Myths and Stories
@myths_and_stori • 6,530 subscribers
interesting facts about our special planet || sorry about the checkmark it lets me post the long captions sorry
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the tunklet industry is in shambles. doomed to seasonal irrelevance by the far more lucrative poultry, beef, and "beyond meat" markets, the tunklet is an underutilized bird by a wide margin. yet one creative genious, a geneticist at western gigglegrub university, had an idea: what if we could put tunklet back ON the menu? now, we've been told not to cover this story, as it pertains to top secret intellectual property... but oh, what the heck— when has that ever stopped us!? these here are "st. paddy's day tunklets," a genetically modified bird with an unusual green hue! according to the team at gigglegrub labs, the st. paddy's day tunklet has the potential to revolutionize the holiday as we know it: "move over, corned beef! there's a new meatfriend on the menu!" it would seem, too, that investors concurred with the claim: since april 2025, when the green-typed tunklets were first announced, gigglegrub labs' stock prices have risen almost 550 percent— to a market cap of nearly four billion dollars. however, the recent lab leak has given credibility to fears that the newly-formed team at gigglegrub labs is ill-prepared for such a massive market. will investors scamper off, or will this green gobbler's gentility shine through? (from ig @ xavigxochi)
Myths and Stories17,765 Aufrufe • vor 1 Tag
okay, not gonna name names, but it looks like SOMEONE called the ASPCA on us for painting all those animals green, even AFTER we made it clear that all the dyes we use are verified as safe. we even got one of the interns to eat a globule of it in front of a crowd! just wish we would've known that he had crippling agoraphobia BEFORE he vomited all over the stage... BUT, the point SHOULD STILL STAND: we trust our material sciences teams with our lives! whatever, guess we've gotta reinstate a few protocols that we put in place back during our last audit. you know the drill, people: if you ever haul out a grean creacher, make ABSOLUTELY SURE you let the audience watch you wipe off the paint. yes, it might break the little kids' hearts to find out that the ultra-rare "key lime sealnar" is little more than smoke and mirrors... but, look on the bright side! maybe some of those precocious young minds will channel that betrayal into something productive, like genetically engineering a REAL "key lime sealnar!" (from twt @ Bakutan_bot1)
Myths and Stories567,848 Aufrufe • vor 1 Monat
how tragic, the plight of the dancing stumphopper. once the male activates its rhythmic charms, it has just a few seconds to woo a potential mate before poofing out of existence completely. can you imagine such a world? evolutionary biologists are frankly stumped by this poor spetument. some even refer to it as a "punishment by god" for such immaculate coreographic prowess in such a small, buge-like package.
Myths and Stories 🔜 AC441,669 Aufrufe • vor 9 Monaten
the dark fountain in grubs mackenzie municipal park has been open since early monday morning, when eyewitnesses say an "impressionable-looking youngster" stabbed a sharpened dagger into the grounds near the kobayashi memorial fountain. since then, the dark fountain has been spraying all sorts of semiotic muck all over the place— it's turned the merry go round into a horse ranch, the playground into a gameshow... and the community center down the way!? don't even get me started. it's a WHOLE can of worms. local authorities are already attempting to remedy the situation... but it appears that one wormnar has attempted to succeed where the law has failed: with nothing more than his measly little squirmers, wormnar has successfully escaped the stickerbush forest, fought off the mutant park-squirrels, and brought the darkener denizens of parktopia together under a unified heading of peace and kindness for all! now, there's just one thing left to do: seal the dark fountain at the realm's center, and eviscerate them all for good. (from twt @ Tomomichikobaya)
Myths and Stories58,219 Aufrufe • vor 1 Monat
with the severing of his spirit from this mortal coil, the venerable squidbert is at last laid to rest. in accordance with squidbert cultural practices, he is to be buried in the sands of his homeland, and slowly devoured by the fantasmal ghost conches that dwell amongst the detritus… for it is from this land that he emerged, and it is to this land that he now must return. unfortunately, we discovered that his small hometown village was destroyed to make room for a new family-oriented suburban housing community, with close proximity to a multitude of transit options. without an alternative, petco brand fish rocks, and these voracious dungmuncher snails, will have to do.
