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How long should my baby use a pacifier? I get this question a lot and it’s a tough one - both because there isn’t a single correct answer and because (like feeding and sleep) the topic brings out lots of strong opinions. But if you ask me, the family... in this video has the right idea. Infants are born with a strong sucking reflex and pacifiers can help them to soothe and sleep. There’s even some evidence to suggest that sleeping with pacifiers might reduce the risk of Sudden Infant Death Syndrome (SIDS). In short: for babies (up to a year), I’m a big fan. But it’s not uncommon to see children with pacifiers well into toddlerhood, and in some cases, even beyond. And here I’d raise some important cautions. Children who rely heavily on pacifiers may be more prone to middle ear infections. And dentists note that prolonged pacifier use can affect your child’s teeth and create bite issues. Perhaps most importantly is their potential to impact expressive language development. Your child’s ability to speak is an important one. After a point, language shapes not only the content of our thinking, but the very structure of our cognition. By otherwise occupying the mouth over long periods of time, pacifiers may slow language development by limiting opportunities for expression. Speaking with a pacifier in the mouth can also lead to distortion of speech sounds (even when they aren’t in the mouth). All told, I’m an advocate for beginning to wean off of pacifiers at around a year of age - which is why this video spoke to me. We see an infant appropriately using one and big sister demonstrating her expressive language, her mouth unencumbered and free to chatter away happily. The transition can be difficult - but not nearly as challenging as for a child who has become dependent over a period of years. Do/did you use pacifiers with your child? Why or why not? How did you help transition away from their use? This sweet siblings were shared to IG by _lullabye_luxuries_.show more

Dan Wuori

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158,122 views • 2 years ago •via X (Twitter)

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Infant sleep can be such a tricky thing. Just as soon as you get reaccustomed to resting through the night, all of a sudden your baby reverts to waking multiple times a night. Welcome to the 8 month sleep regression. Interruptions in sleep patterns often coincide with the development of new skills and somewhere around 8 months you’re due for the biggest of them all. That’s because your baby is becoming mobile - and putting all the skills together to roll, crawl, and even pull to a stand in their crib. For infants this is a HUGE breakthrough. Imagine having spent your entire life mostly stationary, with your ability to pursue your own interests - or even adjust your view - subject to the whims of a caregiver. Somewhere between 6-9 months most babies begin discovering a host of new abilities. And let’s face it, some of them are a lot more entertaining than sleep. The good news (at 3am) is that the novelty here is temporary…but there are some important ways you can help your baby to navigate this period safely. Perhaps the most important one is illustrated in this video. And that’s adjusting the height of your child’s crib mattress to its lowest level. With newborns and immobile infants, it’s often convenient to elevate their mattress so they can be placed into and retrieved from the crib more easily. But when your baby begins pulling to a stand it’s critical that you lower their mattress to prevent accidental falls. Babies are top heavy and can easily go tumbling out without such adjustments. You may also find that your baby masters pulling to a stand faster than they master sitting back down - which can create a crib dilemma and a need for assistance. You can navigate through this phase more quickly by providing lots of wakeful practice in both standing and sitting, which may involve gently guiding your little one to bend their legs at the knee - or even placing an appealing toy on the ground near their feet to incentivize sitting back down. As for the sleep regression, it’ll be over before you know it. And while it can be frustrating in the middle of the night, think of it as a breakthrough. Your baby is reaching new developmental milestones - and about to go fully mobile. This sweet little guy was shared to IG by fesgheliha_.

