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Mike P

@mikepat711 • 19,619 subscribers

Shitposting, PhD. Meme Researcher.

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Dear Tesla AI, I am on I-95 South near Washington DC. I just disengaged my Tesla because I thought it was confusing the shoulder for a lane. I logged the disengagement as critical. As you can see in the video below, it turns out that once again, I’ve mistakenly assumed my meat brain knows better than your AI model. I wanted to let you know that this disengagement can be removed from the statistics, as it once again turns out that I am the fool. Sorry about that. Thank you for reading.

Dear Tesla AI, I am on I-95 South near Washington DC. I just disengaged my Tesla because I thought it was confusing the shoulder for a lane. I logged the disengagement as critical. As you can see in the video below, it turns out that once again, I’ve mistakenly assumed my meat brain knows better than your AI model. I wanted to let you know that this disengagement can be removed from the statistics, as it once again turns out that I am the fool. Sorry about that. Thank you for reading.

292,000 görüntüleme

It’s 2025. If the car can’t do this, I’m not even coming to the dealership. Those are the facts, and they are big.

It’s 2025. If the car can’t do this, I’m not even coming to the dealership. Those are the facts, and they are big.

3,014,526 görüntüleme

On older versions of FSD, when the car did something that seemed weird, your first instinct was to disengage. On FSD V14.3.4, when the car does something that seems weird, your first instinct is to look around for what it is seeing before you see it yourself.

On older versions of FSD, when the car did something that seemed weird, your first instinct was to disengage. On FSD V14.3.4, when the car does something that seems weird, your first instinct is to look around for what it is seeing before you see it yourself.

45,126 görüntüleme

FSD realizes the car to its’ left dun goofed up/has nowhere to go, anticipates what it needs to do, and slows to let him in. Zoom into the guy’s license plate and read it. Can’t make this stuff up 😂

FSD realizes the car to its’ left dun goofed up/has nowhere to go, anticipates what it needs to do, and slows to let him in. Zoom into the guy’s license plate and read it. Can’t make this stuff up 😂

164,477 görüntüleme

FSD recognizes the RAV4 needs to merge, but is pinned by the semi, so it tries to slow down to let the RAV4 jump in, but the RAV4 is being a baby about it and not taking the hint. As soon as FSD has the gap it goes for the yeet. 14.2 is way better at handling these sorts of situations where human drivers get stuck in the stalemate if “you go, no you go!” Didn’t used to be the case.

FSD recognizes the RAV4 needs to merge, but is pinned by the semi, so it tries to slow down to let the RAV4 jump in, but the RAV4 is being a baby about it and not taking the hint. As soon as FSD has the gap it goes for the yeet. 14.2 is way better at handling these sorts of situations where human drivers get stuck in the stalemate if “you go, no you go!” Didn’t used to be the case.

244,831 görüntüleme

FSD V14.3.4 vs incorrect line paint. It did this on older versions too, but man, blows me away how effortlessly it knows when to ignore road features and when to obey them. Just like us

FSD V14.3.4 vs incorrect line paint. It did this on older versions too, but man, blows me away how effortlessly it knows when to ignore road features and when to obey them. Just like us

42,520 görüntüleme

The Tesla charging experience is so clunky and such a pain. Who wants to deal with this?

The Tesla charging experience is so clunky and such a pain. Who wants to deal with this?

296,837 görüntüleme

FSD does not mindlessly follow lead cars. In this scenario, there are definitely some humans who would’ve just latched on and snuck through behind the lead car. FSD waits for its own visibility and doesn’t assume anything.

FSD does not mindlessly follow lead cars. In this scenario, there are definitely some humans who would’ve just latched on and snuck through behind the lead car. FSD waits for its own visibility and doesn’t assume anything.

88,043 görüntüleme

Mad Max doesn’t have time for your bullshit.

Mad Max doesn’t have time for your bullshit.