Myths and Stories77,053 Aufrufe • vor 8 Monaten
even after taking every precaution, establishing every safeguard... you can never bee *too* safe from a deranged crudfish attack. look no further than this clip of sorts here... the events you now witness transpired over the course of an extended leave of absence, as the tank owner was away at a trade show over the weekend... upon their return, they discovered every fishnar keeper's fear: a crudfish, squatting upon their tank of sorts. but... it gets even worse— for this crudfish foe has hatched a nefarious scheme: slowly, bit by bit, the crudfish sucks in a morsel of tank water, before spitting it out onto the tiled floor below. in isolation, merely an innosent prank of sorts... ...that is, until they discovered the crudfish's profanity laden manifesto: swearing revenge on the fishnar keeper community, the crudfish orchestrated a heinous act of fishnar sabotage— squirt by wretched squirt, they intended to drain the tank of its preciose water resource... suffocating itself, and the whole tanknar with it. yes... were this crudfish's plan's to come to fruitition, the denizens of this aquaphorium would have but mere months to live... let this be a firm reminder to all: even when you think you're safe, the crudfish is always scheming... (from xhs - id 609537724)
Myths and Stories28,961 Aufrufe • vor 2 Monaten
in his hubris, this little albasmego has mistaken an unsuspecting passerby for an enticing spelunking cavern. watch closely as he attempts to wriggle into any crevasse, hole, or tunnel that he can find... quite interesting, don't you think? yes, even in the wild, the curious albasmego has quite the penchant for exploration! in a given 24 hour period, a single albasmego can construct a mind-throbbing three-and-a-half miles of tunnel space; though, more often than not, these tunnels will twist, turn, and self-intersect. in fact, the term "smeg pit" was first invented in the late 1800s to refer to these sorts of types of subterranean labyrinthine structures!
Myths and Stories56,641 Aufrufe • vor 9 Monaten
...quite a sight to be hold, isn't it? you see, we're presently in the process of training these pygmy fapper crabs to withstand the trials and tribidations of a zero-G environment. they're not the sharpest knives in the crayon drawer, but on the bright side they don't know how to give anything other than 100%. plus corporate says we're getting a hefty sponsorship package for making this happen, so... whatever pays my checks, i guess. anyway, we have them here stationed in close proximity within the confines of this "anti-gravity work environment." here, they'll be able to practice their near-orbit responsibilities from the safety of our little test chamber. what responsibilities are those, you ask? well, my friend, that's technically under NDA, so i can't tell you until we've gotten our appendages off the ground. but i'll give you a little hint: it involves swimming... 😉 (from xhs - id 1082981811)
Myths and Stories 🔜 AC34,180 Aufrufe • vor 5 Monaten
check the news, it's official: they got the green. it's barely even been an hour, and already our green reserves our critically low. just think: who will we go to for our salads? our healthy vegetable platters? our seasonally-relevant shamrock shakes? but most of all, think about the children: when the time comes that every boy or girl or whatever goes to color in a leafy tree, or a grassy field... which crayon will they reach for? i strongly encourage our government to go to war with whoever is responsible for this. you know what? we don't even need to know. just throw a dart at a world map and start picking fights with whoever it lands on. (from ig @ algaltechnology)
Myths and Stories34,224 Aufrufe • vor 5 Monaten
investigators have dropped a bombshell in the story of sealnar, whose valiant sacrifice aboard the uss gawrgura saved a boatload of seamen from a "premature discharge" from this mortal plane. though previously believed to have perished from nuclear radiation, declassified footage taken from crew aboard the uss gawrgura paints a radically different picture: sealnar did not, in fact, succumb to radiation sickness. upon emerging from his final trip to the damaged core, sealnar was seemingly unharmed: biological data taken by medical staff on-site shows heart rate, brain activity, and biological signals returning values within normal limits. a closer look at his metabolic markers, however, reveals something shocking: levels of activity far exceeding the limitations of normal sealnar capabilities. from a layman's perspective, it appeared as if sealnar's body had undergone some sort of radical transformation, enabling it to convert radiation directly into ATP. overwhelmed by this massive influx of energy, sealnar's face appeared strained, contorted... even enraged. in his waning moments of lucidity, sealnar made a final request to his fellow crewmembers: a quick and merciful death, before his mutated flesh could wreak havoc upon this special planet, and its many interesting facts. (from ig @ _arcticmen_)