Infant sleep can be such a tricky thing. Just as soon as you get reaccustomed to resting through the night, all of a sudden your baby reverts to waking multiple times a night. Welcome to the 8 month sleep regression. Interruptions in sleep patterns often coincide with the development of new skills and somewhere around 8 months you’re due for the biggest of them all. That’s because your baby is becoming mobile - and putting all the skills together to roll, crawl, and even pull to a stand in their crib. For infants this is a HUGE breakthrough. Imagine having spent your entire life mostly stationary, with your ability to pursue your own interests - or even adjust your view - subject to the whims of a caregiver. Somewhere between 6-9 months most babies begin discovering a host of new abilities. And let’s face it, some of them are a lot more entertaining than sleep. The good news (at 3am) is that the novelty here is temporary…but there are some important ways you can help your baby to navigate this period safely. Perhaps the most important one is illustrated in this video. And that’s adjusting the height of your child’s crib mattress to its lowest level. With newborns and immobile infants, it’s often convenient to elevate their mattress so they can be placed into and retrieved from the crib more easily. But when your baby begins pulling to a stand it’s critical that you lower their mattress to prevent accidental falls. Babies are top heavy and can easily go tumbling out without such adjustments. You may also find that your baby masters pulling to a stand faster than they master sitting back down - which can create a crib dilemma and a need for assistance. You can navigate through this phase more quickly by providing lots of wakeful practice in both standing and sitting, which may involve gently guiding your little one to bend their legs at the knee - or even placing an appealing toy on the ground near their feet to incentivize sitting back down. As for the sleep regression, it’ll be over before you know it. And while it can be frustrating in the middle of the night, think of it as a breakthrough. Your baby is reaching new developmental milestones - and about to go fully mobile. This sweet little guy was shared to IG by fesgheliha_.

Dan Wuori

129,771 views • 2 years ago

Baby talk vs “parentese” - what’s the difference? Often in my replies I see parents explaining why - as a method of promoting language acquisition - they never use “baby talk.” I generally agree with this sentiment, but there are some important distinctions to be made here. If by “baby talk” you mean using cutesy nonsense words (like wa-wa for water or ba-ba for bottle) you’re on the right track. There’s no need for you to make up incorrect or overly simplified vocabulary on your child’s behalf. Use real words, even if your child isn’t quite ready to do so themself. It’s how they learn. But sometimes I see confusion between “baby talk” and what is known as “motherese” or “parentese” - which isn’t nonsensical, but simply slower and more varied in intonation. (Think of Ms. Rachel’s sing-songy voice.) And this isn’t something you need to shy away from at all. In fact, research suggests that parentese - with its prolonged vowel sounds and expressive facial expressions - can be a social hook that attracts children’s attention, encouraging them to attune not only to the language to which they are being exposed but how it is produced. Importantly, it’s complete and grammatically correct… just a little more performative than you might use elsewhere. This lovely video, shared to IG by tommypadula, is a nice example. Everything mom says is 100% correct… it’s simply exaggerated in ways that are clearly capturing her daughter’s rapt attention. Just look at the smiles and eye contact it’s attracting. This isn’t baby talk. It’s parentese. And it’s fantastic.

Baby talk vs “parentese” - what’s the difference? Often in my replies I see parents explaining why - as a method of promoting language acquisition - they never use “baby talk.” I generally agree with this sentiment, but there are some important distinctions to be made here. If by “baby talk” you mean using cutesy nonsense words (like wa-wa for water or ba-ba for bottle) you’re on the right track. There’s no need for you to make up incorrect or overly simplified vocabulary on your child’s behalf. Use real words, even if your child isn’t quite ready to do so themself. It’s how they learn. But sometimes I see confusion between “baby talk” and what is known as “motherese” or “parentese” - which isn’t nonsensical, but simply slower and more varied in intonation. (Think of Ms. Rachel’s sing-songy voice.) And this isn’t something you need to shy away from at all. In fact, research suggests that parentese - with its prolonged vowel sounds and expressive facial expressions - can be a social hook that attracts children’s attention, encouraging them to attune not only to the language to which they are being exposed but how it is produced. Importantly, it’s complete and grammatically correct… just a little more performative than you might use elsewhere. This lovely video, shared to IG by tommypadula, is a nice example. Everything mom says is 100% correct… it’s simply exaggerated in ways that are clearly capturing her daughter’s rapt attention. Just look at the smiles and eye contact it’s attracting. This isn’t baby talk. It’s parentese. And it’s fantastic.

