely) since 14.2. I’m ok with nav thinking roads are closed and re-routing. 95% of the time it does this it is wrong, but that’s beside the point. It’s the fact that it does it at the very last minute when it literally already started a turning maneuver. It is so startling and tries to whip it out of a maneuver like it’s avoiding a crash. And the worst part is that the roads it’s trying to avoid are almost never actually closed. Please fix this Tesla AI

Alright this is starting to become a ridiculous problem. Second time in 24 hours on V14.3.7. This isn’t a native 14.3.7 problem, it has been happening to me (though rarely) since 14.2. I’m ok with nav thinking roads are closed and re-routing. 95% of the time it does this it is wrong, but that’s beside the point. It’s the fact that it does it at the very last minute when it literally already started a turning maneuver. It is so startling and tries to whip it out of a maneuver like it’s avoiding a crash. And the worst part is that the roads it’s trying to avoid are almost never actually closed. Please fix this Tesla AI

38,425 次观看

FSD recognizes the RAV4 needs to merge, but is pinned by the semi, so it tries to slow down to let the RAV4 jump in, but the RAV4 is being a baby about it and not taking the hint. As soon as FSD has the gap it goes for the yeet. 14.2 is way better at handling these sorts of situations where human drivers get stuck in the stalemate if “you go, no you go!” Didn’t used to be the case.

FSD recognizes the RAV4 needs to merge, but is pinned by the semi, so it tries to slow down to let the RAV4 jump in, but the RAV4 is being a baby about it and not taking the hint. As soon as FSD has the gap it goes for the yeet. 14.2 is way better at handling these sorts of situations where human drivers get stuck in the stalemate if “you go, no you go!” Didn’t used to be the case.

244,865 次观看

I love when you can literally feel mad max get irritated by the BS. Semi starts shifting into our lane, messing up the mad max flow. Watch the speedometer from the moment we shift left 😂 Mad Max has one goal - get you where you’re goin.

I love when you can literally feel mad max get irritated by the BS. Semi starts shifting into our lane, messing up the mad max flow. Watch the speedometer from the moment we shift left 😂 Mad Max has one goal - get you where you’re goin.

50,141 次观看

The Tesla charging experience is so clunky and such a pain. Who wants to deal with this?

The Tesla charging experience is so clunky and such a pain. Who wants to deal with this?

296,837 次观看

Here’s a good example of a nav disengagement. It’s disappointing to see these still happening in V14.3. This is a pretty straightforward setup. 3 lanes, clearly marked signage, large queue in the turning lane. Before I took over, FSD seemed completely unaware that it needed to stage the turn in the left lane, and would’ve missed the queue/tried to sneak in had I not taken over. You’d expect by now that it’d be able to gather context from the overhead signs, and sometimes it feels like it does, but I guess it really doesn’t and probably relies on map data.

Here’s a good example of a nav disengagement. It’s disappointing to see these still happening in V14.3. This is a pretty straightforward setup. 3 lanes, clearly marked signage, large queue in the turning lane. Before I took over, FSD seemed completely unaware that it needed to stage the turn in the left lane, and would’ve missed the queue/tried to sneak in had I not taken over. You’d expect by now that it’d be able to gather context from the overhead signs, and sometimes it feels like it does, but I guess it really doesn’t and probably relies on map data.

25,840 次观看

On older versions of FSD, when the car did something that seemed weird, your first instinct was to disengage. On FSD V14.3.4, when the car does something that seems weird, your first instinct is to look around for what it is seeing before you see it yourself.

On older versions of FSD, when the car did something that seemed weird, your first instinct was to disengage. On FSD V14.3.4, when the car does something that seems weird, your first instinct is to look around for what it is seeing before you see it yourself.

45,126 次观看

Tesla FSD: statistically 8x less likely to be involved in an accident vs human drivers. Dan O’Scum: “FSD crosses the white line and proceeds through the intersection 0.5 seconds before the light turned red. The software should be banned.” Human drivers:

Tesla FSD: statistically 8x less likely to be involved in an accident vs human drivers. Dan O’Scum: “FSD crosses the white line and proceeds through the intersection 0.5 seconds before the light turned red. The software should be banned.” Human drivers:

33,609 次观看

FSD does not mindlessly follow lead cars. In this scenario, there are definitely some humans who would’ve just latched on and snuck through behind the lead car. FSD waits for its own visibility and doesn’t assume anything.