51,505 görüntüleme

Very alarming glitch on 14.3.3. At the end of the initial back in, FSD slams the brakes unnecessarily, causing the car to drop into rear suspension (you can see it on the screen). After this, instead of going into park, I experienced two additional micro jolts that scared the shit out of me. You can see me hover the brake and almost disengage. The jolts didn’t actually move the car. They were so fast and triggered hard braking that bounced the vehicle, which you can see if you watch closely. Haven’t seen anything like this before. Very alarming.

Very alarming glitch on 14.3.3. At the end of the initial back in, FSD slams the brakes unnecessarily, causing the car to drop into rear suspension (you can see it on the screen). After this, instead of going into park, I experienced two additional micro jolts that scared the shit out of me. You can see me hover the brake and almost disengage. The jolts didn’t actually move the car. They were so fast and triggered hard braking that bounced the vehicle, which you can see if you watch closely. Haven’t seen anything like this before. Very alarming.

35,639 görüntüleme

FSD V14.3.1 approaches a routine stop sign, encounters a police officer directing traffic, understands that the officer’s gesture overrides stop sign, does not stop, proceeds through on officer’s gesture. Flawless. I jolted up and almost hit the brake, but was immediately reminded that Tesla is basically shipping AGI at this point.

FSD V14.3.1 approaches a routine stop sign, encounters a police officer directing traffic, understands that the officer’s gesture overrides stop sign, does not stop, proceeds through on officer’s gesture. Flawless. I jolted up and almost hit the brake, but was immediately reminded that Tesla is basically shipping AGI at this point.

33,388 görüntüleme

Cool moment this morning. FSD goes to stage the exit, sees the royally f’d up road surface, path planner jolts back and waits to stage until we’re past the rough road. I could feel the car beginning to shift before cancelling and waiting until we passed this patch of road.

Cool moment this morning. FSD goes to stage the exit, sees the royally f’d up road surface, path planner jolts back and waits to stage until we’re past the rough road. I could feel the car beginning to shift before cancelling and waiting until we passed this patch of road.

25,676 görüntüleme

I can’t stand Ilhan Omar, really. Sucks so bad. But the people spamming this WW11 post are the same people who bitch about the left constantly doctoring clips/presenting them out of context with the goal of creating false narratives about their opponents. You are doing the same thing. So what’s up? What are we doing here?

I can’t stand Ilhan Omar, really. Sucks so bad. But the people spamming this WW11 post are the same people who bitch about the left constantly doctoring clips/presenting them out of context with the goal of creating false narratives about their opponents. You are doing the same thing. So what’s up? What are we doing here?

29,225 görüntüleme

FSD V14.3.1 camps the left lane and gets passed on the right by multiple vehicles. So weird to me that despite how intelligent the car is during so many scenarios, it has so much trouble with this very simple thing. I still feel like 14.1 was the best highway iteration ever. 14.3.1 seems overall worse than 14.2.2.5 so far.

FSD V14.3.1 camps the left lane and gets passed on the right by multiple vehicles. So weird to me that despite how intelligent the car is during so many scenarios, it has so much trouble with this very simple thing. I still feel like 14.1 was the best highway iteration ever. 14.3.1 seems overall worse than 14.2.2.5 so far.

26,053 görüntüleme

FSD V14.2.2.3 begins to execute a blind right turn that leads directly toward a one-lane covered bridge. Without any yield signs or prior notice until half way through the turn, FSD recognizes the structure as a one-lane structure and yields with plenty of distance, making sure the bridge is clear of oncoming traffic before proceeding. This behavior did not exist on any version prior to 14. Prior versions would have proceeded unless there was some visible obstruction that entered the vehicle’s path mid maneuver. Here, FSD is preemptively yielding because it understands the infrastructure. It is not reacting to any obstruction. Sentient. Can’t imagine how wild this is going to be in 6-12 months from now. 5 years from now? Real-world AI comin’ in hot.