Dan Wuori

28,752 views • 1 year ago

Sorry, no time to sleep: I’ve discovered all these cool new sounds I can make. 🗣️ As infants grow it’s not uncommon for their sleep patterns to be interrupted in association with the achievement of new developmental milestones. These sleep regressions can be especially pronounced in association with big breakthroughs in language and motor development. Learning to roll over and pull to a stand, for example, both offer your little one a whole new set of options in the crib. No longer immobile, now there are new abilities to practice… and new vantage points from which to view the world. I mean, who needs sleep when there’s a whole world to discover? Similarly the emergence of vocal experimentation and babbling offer new opportunities for bedtime amusement. As the caption notes, Mom might have preferred some rest time, but I loved watching this little one - age three months - working to master new sounds. The good news is that sleep regressions rarely last long. And as frustrating as a vocal performance might be at 3am, remember that these interruptions are important indicators of your baby’s development. This happy little one was shared to IG by mom_s_diary_.

Sorry, no time to sleep: I’ve discovered all these cool new sounds I can make. 🗣️ As infants grow it’s not uncommon for their sleep patterns to be interrupted in association with the achievement of new developmental milestones. These sleep regressions can be especially pronounced in association with big breakthroughs in language and motor development. Learning to roll over and pull to a stand, for example, both offer your little one a whole new set of options in the crib. No longer immobile, now there are new abilities to practice… and new vantage points from which to view the world. I mean, who needs sleep when there’s a whole world to discover? Similarly the emergence of vocal experimentation and babbling offer new opportunities for bedtime amusement. As the caption notes, Mom might have preferred some rest time, but I loved watching this little one - age three months - working to master new sounds. The good news is that sleep regressions rarely last long. And as frustrating as a vocal performance might be at 3am, remember that these interruptions are important indicators of your baby’s development. This happy little one was shared to IG by mom_s_diary_.

Dan Wuori

67,698 views • 1 year ago

“I love you!” By the start of the third trimester, your baby is beginning to absorb sound in the womb - with evidence suggesting they can both identify mom’s voice and the distinct rhythms and patterns of her native language at birth. Knowing that these are among our earliest learnings, don’t be surprised if your little one begins to mimic the musicality of certain words and phrases well before they explode into language near the end of the first year. In fact, this musicality or “prosody” is even displayed in your baby’s cries. That’s right: babies cry with an accent. With all this in mind, check out this little guy (shared to TT by bri_col44), who - at 3 months - sure appears to have said “I love you.” Developmentally, it’s probably a little early for the phrase to be associated with meaning (with our first communicative words typically emerging between 10-14 months), but amazing how well this little one matches mom’s phrasing, even as articulation and understanding are continuing to develop. It all a part of the amazing process of language development. And that’s not to even mention that smile! There’s truly nothing better.

“I love you!” By the start of the third trimester, your baby is beginning to absorb sound in the womb - with evidence suggesting they can both identify mom’s voice and the distinct rhythms and patterns of her native language at birth. Knowing that these are among our earliest learnings, don’t be surprised if your little one begins to mimic the musicality of certain words and phrases well before they explode into language near the end of the first year. In fact, this musicality or “prosody” is even displayed in your baby’s cries. That’s right: babies cry with an accent. With all this in mind, check out this little guy (shared to TT by bri_col44), who - at 3 months - sure appears to have said “I love you.” Developmentally, it’s probably a little early for the phrase to be associated with meaning (with our first communicative words typically emerging between 10-14 months), but amazing how well this little one matches mom’s phrasing, even as articulation and understanding are continuing to develop. It all a part of the amazing process of language development. And that’s not to even mention that smile! There’s truly nothing better.