FSD does not mindlessly follow lead cars. In this scenario, there are definitely some humans who would’ve just latched on and snuck through behind the lead car. FSD waits for its own visibility and doesn’t assume anything.

88,043 次观看

Gotta say, for how terrible Tesla nav is, FSD is the master of the yeet. In this clip, we’re going straight, but FSD decided to camp in the obvious left turn lane to the far left until the very last second. I’m not in a rush so decided to just let it rip. FSD charismatically glides across 2 lanes to place itself with hardly any distance to do so. Like it was planning it the entire time 😂

Gotta say, for how terrible Tesla nav is, FSD is the master of the yeet. In this clip, we’re going straight, but FSD decided to camp in the obvious left turn lane to the far left until the very last second. I’m not in a rush so decided to just let it rip. FSD charismatically glides across 2 lanes to place itself with hardly any distance to do so. Like it was planning it the entire time 😂

13,038 次观看

FSD V14.3.4 vs incorrect line paint. It did this on older versions too, but man, blows me away how effortlessly it knows when to ignore road features and when to obey them. Just like us

FSD V14.3.4 vs incorrect line paint. It did this on older versions too, but man, blows me away how effortlessly it knows when to ignore road features and when to obey them. Just like us

42,570 次观看

Mad Max doesn’t have time for your bullshit.

Mad Max doesn’t have time for your bullshit.

51,606 次观看

Very alarming glitch on 14.3.3. At the end of the initial back in, FSD slams the brakes unnecessarily, causing the car to drop into rear suspension (you can see it on the screen). After this, instead of going into park, I experienced two additional micro jolts that scared the shit out of me. You can see me hover the brake and almost disengage. The jolts didn’t actually move the car. They were so fast and triggered hard braking that bounced the vehicle, which you can see if you watch closely. Haven’t seen anything like this before. Very alarming.

Very alarming glitch on 14.3.3. At the end of the initial back in, FSD slams the brakes unnecessarily, causing the car to drop into rear suspension (you can see it on the screen). After this, instead of going into park, I experienced two additional micro jolts that scared the shit out of me. You can see me hover the brake and almost disengage. The jolts didn’t actually move the car. They were so fast and triggered hard braking that bounced the vehicle, which you can see if you watch closely. Haven’t seen anything like this before. Very alarming.

35,649 次观看

FSD V14.3.1 approaches a routine stop sign, encounters a police officer directing traffic, understands that the officer’s gesture overrides stop sign, does not stop, proceeds through on officer’s gesture. Flawless. I jolted up and almost hit the brake, but was immediately reminded that Tesla is basically shipping AGI at this point.

FSD V14.3.1 approaches a routine stop sign, encounters a police officer directing traffic, understands that the officer’s gesture overrides stop sign, does not stop, proceeds through on officer’s gesture. Flawless. I jolted up and almost hit the brake, but was immediately reminded that Tesla is basically shipping AGI at this point.

33,388 次观看

I can’t stand Ilhan Omar, really. Sucks so bad. But the people spamming this WW11 post are the same people who bitch about the left constantly doctoring clips/presenting them out of context with the goal of creating false narratives about their opponents. You are doing the same thing. So what’s up? What are we doing here?

I can’t stand Ilhan Omar, really. Sucks so bad. But the people spamming this WW11 post are the same people who bitch about the left constantly doctoring clips/presenting them out of context with the goal of creating false narratives about their opponents. You are doing the same thing. So what’s up? What are we doing here?

29,233 次观看

Cool moment this morning. FSD goes to stage the exit, sees the royally f’d up road surface, path planner jolts back and waits to stage until we’re past the rough road. I could feel the car beginning to shift before cancelling and waiting until we passed this patch of road.

Cool moment this morning. FSD goes to stage the exit, sees the royally f’d up road surface, path planner jolts back and waits to stage until we’re past the rough road. I could feel the car beginning to shift before cancelling and waiting until we passed this patch of road.

25,676 次观看

FSD V14.2.2.3 begins to execute a blind right turn that leads directly toward a one-lane covered bridge. Without any yield signs or prior notice until half way through the turn, FSD recognizes the structure as a one-lane structure and yields with plenty of distance, making sure the bridge is clear of oncoming traffic before proceeding. This behavior did not exist on any version prior to 14. Prior versions would have proceeded unless there was some visible obstruction that entered the vehicle’s path mid maneuver. Here, FSD is preemptively yielding because it understands the infrastructure. It is not reacting to any obstruction. Sentient. Can’t imagine how wild this is going to be in 6-12 months from now. 5 years from now? Real-world AI comin’ in hot.