FSD V14.2.2.3 begins to execute a blind right turn that leads directly toward a one-lane covered bridge. Without any yield signs or prior notice until half way through the turn, FSD recognizes the structure as a one-lane structure and yields with plenty of distance, making sure the bridge is clear of oncoming traffic before proceeding. This behavior did not exist on any version prior to 14. Prior versions would have proceeded unless there was some visible obstruction that entered the vehicle’s path mid maneuver. Here, FSD is preemptively yielding because it understands the infrastructure. It is not reacting to any obstruction. Sentient. Can’t imagine how wild this is going to be in 6-12 months from now. 5 years from now? Real-world AI comin’ in hot.

42,878 görüntüleme

The hardest part of V14 to explain to people is just how locked in and responsive it is. There is a step change here vs V13. The car is aware and calculating future moves so insanely fast. In this video, watch the moment my speedometer goes from 70 to 69mph. It recognizes the signaling of vehicle in the right lane, and before it even begins its slide into our lane, FSD is slowing to prepare its next move. It’s hard to explain this because you have to be in the car to feel how quickly the car shows you through movement and speed change that it is aware of what’s happening. I felt it even before you see the speedometer move. It’s almost instant. Way faster than humans and V13.

The hardest part of V14 to explain to people is just how locked in and responsive it is. There is a step change here vs V13. The car is aware and calculating future moves so insanely fast. In this video, watch the moment my speedometer goes from 70 to 69mph. It recognizes the signaling of vehicle in the right lane, and before it even begins its slide into our lane, FSD is slowing to prepare its next move. It’s hard to explain this because you have to be in the car to feel how quickly the car shows you through movement and speed change that it is aware of what’s happening. I felt it even before you see the speedometer move. It’s almost instant. Way faster than humans and V13.

50,915 görüntüleme

Kind of a bummer to see FSD V14.3.2 missing something this simple. In the past, I’ve seen the car understand and react to “turn only” line paint with 100% accuracy, but for some reason it’s just totally missing this. I’ve had it happen in this spot multiple times recently. Plenty of time to see this and react to it too :/

Kind of a bummer to see FSD V14.3.2 missing something this simple. In the past, I’ve seen the car understand and react to “turn only” line paint with 100% accuracy, but for some reason it’s just totally missing this. I’ve had it happen in this spot multiple times recently. Plenty of time to see this and react to it too :/

14,245 görüntüleme

Ran into a truck running an old driving algorithm. FSD is chill about it

Ran into a truck running an old driving algorithm. FSD is chill about it

38,691 görüntüleme

Does your Bluecruise do little efficiency yeets into clear lanes on city streets when right lane traffic is high? It’s a level 2 system which means it’s the same thing as FSD, so it should. Lmk ty

Does your Bluecruise do little efficiency yeets into clear lanes on city streets when right lane traffic is high? It’s a level 2 system which means it’s the same thing as FSD, so it should. Lmk ty

28,861 görüntüleme

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Absolute SAVAGERY by mad max on V14.3.3 😂 We’re driving along the highway, and encounter traffic. We are supposed to be on the roadway I’m pointing at with an arrow a few seconds into the video. FSD knows from mapping that the Rt 1 exit allows an opportunity to re-connect with I-76 before it branches off into an exit lane, and to avoid a section of traffic, FSD decides to yeet the exit, blow by about 1/2 mile of the backup before muscling its way back onto 76. I had to mute the video because I was laughing like a psycho the entire time. So good. Mad max will get you where you’re goin man

Absolute SAVAGERY by mad max on V14.3.3 😂 We’re driving along the highway, and encounter traffic. We are supposed to be on the roadway I’m pointing at with an arrow a few seconds into the video. FSD knows from mapping that the Rt 1 exit allows an opportunity to re-connect with I-76 before it branches off into an exit lane, and to avoid a section of traffic, FSD decides to yeet the exit, blow by about 1/2 mile of the backup before muscling its way back onto 76. I had to mute the video because I was laughing like a psycho the entire time. So good. Mad max will get you where you’re goin man

542,017 görüntüleme • 1 ay önce

TSLA is the worst investment I’ve ever made in my entire life, but here’s their technology flawlessly merging onto a recently augmented highway during sunrise with tons of chaotic line paint/markings.