Dan Wuori

32,265 views • 1 year ago

Is your baby cutting a new tooth? The truth is, it can sometimes be difficult to get a good look. Babies aren’t legendarily cooperative when it comes to exploration of their mouths. But here’s an old trick that might help you get to the bottom of the situation. All you need is a clean glass - and voila! A window on your child’s gums! Teething usually begins with the two bottom incisors - located front and center - typically somewhere between 4 and 7 months of age. But, as with all things child development, teeth can arrive earlier or later in individual cases. Some babies are even born with natal teeth (though this isn’t always an ideal situation, both for the initiation of breast feeding and because these natal teeth often have weak root structures and, if dislodged, pose an aspiration danger… in which case a pediatric dentist may elect to remove them as a precautionary measure). While we’re on the topic of teething, know that the Food and Drug Administration warns against the use of over the counter numbing gels in young children. These products, which often contain a local anesthetics like Benzocaine or Lidocaine, can lead to a rare but serious (sometimes fatal) condition condition called methemoglobinemia, in which the oxygen-carrying capacity of red blood cells is greatly diminished. Instead, massage your baby’s gums with a clean finger or use a firm rubber (solid) teething toy. When did your little one(s) begin teething and what tips and tricks would you offer to help them through the discomfort? This toothy little one was shared to TT by chandler.crigler.

Is your baby cutting a new tooth? The truth is, it can sometimes be difficult to get a good look. Babies aren’t legendarily cooperative when it comes to exploration of their mouths. But here’s an old trick that might help you get to the bottom of the situation. All you need is a clean glass - and voila! A window on your child’s gums! Teething usually begins with the two bottom incisors - located front and center - typically somewhere between 4 and 7 months of age. But, as with all things child development, teeth can arrive earlier or later in individual cases. Some babies are even born with natal teeth (though this isn’t always an ideal situation, both for the initiation of breast feeding and because these natal teeth often have weak root structures and, if dislodged, pose an aspiration danger… in which case a pediatric dentist may elect to remove them as a precautionary measure). While we’re on the topic of teething, know that the Food and Drug Administration warns against the use of over the counter numbing gels in young children. These products, which often contain a local anesthetics like Benzocaine or Lidocaine, can lead to a rare but serious (sometimes fatal) condition condition called methemoglobinemia, in which the oxygen-carrying capacity of red blood cells is greatly diminished. Instead, massage your baby’s gums with a clean finger or use a firm rubber (solid) teething toy. When did your little one(s) begin teething and what tips and tricks would you offer to help them through the discomfort? This toothy little one was shared to TT by chandler.crigler.

Dan Wuori

65,280 views • 2 years ago

This little one has nothing but love for her shadow. 😍 But that’s not how all toddlers react. Young children experience light and shadow from birth. But as they become mobile, their OWN shadows become more and more evident. And this can be a little terrifying. I’ve run across dozens of videos of toddlers scared to death of the kid-shaped apparitions trailing them around. One way to help neutralize this fear is to engage in some proactive shadow play with your toddler. Using a flashlight (or the natural lighting in your home), show off - and discuss - your own shadow on a wall and encourage your child to play along. Demystifying their origins can go a long way toward making shadows commonplace and fun for your child - as they clearly are for this sweet little one. How did/does your toddler react to the sight of their shadow - and how did you help them them gain comfort with it? This terrific video was shared by a parent with the request it remain anonymous. I’m grateful to be able to share it. (If you have interesting video of your own that you’d be willing to share, please let me know!)

This little one has nothing but love for her shadow. 😍 But that’s not how all toddlers react. Young children experience light and shadow from birth. But as they become mobile, their OWN shadows become more and more evident. And this can be a little terrifying. I’ve run across dozens of videos of toddlers scared to death of the kid-shaped apparitions trailing them around. One way to help neutralize this fear is to engage in some proactive shadow play with your toddler. Using a flashlight (or the natural lighting in your home), show off - and discuss - your own shadow on a wall and encourage your child to play along. Demystifying their origins can go a long way toward making shadows commonplace and fun for your child - as they clearly are for this sweet little one. How did/does your toddler react to the sight of their shadow - and how did you help them them gain comfort with it? This terrific video was shared by a parent with the request it remain anonymous. I’m grateful to be able to share it. (If you have interesting video of your own that you’d be willing to share, please let me know!)