FSD V14.2.2.3 begins to execute a blind right turn that leads directly toward a one-lane covered bridge. Without any yield signs or prior notice until half way through the turn, FSD recognizes the structure as a one-lane structure and yields with plenty of distance, making sure the bridge is clear of oncoming traffic before proceeding. This behavior did not exist on any version prior to 14. Prior versions would have proceeded unless there was some visible obstruction that entered the vehicle’s path mid maneuver. Here, FSD is preemptively yielding because it understands the infrastructure. It is not reacting to any obstruction. Sentient. Can’t imagine how wild this is going to be in 6-12 months from now. 5 years from now? Real-world AI comin’ in hot.

42,878 次观看

FSD V14.3.1 camps the left lane and gets passed on the right by multiple vehicles. So weird to me that despite how intelligent the car is during so many scenarios, it has so much trouble with this very simple thing. I still feel like 14.1 was the best highway iteration ever. 14.3.1 seems overall worse than 14.2.2.5 so far.

FSD V14.3.1 camps the left lane and gets passed on the right by multiple vehicles. So weird to me that despite how intelligent the car is during so many scenarios, it has so much trouble with this very simple thing. I still feel like 14.1 was the best highway iteration ever. 14.3.1 seems overall worse than 14.2.2.5 so far.

26,065 次观看

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TSLA is the worst investment I’ve ever made in my entire life, but here’s their technology flawlessly merging onto a recently augmented highway during sunrise with tons of chaotic line paint/markings.

TSLA is the worst investment I’ve ever made in my entire life, but here’s their technology flawlessly merging onto a recently augmented highway during sunrise with tons of chaotic line paint/markings.

927,504 次观看 • 4 个月前

Absolute SAVAGERY by mad max on V14.3.3 😂 We’re driving along the highway, and encounter traffic. We are supposed to be on the roadway I’m pointing at with an arrow a few seconds into the video. FSD knows from mapping that the Rt 1 exit allows an opportunity to re-connect with I-76 before it branches off into an exit lane, and to avoid a section of traffic, FSD decides to yeet the exit, blow by about 1/2 mile of the backup before muscling its way back onto 76. I had to mute the video because I was laughing like a psycho the entire time. So good. Mad max will get you where you’re goin man

Absolute SAVAGERY by mad max on V14.3.3 😂 We’re driving along the highway, and encounter traffic. We are supposed to be on the roadway I’m pointing at with an arrow a few seconds into the video. FSD knows from mapping that the Rt 1 exit allows an opportunity to re-connect with I-76 before it branches off into an exit lane, and to avoid a section of traffic, FSD decides to yeet the exit, blow by about 1/2 mile of the backup before muscling its way back onto 76. I had to mute the video because I was laughing like a psycho the entire time. So good. Mad max will get you where you’re goin man

546,455 次观看 • 2 个月前

Tesla Self-Driving sucks and doesn't work. This compressed video shows 90 minutes of Tesla's V14.2.2.5 moving through the heart of Philadelphia, and back to the suburbs for some errands. As you watch this clip, you'll start to realize that Tesla's goal of autonomy at-scale is very far from here, and probably won't ever actually happen. The entire charade is nonsense. Tesla cars have level 2 ADAS just like SuperCruise and BlueCruise. Yes, your Chevy Silverado does do this. More music by the homie Stainless Steele

Tesla Self-Driving sucks and doesn't work. This compressed video shows 90 minutes of Tesla's V14.2.2.5 moving through the heart of Philadelphia, and back to the suburbs for some errands. As you watch this clip, you'll start to realize that Tesla's goal of autonomy at-scale is very far from here, and probably won't ever actually happen. The entire charade is nonsense. Tesla cars have level 2 ADAS just like SuperCruise and BlueCruise. Yes, your Chevy Silverado does do this. More music by the homie Stainless Steele

596,750 次观看 • 5 个月前

This is what it’s like to own a Tesla in 2025.

This is what it’s like to own a Tesla in 2025.