TSLA is the worst investment I’ve ever made in my entire life, but here’s their technology flawlessly merging onto a recently augmented highway during sunrise with tons of chaotic line paint/markings.

927,413 görüntüleme • 2 ay önce

Amazing V14.3.4 clip that joel just sent me and asked me to share from his M3P. What I love most about this clip is that FSD understands what needs to happen and reacts BEFORE the lead car even throws it in reverse. This is such a critical indicator that FSD isn’t just reacting to objects in its path, but actually understands what happens next before it even needs to start backing up to clear the dodge ram. This is one of my favorite edge cases in a minute. FSD IS THE TRUTH

Amazing V14.3.4 clip that joel just sent me and asked me to share from his M3P. What I love most about this clip is that FSD understands what needs to happen and reacts BEFORE the lead car even throws it in reverse. This is such a critical indicator that FSD isn’t just reacting to objects in its path, but actually understands what happens next before it even needs to start backing up to clear the dodge ram. This is one of my favorite edge cases in a minute. FSD IS THE TRUTH

176,793 görüntüleme • 22 gün önce

Tesla Self-Driving sucks and doesn't work. This compressed video shows 90 minutes of Tesla's V14.2.2.5 moving through the heart of Philadelphia, and back to the suburbs for some errands. As you watch this clip, you'll start to realize that Tesla's goal of autonomy at-scale is very far from here, and probably won't ever actually happen. The entire charade is nonsense. Tesla cars have level 2 ADAS just like SuperCruise and BlueCruise. Yes, your Chevy Silverado does do this. More music by the homie Stainless Steele

Tesla Self-Driving sucks and doesn't work. This compressed video shows 90 minutes of Tesla's V14.2.2.5 moving through the heart of Philadelphia, and back to the suburbs for some errands. As you watch this clip, you'll start to realize that Tesla's goal of autonomy at-scale is very far from here, and probably won't ever actually happen. The entire charade is nonsense. Tesla cars have level 2 ADAS just like SuperCruise and BlueCruise. Yes, your Chevy Silverado does do this. More music by the homie Stainless Steele

596,655 görüntüleme • 3 ay önce

This is what it’s like to own a Tesla in 2025.

This is what it’s like to own a Tesla in 2025.

923,885 görüntüleme • 7 ay önce

FSD V14.2.2.5 takes me 415 miles from Raleigh, North Carolina to Philadelphia, Pennsylvania in my Tesla Model Y. Zero interventions. Zero input of any kind to the steering wheel or pedals for this entire day-long drive. When I left, it was 58F and raining. When I arrived home, it was 35F, with snow on the ground. FSD handled heavy rain, light rain, day, night, declining temps, heavy traffic, construction, etc. All flawlessly. Tesla ships the most mind-blowing consumer AI of any kind by far. If you haven't tried FSD V14.2 yet, you should. It's a game-changing experience. Music written and recorded by the Local Philly Homie Stainless Steele. Thanks for letting me use the tracks! They rule.

FSD V14.2.2.5 takes me 415 miles from Raleigh, North Carolina to Philadelphia, Pennsylvania in my Tesla Model Y. Zero interventions. Zero input of any kind to the steering wheel or pedals for this entire day-long drive. When I left, it was 58F and raining. When I arrived home, it was 35F, with snow on the ground. FSD handled heavy rain, light rain, day, night, declining temps, heavy traffic, construction, etc. All flawlessly. Tesla ships the most mind-blowing consumer AI of any kind by far. If you haven't tried FSD V14.2 yet, you should. It's a game-changing experience. Music written and recorded by the Local Philly Homie Stainless Steele. Thanks for letting me use the tracks! They rule.