Dan Wuori

214,060 views • 3 years ago

Does your toddler call every animal a dog? Or call the moon a ball? Both are examples of a perfectly normal toddler behavior known as overextension. There’s a lot of language to learn as a toddler - and so it’s not uncommon for young children to generalize use of the words they DO know to make up for those they don’t. I loved watching this little guy (shared to IG by LeannePearson and shown here at 26 months) as he measures a chair with a tape measure. “How big is it?” Mom asks. Our hero’s brilliant response: “Thirteen dollars.” It’s a wonderful example of overextension - and window on his growing language development. You’ll note that $13 is not a random or outlandish response. He knows that the situation calls for a quantity and a unit of measure. The word “inches”isn’t a part of his linguistic toolbox just yet… but dollars is. What a clever and telling response! I can’t help but think that in the moments after this video some new vocabulary was introduced. Where does/did your child use overextension to describe things?

Does your toddler call every animal a dog? Or call the moon a ball? Both are examples of a perfectly normal toddler behavior known as overextension. There’s a lot of language to learn as a toddler - and so it’s not uncommon for young children to generalize use of the words they DO know to make up for those they don’t. I loved watching this little guy (shared to IG by LeannePearson and shown here at 26 months) as he measures a chair with a tape measure. “How big is it?” Mom asks. Our hero’s brilliant response: “Thirteen dollars.” It’s a wonderful example of overextension - and window on his growing language development. You’ll note that $13 is not a random or outlandish response. He knows that the situation calls for a quantity and a unit of measure. The word “inches”isn’t a part of his linguistic toolbox just yet… but dollars is. What a clever and telling response! I can’t help but think that in the moments after this video some new vocabulary was introduced. Where does/did your child use overextension to describe things?

Dan Wuori

70,652 views • 1 year ago

Want your child to take an interest in literacy? Remember that in child development you reap what you sow. Daily reading (ideally configured face-to-face) is a wonderful way to plant the seeds of language and literacy with your baby from their earliest days. Not only will reading together substantially boost your child’s vocabulary over time, but it illustrates a powerful lesson: this is something YOU value and enjoy. And as I’ve written a thousand times, your baby wants nothing more than to be just like you. Don’t be discouraged as you get started. Infants have very short attention spans and will initially spend more time attuned to you than the book (hence the face to face), and may seek to explore books first with their mouths (which is why sturdy, laminated board books are a great first choice). Don’t let any of this deter you. Start small. But start. And make reading a part of your daily routine. As this lovely video shared to IG by sophia.s.playroom illustrates, the benefits can be huge.

Want your child to take an interest in literacy? Remember that in child development you reap what you sow. Daily reading (ideally configured face-to-face) is a wonderful way to plant the seeds of language and literacy with your baby from their earliest days. Not only will reading together substantially boost your child’s vocabulary over time, but it illustrates a powerful lesson: this is something YOU value and enjoy. And as I’ve written a thousand times, your baby wants nothing more than to be just like you. Don’t be discouraged as you get started. Infants have very short attention spans and will initially spend more time attuned to you than the book (hence the face to face), and may seek to explore books first with their mouths (which is why sturdy, laminated board books are a great first choice). Don’t let any of this deter you. Start small. But start. And make reading a part of your daily routine. As this lovely video shared to IG by sophia.s.playroom illustrates, the benefits can be huge.