924,088 次观看 • 8 个月前

This is what all you dumbfucks are selling off today

This is what all you dumbfucks are selling off today

140,452 次观看 • 1 个月前

Rapidfire epic moments on FSD V14.3.5 1) FSD turns right into a small alley that only fits one car at a time, sees oncoming car, reverses out of alley to make space, realizes oncoming car is actually parking, re-enters alley. 2) Insane speed to vehicle cues. As FSD approaches the intersection at the end of the small alley, it yields for traffic, but at the SECOND the car to our left slows, it realizes they’re letting us go and executes with zero hesitation. You can see the nose of the vehicle on the far left side of the shot here to gauge reaction speed. 3) FSD approaches railroad traffic, clears the vehicle intersection, but stops shy of first RR track instead of queueing behind lead car, ignoring the human who decided to foolishly stop in front of the track. This is why I’m bullish. This tech is just a constant mindblower when you’re out here using it.

Rapidfire epic moments on FSD V14.3.5 1) FSD turns right into a small alley that only fits one car at a time, sees oncoming car, reverses out of alley to make space, realizes oncoming car is actually parking, re-enters alley. 2) Insane speed to vehicle cues. As FSD approaches the intersection at the end of the small alley, it yields for traffic, but at the SECOND the car to our left slows, it realizes they’re letting us go and executes with zero hesitation. You can see the nose of the vehicle on the far left side of the shot here to gauge reaction speed. 3) FSD approaches railroad traffic, clears the vehicle intersection, but stops shy of first RR track instead of queueing behind lead car, ignoring the human who decided to foolishly stop in front of the track. This is why I’m bullish. This tech is just a constant mindblower when you’re out here using it.

162,869 次观看 • 1 个月前

Amazing V14.3.4 clip that joel just sent me and asked me to share from his M3P. What I love most about this clip is that FSD understands what needs to happen and reacts BEFORE the lead car even throws it in reverse. This is such a critical indicator that FSD isn’t just reacting to objects in its path, but actually understands what happens next before it even needs to start backing up to clear the dodge ram. This is one of my favorite edge cases in a minute. FSD IS THE TRUTH

Amazing V14.3.4 clip that joel just sent me and asked me to share from his M3P. What I love most about this clip is that FSD understands what needs to happen and reacts BEFORE the lead car even throws it in reverse. This is such a critical indicator that FSD isn’t just reacting to objects in its path, but actually understands what happens next before it even needs to start backing up to clear the dodge ram. This is one of my favorite edge cases in a minute. FSD IS THE TRUTH

177,396 次观看 • 2 个月前

When Tesla owners tell you about how seamless the Tesla experience is, this is what we mean. The raw, unedited experience. And it just goes from the end of this video to your driveway. Open door, buckle seatbelt, press a button on a touch screen.

When Tesla owners tell you about how seamless the Tesla experience is, this is what we mean. The raw, unedited experience. And it just goes from the end of this video to your driveway. Open door, buckle seatbelt, press a button on a touch screen.

1,156,754 次观看 • 1 年前

FSD V14.2.2.5 takes me 415 miles from Raleigh, North Carolina to Philadelphia, Pennsylvania in my Tesla Model Y. Zero interventions. Zero input of any kind to the steering wheel or pedals for this entire day-long drive. When I left, it was 58F and raining. When I arrived home, it was 35F, with snow on the ground. FSD handled heavy rain, light rain, day, night, declining temps, heavy traffic, construction, etc. All flawlessly. Tesla ships the most mind-blowing consumer AI of any kind by far. If you haven't tried FSD V14.2 yet, you should. It's a game-changing experience. Music written and recorded by the Local Philly Homie Stainless Steele. Thanks for letting me use the tracks! They rule.

FSD V14.2.2.5 takes me 415 miles from Raleigh, North Carolina to Philadelphia, Pennsylvania in my Tesla Model Y. Zero interventions. Zero input of any kind to the steering wheel or pedals for this entire day-long drive. When I left, it was 58F and raining. When I arrived home, it was 35F, with snow on the ground. FSD handled heavy rain, light rain, day, night, declining temps, heavy traffic, construction, etc. All flawlessly. Tesla ships the most mind-blowing consumer AI of any kind by far. If you haven't tried FSD V14.2 yet, you should. It's a game-changing experience. Music written and recorded by the Local Philly Homie Stainless Steele. Thanks for letting me use the tracks! They rule.

381,446 次观看 • 6 个月前

This meme is a modern work of art tbh. Put it in the museum.

This meme is a modern work of art tbh. Put it in the museum.

465,597 次观看 • 8 个月前

Trying out Tesla’s fake self driving software in some drifty snow!