381,324 görüntüleme • 4 ay önce

When Tesla owners tell you about how seamless the Tesla experience is, this is what we mean. The raw, unedited experience. And it just goes from the end of this video to your driveway. Open door, buckle seatbelt, press a button on a touch screen.

When Tesla owners tell you about how seamless the Tesla experience is, this is what we mean. The raw, unedited experience. And it just goes from the end of this video to your driveway. Open door, buckle seatbelt, press a button on a touch screen.

1,156,721 görüntüleme • 1 yıl önce

This meme is a modern work of art tbh. Put it in the museum.

This meme is a modern work of art tbh. Put it in the museum.

465,052 görüntüleme • 7 ay önce

Trying out Tesla’s fake self driving software in some drifty snow!

Trying out Tesla’s fake self driving software in some drifty snow!

400,206 görüntüleme • 7 ay önce

The layout of this on-ramp has changed 3-4 times in the last month or two as construction works to remove old toll furniture. Every time, FSD has zero problem navigating through the new routing that isn’t map accurate.

The layout of this on-ramp has changed 3-4 times in the last month or two as construction works to remove old toll furniture. Every time, FSD has zero problem navigating through the new routing that isn’t map accurate.

554,990 görüntüleme • 10 ay önce

If you want to understand why Tesla fans are losing it daily, it’s because this is the “take a step back and think about it” moment we are having in our cars basically every day since V13 launched. THE WOLF IS IN THE ROOM

If you want to understand why Tesla fans are losing it daily, it’s because this is the “take a step back and think about it” moment we are having in our cars basically every day since V13 launched. THE WOLF IS IN THE ROOM

575,495 görüntüleme • 11 ay önce

Kyle knows. We are so close. Bears so cooked

Kyle knows. We are so close. Bears so cooked

535,592 görüntüleme • 11 ay önce

Walk up to the car, open the door. No looking for keys, pressing any key fob buttons, nothing. The car senses your presence. Sit down, car already on and ready. Buckle your seatbelt, start your song, press the blue button. Sit back and relax. That’s it.

Walk up to the car, open the door. No looking for keys, pressing any key fob buttons, nothing. The car senses your presence. Sit down, car already on and ready. Buckle your seatbelt, start your song, press the blue button. Sit back and relax. That’s it.

616,038 görüntüleme • 1 yıl önce

This is basically the only part of FSD that is still broken, and really the only place I still disengage. Here I am arriving at my destination. FSD ignores tons of spots to bias toward the pin at the front of the store, and then seems to get itself stuck in a perpetual loop instead of parking. Until I give up and take over. Because of this, I usually just take over at destinations. Can’t wait until this is fixed.

This is basically the only part of FSD that is still broken, and really the only place I still disengage. Here I am arriving at my destination. FSD ignores tons of spots to bias toward the pin at the front of the store, and then seems to get itself stuck in a perpetual loop instead of parking. Until I give up and take over. Because of this, I usually just take over at destinations. Can’t wait until this is fixed.

212,207 görüntüleme • 4 ay önce

> Own a Tesla > Wake up in a hotel in a city you’ve never been to before > Google “coffee shop nearby” in bed on phone, select “directions,” tap “share,” tap “send to Tesla.” > Get up, shower, pack suitcase. > Get in Tesla, put on seatbelt, tap “start self driving,” sit there and check out the city while your robot drives you through sunrise rush hour/heavy construction. One of the greatest consumer products ever made.

> Own a Tesla > Wake up in a hotel in a city you’ve never been to before > Google “coffee shop nearby” in bed on phone, select “directions,” tap “share,” tap “send to Tesla.” > Get up, shower, pack suitcase. > Get in Tesla, put on seatbelt, tap “start self driving,” sit there and check out the city while your robot drives you through sunrise rush hour/heavy construction. One of the greatest consumer products ever made.

98,997 görüntüleme • 3 ay önce

They say Tesla will never deliver autonomy but this is my life every day so you can’t really blame me for thinking you’re an idiot.