Dan Wuori

41,050 views • 1 year ago

Have a new baby - or love someone who does? You’ll want to keep a special eye on this space, because this week I’m going to talk about infancy’s most critical outcome and how to achieve it. That outcome: Secure attachment. The earliest months of life are a busy time developmentally. Over a period of just weeks, newborns establish important feeding habits, begin to smile and recognize faces, begin developing early forms of receptive and spoken language…the list goes on and on. Each of these developments is hugely consequential. But none holds a candle to attachment. What is it - and why is it important? Attachment involves the establishment of deep relational trust between parent and child. It’s more than just feeding. Or talking. Or playing. Securely attached babies develop a deep and abiding trust that you are (and will continue to be) available and responsive as a caregiver. That you can be relied on to meet their needs and ensure their safety. And that trust makes a world of difference for children. Secure attachment is the bedrock of our long-term mental health… a gift you can give your baby with lifelong benefits. How is it formed? Not surprisingly, through consistency. Be warm. Be responsive. And be there. Over. And over. And over. It’s a big job. (But rest assured it doesn’t require perfection. Parenting is hard enough without that pressure.) This week I’ll unpack four different types of attachment, how you can improve the quality of your own attachment, and how the development of secure relationships with a small circle of key caregivers (parents, grandparents, teachers) can set your child on a path that will support them even as adults. This trusting little one was shared to IG by bebegimlemutluyum.

Have a new baby - or love someone who does? You’ll want to keep a special eye on this space, because this week I’m going to talk about infancy’s most critical outcome and how to achieve it. That outcome: Secure attachment. The earliest months of life are a busy time developmentally. Over a period of just weeks, newborns establish important feeding habits, begin to smile and recognize faces, begin developing early forms of receptive and spoken language…the list goes on and on. Each of these developments is hugely consequential. But none holds a candle to attachment. What is it - and why is it important? Attachment involves the establishment of deep relational trust between parent and child. It’s more than just feeding. Or talking. Or playing. Securely attached babies develop a deep and abiding trust that you are (and will continue to be) available and responsive as a caregiver. That you can be relied on to meet their needs and ensure their safety. And that trust makes a world of difference for children. Secure attachment is the bedrock of our long-term mental health… a gift you can give your baby with lifelong benefits. How is it formed? Not surprisingly, through consistency. Be warm. Be responsive. And be there. Over. And over. And over. It’s a big job. (But rest assured it doesn’t require perfection. Parenting is hard enough without that pressure.) This week I’ll unpack four different types of attachment, how you can improve the quality of your own attachment, and how the development of secure relationships with a small circle of key caregivers (parents, grandparents, teachers) can set your child on a path that will support them even as adults. This trusting little one was shared to IG by bebegimlemutluyum.

Dan Wuori

256,109 views • 2 years ago

Does your toddler call every animal a dog? Or call the moon a ball? Both are examples of a perfectly normal toddler behavior known as overextension. There’s a lot of language to learn as a toddler - and so it’s not uncommon for young children to generalize use of the words they DO know to make up for those they don’t. I loved watching this little guy (shown here at 26 months) as he measures a chair with a tape measure. “How big is it?” Mom asks. Our hero’s brilliant response: “Thirteen dollars.” It’s a wonderful example of overextension - and window on his growing language development. You’ll note that $13 is not a random or outlandish response. He knows that the situation calls for a quantity and a unit of measure. The word “inches”isn’t a part of his linguistic toolbox just yet… but dollars is. What a clever and telling response! I can’t help but think that in the moments after this video some new vocabulary was introduced. Where does/did your child use overextension to describe things? This expert measurer was shared to IG by LeannePearson.

Does your toddler call every animal a dog? Or call the moon a ball? Both are examples of a perfectly normal toddler behavior known as overextension. There’s a lot of language to learn as a toddler - and so it’s not uncommon for young children to generalize use of the words they DO know to make up for those they don’t. I loved watching this little guy (shown here at 26 months) as he measures a chair with a tape measure. “How big is it?” Mom asks. Our hero’s brilliant response: “Thirteen dollars.” It’s a wonderful example of overextension - and window on his growing language development. You’ll note that $13 is not a random or outlandish response. He knows that the situation calls for a quantity and a unit of measure. The word “inches”isn’t a part of his linguistic toolbox just yet… but dollars is. What a clever and telling response! I can’t help but think that in the moments after this video some new vocabulary was introduced. Where does/did your child use overextension to describe things? This expert measurer was shared to IG by LeannePearson.