Trying out Tesla’s fake self driving software in some drifty snow!

400,206 次观看 • 8 个月前

If you want to understand why Tesla fans are losing it daily, it’s because this is the “take a step back and think about it” moment we are having in our cars basically every day since V13 launched. THE WOLF IS IN THE ROOM

If you want to understand why Tesla fans are losing it daily, it’s because this is the “take a step back and think about it” moment we are having in our cars basically every day since V13 launched. THE WOLF IS IN THE ROOM

575,869 次观看 • 1 年前

The layout of this on-ramp has changed 3-4 times in the last month or two as construction works to remove old toll furniture. Every time, FSD has zero problem navigating through the new routing that isn’t map accurate.

The layout of this on-ramp has changed 3-4 times in the last month or two as construction works to remove old toll furniture. Every time, FSD has zero problem navigating through the new routing that isn’t map accurate.

554,990 次观看 • 1 年前

Kyle knows. We are so close. Bears so cooked

Kyle knows. We are so close. Bears so cooked

535,592 次观看 • 1 年前

Walk up to the car, open the door. No looking for keys, pressing any key fob buttons, nothing. The car senses your presence. Sit down, car already on and ready. Buckle your seatbelt, start your song, press the blue button. Sit back and relax. That’s it.

Walk up to the car, open the door. No looking for keys, pressing any key fob buttons, nothing. The car senses your presence. Sit down, car already on and ready. Buckle your seatbelt, start your song, press the blue button. Sit back and relax. That’s it.

616,038 次观看 • 1 年前

FSD V14.3.6 ➡️ 14.3.7 First hour review: Similar to every release since 14.2, I pressed the button and sat there for an hour while FSD drove me everywhere across every type of road. Interventions don’t happen outside of parking lots anymore. I can’t remember when I had to take over on the road. FSD is a work of art. On the short list of greatest consumer products in human history.

FSD V14.3.6 ➡️ 14.3.7 First hour review: Similar to every release since 14.2, I pressed the button and sat there for an hour while FSD drove me everywhere across every type of road. Interventions don’t happen outside of parking lots anymore. I can’t remember when I had to take over on the road. FSD is a work of art. On the short list of greatest consumer products in human history.

43,689 次观看 • 1 个月前

This is basically the only part of FSD that is still broken, and really the only place I still disengage. Here I am arriving at my destination. FSD ignores tons of spots to bias toward the pin at the front of the store, and then seems to get itself stuck in a perpetual loop instead of parking. Until I give up and take over. Because of this, I usually just take over at destinations. Can’t wait until this is fixed.

This is basically the only part of FSD that is still broken, and really the only place I still disengage. Here I am arriving at my destination. FSD ignores tons of spots to bias toward the pin at the front of the store, and then seems to get itself stuck in a perpetual loop instead of parking. Until I give up and take over. Because of this, I usually just take over at destinations. Can’t wait until this is fixed.

212,227 次观看 • 6 个月前

FSD parks like a jackass, realizes it, and fixes itself.

FSD parks like a jackass, realizes it, and fixes itself.

62,838 次观看 • 1 个月前

FSD V14.3.4 ➡️ FSD V14.3.5 FIRST IMPRESSIONS: I got in the car, pressed a button, and my car drove me to a coffee shop. That’s the review. That’s basically the only review anymore. Here’s the footage.

FSD V14.3.4 ➡️ FSD V14.3.5 FIRST IMPRESSIONS: I got in the car, pressed a button, and my car drove me to a coffee shop. That’s the review. That’s basically the only review anymore. Here’s the footage.

42,990 次观看 • 1 个月前

> Own a Tesla > Wake up in a hotel in a city you’ve never been to before > Google “coffee shop nearby” in bed on phone, select “directions,” tap “share,” tap “send to Tesla.” > Get up, shower, pack suitcase. > Get in Tesla, put on seatbelt, tap “start self driving,” sit there and check out the city while your robot drives you through sunrise rush hour/heavy construction. One of the greatest consumer products ever made.

> Own a Tesla > Wake up in a hotel in a city you’ve never been to before > Google “coffee shop nearby” in bed on phone, select “directions,” tap “share,” tap “send to Tesla.” > Get up, shower, pack suitcase. > Get in Tesla, put on seatbelt, tap “start self driving,” sit there and check out the city while your robot drives you through sunrise rush hour/heavy construction. One of the greatest consumer products ever made.

98,997 次观看 • 4 个月前