They say Tesla will never deliver autonomy but this is my life every day so you can’t really blame me for thinking you’re an idiot.

67,266 görüntüleme • 2 ay önce

FSD V14.3.3 ignores multiple signs and merge arrows as lane ends, shifts over at last possible second. I expect it to miss the overhead signs obviously, but I swear earlier versions of V14 reacted to merge arrow paint or merging lane signs. I’ve noticed on 14.3 that these things don’t seem to happen as much anymore. Did it never pay attention to this stuff and it was just a coincidence? Or has FSD gotten worse at this on 14.3?

FSD V14.3.3 ignores multiple signs and merge arrows as lane ends, shifts over at last possible second. I expect it to miss the overhead signs obviously, but I swear earlier versions of V14 reacted to merge arrow paint or merging lane signs. I’ve noticed on 14.3 that these things don’t seem to happen as much anymore. Did it never pay attention to this stuff and it was just a coincidence? Or has FSD gotten worse at this on 14.3?

39,585 görüntüleme • 1 ay önce

Yet another video proving that Tesla “Self-Driving” isn’t real and will never work. Another Musk lie.

Yet another video proving that Tesla “Self-Driving” isn’t real and will never work. Another Musk lie.

28,441 görüntüleme • 29 gün önce

When you mount a camera to your car and run it every time you FSD in your Tesla, you’re bound to catch those little moments of pure magic that give you chills. This might be my favorite I’ve ever captured. Here’s a very awkward edge case. I am approaching a railroad crossing from an adjacent road. At the very moment I approach the stop sign, the lights begin to flash, and the bell begins to ring. FSD V14.2 does its NHTSA stop, and is at the point when it would normally proceed (BEFORE the gate arms begin to fall). FSD is able to gather context from the flashing red lights and the sound of the bell. From an adjacent road. Without any gate arm movement as additional cue. I really wasn’t sure here, and thought I might need to take over because of our awkward positioning, and because the arms weren’t going to drop before FSD would typically go. But nope. No problem for the sentient AI. As a cherry on top… when the gate lifts, the silver car waves me on and FSD begins to engage the right turn, but it stops before executing the turn…. Wtf?… oh lol. Forgot my robot car has eyes on the side of its head. Unbelievable technology. This company is at the very beginning of something incredible. Sustainable abundance or die trying. ❤️

When you mount a camera to your car and run it every time you FSD in your Tesla, you’re bound to catch those little moments of pure magic that give you chills. This might be my favorite I’ve ever captured. Here’s a very awkward edge case. I am approaching a railroad crossing from an adjacent road. At the very moment I approach the stop sign, the lights begin to flash, and the bell begins to ring. FSD V14.2 does its NHTSA stop, and is at the point when it would normally proceed (BEFORE the gate arms begin to fall). FSD is able to gather context from the flashing red lights and the sound of the bell. From an adjacent road. Without any gate arm movement as additional cue. I really wasn’t sure here, and thought I might need to take over because of our awkward positioning, and because the arms weren’t going to drop before FSD would typically go. But nope. No problem for the sentient AI. As a cherry on top… when the gate lifts, the silver car waves me on and FSD begins to engage the right turn, but it stops before executing the turn…. Wtf?… oh lol. Forgot my robot car has eyes on the side of its head. Unbelievable technology. This company is at the very beginning of something incredible. Sustainable abundance or die trying. ❤️

92,367 görüntüleme • 4 ay önce

FSD V14.3.3 is routed to the Paramus NJ supercharger along my trip. We get to the parking lot, and FSD decides it’d rather go to Raymour & Flanigan for some reason. wtf lol. Why is nav such a massive piece of shit?

FSD V14.3.3 is routed to the Paramus NJ supercharger along my trip. We get to the parking lot, and FSD decides it’d rather go to Raymour & Flanigan for some reason. wtf lol. Why is nav such a massive piece of shit?

35,169 görüntüleme • 1 ay önce