Dan Wuori

180,773 views • 2 years ago

Your baby thrives on predictability. Specifically, yours. This week I’ve been talking about attachment, which holds long lasting consequences for your child’s mental and physical health (not to mention their cognitive development). Secure attachments in infancy occur when parents’ interactions with their babies are: Warm. Responsive. Safe. And consistently so. I’ve shared lots of important tips in the past. Tips on reading to your child. Tips on play. Tips on language development. But I want to be clear that attachment has nothing to do with the number of toys or books in your home. Or how well you interact most of the time. Attachment is a product of your predictability. It’s how you interact EVERY time. It’s what you teach your child to expect from you as their caregiver. Inconsistency in the way adults interact with children - warm and responsive one day and potentially cold and distracted the next - is detrimental to secure attachment. When children don’t know what to expect from day to day, it creates anxiety. And this activates the body’s stress response systems. Continually. This is one reason that it’s so important for parents to thoughtfully manage their own stress, exhaustion, safety, and mental health needs. When you aren’t at your best for yourself, you likely won’t be at your best for your baby. As an aside, consistency is also why I’ve spoken out about viral social media trends that undermine trust and predictability by inserting chaotic behaviors into the parent-child relationship. Several months ago - if you can believe it - it was unexpectedly cracking open an egg on your child’s forehead. This week it seems to be throwing slices of American cheese at/onto your baby’s head/face. (I wish I was making this up.) While it’s easy for us as to dismiss such behaviors as jokes, to young children they are detrimental for precisely the reason some adults may find them funny: they’re unexpected. But when your otherwise kind and attentive parent randomly acts with callousness - if even for a moment - it breaks a stable pattern. It provides a new data point that suggests you may be warm and caring… but also may not be dependably. And this is precisely what undermines attachment. (The good news is that an otherwise stable attachment is unlikely to be permanently disrupted by one dumb mistake. We all make them. Still… don’t. Just don’t.) Be kind, be responsive, and do it predictably. I’ll never share the kind of videos I described above. In their place, enjoy this warm and secure interaction between storyoferica (IG) and her happy little one.

Your baby thrives on predictability. Specifically, yours. This week I’ve been talking about attachment, which holds long lasting consequences for your child’s mental and physical health (not to mention their cognitive development). Secure attachments in infancy occur when parents’ interactions with their babies are: Warm. Responsive. Safe. And consistently so. I’ve shared lots of important tips in the past. Tips on reading to your child. Tips on play. Tips on language development. But I want to be clear that attachment has nothing to do with the number of toys or books in your home. Or how well you interact most of the time. Attachment is a product of your predictability. It’s how you interact EVERY time. It’s what you teach your child to expect from you as their caregiver. Inconsistency in the way adults interact with children - warm and responsive one day and potentially cold and distracted the next - is detrimental to secure attachment. When children don’t know what to expect from day to day, it creates anxiety. And this activates the body’s stress response systems. Continually. This is one reason that it’s so important for parents to thoughtfully manage their own stress, exhaustion, safety, and mental health needs. When you aren’t at your best for yourself, you likely won’t be at your best for your baby. As an aside, consistency is also why I’ve spoken out about viral social media trends that undermine trust and predictability by inserting chaotic behaviors into the parent-child relationship. Several months ago - if you can believe it - it was unexpectedly cracking open an egg on your child’s forehead. This week it seems to be throwing slices of American cheese at/onto your baby’s head/face. (I wish I was making this up.) While it’s easy for us as to dismiss such behaviors as jokes, to young children they are detrimental for precisely the reason some adults may find them funny: they’re unexpected. But when your otherwise kind and attentive parent randomly acts with callousness - if even for a moment - it breaks a stable pattern. It provides a new data point that suggests you may be warm and caring… but also may not be dependably. And this is precisely what undermines attachment. (The good news is that an otherwise stable attachment is unlikely to be permanently disrupted by one dumb mistake. We all make them. Still… don’t. Just don’t.) Be kind, be responsive, and do it predictably. I’ll never share the kind of videos I described above. In their place, enjoy this warm and secure interaction between storyoferica (IG) and her happy little one.