Myths and Stories 🔜 AC28,395 Aufrufe • vor 4 Monaten
who, me? no, i didn't teach him how to do that. he learned that all by his lonesome. guess all that time he spent effing around on the computer-dingus taught him a thing or two. imagine my shock when sealnar unleashed his first fiery explosion green screen at the dinner table... darn near scared me half to death! (from tt @ mmnewpxy)
Myths and Stories 🔜 AC20,410 Aufrufe • vor 3 Monaten
ah, green buge! how pleasant to see you here, on my post-holiday staycation to france! yes, quite coincidental, heheh... what's that? you snuck into my luggage before i left? and you hitched a ride on my flight here... WITHOUT proper documentation?? green buge... do you know what this means? it means you've made me an accessory to unlawful entry! we could end up in jail... nay, worse! i've never been behind bars, green buge... but from what i hear, they don't take too kindly to people like you and i in there... (from ig @ afoxinwhippetcountry)
Myths and Stories42,745 Aufrufe • vor 8 Monaten
did you know? a group of albatrosses is referred to as a "conversation." this nomenclature originates from 19th century dutch philologist cornelius pholio and his landmark work, "a comprehensive study of albatross linguistics." though his irreplicable inquiries were quickly forgotten by mainstream science, the work enjoyed a resurgence in the late 20th century as a piece of speculative fiction. but pholio's cultural footprint extends beyond mere trivia night dictionary words... if you've ever golfed, you may be familiar with pholio's influence! the word "albatross," used to refer to a score of three-under on a hole, originates from pholio's "triad theory," which states that all albatross vocabulary assumes a group of three or more conversational participants! (from ig @ melefaye2)
Myths and Stories 🔜 AC41,475 Aufrufe • vor 8 Monaten
warning: this video may contain green bug happenings... viewer discrecion is adviced... what should you do in the event of a green bug attack? most would hide, seek shelter, or maybe curl up and cry; but for one woman, all she knew was to fight back. ms sandra funke, 36, uploaded the shocking footage you see here, shortly after waking up at the hospital. the post description states that she had begun filming shortly after the spetument first attacked; the video shows as the green bug, initially restrained, manages to break free and tackle her, before skittering off, likely to prepare for a second attack. funke states that this continued for several minutes before the green bug grew bored and left. funke went inside to call 911, passing out from injuries shortly thereafter. emergency crews arrived to the scene within minutes of her call. she remains in the hospital today, and is currently expected to make a full recovery. funke credits her survival to a set of bugjutsu classes she took last summer. while some of us may be as brave as ms funke, we strongly encourage everyone, regardless of combat readiness, to keep a green bug kit on their person at all times, and to avoid confrontation by keeping distance whenever possible. as always, make sure to remember SMACK: - S - stop the bug’s advance using a bucket, cage, mesh, or other bug-resistant container. - M - mute the bug’s distress signal. approved green bug kits are now required to contain a signal and noise blocking device with enough charge to last for 30 minutes or more. turn on your device and place it within 6 feet of the buge. - A - assess the situation. green bug hotlines are staffed and ready to take your call. - C - call for help. phone someone who can assist with containment procedures. - K - kill the bug. use evil weed from your buge kit. in a pinch, normal weed will tranquilize the spetument for a few minutes.
Myths and Stories25,726 Aufrufe • vor 5 Monaten
im so sorry everypony, but i have some shocking news. catnar's best friend, onionlad, has tragically passed away. per his requests, onionlad was chopped, diced, and cremated in oil on medium heat. catnar was the only friend in attendance, exempting the mortuary attendant, who considered onionlad a fellow of questionable morals.
Myths and Stories26,881 Aufrufe • vor 6 Monaten