Dan Wuori

169,588 views • 2 years ago

It never fails. After months of late night feedings and short bursts of sleep, your baby FINALLY begins sleeping through the night… only to begin waking again. What gives? What you’re experiencing is a sleep regression… a small setback in sleep continuity often associated with big breakthroughs in development. As your baby grows as a language user, for example, you may find that they discover 3am is a great time to practice all their new skills. This happy little guy, shared to TT by em_suttles, is a great example. He’s unlocked a cool new vocal trick (at 5 months) and he’s ready to put it to work. While it may not yet look like it, he’s on his way to spoken language. Even more pronounced regressions can coincide with major motor milestones. As your baby learns to sit, roll over, crawl and pull to a stand, their nighttime options in the crib become far more varied. And the temptation to practice them can be strong. The good news is that these sleep regressions are typically pretty short lived. So, bleary-eyed though you may be, do your best to celebrate them for what they are: markers of big steps forward in your child’s development.

It never fails. After months of late night feedings and short bursts of sleep, your baby FINALLY begins sleeping through the night… only to begin waking again. What gives? What you’re experiencing is a sleep regression… a small setback in sleep continuity often associated with big breakthroughs in development. As your baby grows as a language user, for example, you may find that they discover 3am is a great time to practice all their new skills. This happy little guy, shared to TT by em_suttles, is a great example. He’s unlocked a cool new vocal trick (at 5 months) and he’s ready to put it to work. While it may not yet look like it, he’s on his way to spoken language. Even more pronounced regressions can coincide with major motor milestones. As your baby learns to sit, roll over, crawl and pull to a stand, their nighttime options in the crib become far more varied. And the temptation to practice them can be strong. The good news is that these sleep regressions are typically pretty short lived. So, bleary-eyed though you may be, do your best to celebrate them for what they are: markers of big steps forward in your child’s development.

Dan Wuori

39,379 views • 1 year ago

Just because your baby’s eyes are open doesn’t necessarily mean they’re awake. And the same holds true in reverse. Weird, right? During active (or REM) sleep it’s not uncommon for your baby to open their eyes for brief periods, to make noises, and to move their body actively. The (open eyes) phenomenon, known as psychological lagophthalmos, is common in newborns and may be attributable in part to immaturity of their central nervous system. The important thing here is not to be too quick to assume your little one has finished sleeping just because their eyes open. This video is a great example. Baby’s eyes are partially open, but he is in the midst active sleep (which comprises half or more of each newborn sleep cycle). Likewise, there are situations where your child may appear to be asleep, but isn’t. Particularly in bright, noisy, or otherwise overstimulating environments your child may feign sleep (when they are feeling overwhelmed) as a sort of defense mechanism. This is called habituation. And while it may look like sleep it does not provide the same restorative benefits - and often concludes with prolonged periods of crying as a sort of stress relief. Long story short, you can’t always judge your baby’s level of alertness from their eyes alone - so be sensitive and observant in both circumstances. (And if you suspect your baby is habituating due to overstimulation, try to get them to an environment better suited to their needs.) This little one was shared to TT by laura.sunday.

Just because your baby’s eyes are open doesn’t necessarily mean they’re awake. And the same holds true in reverse. Weird, right? During active (or REM) sleep it’s not uncommon for your baby to open their eyes for brief periods, to make noises, and to move their body actively. The (open eyes) phenomenon, known as psychological lagophthalmos, is common in newborns and may be attributable in part to immaturity of their central nervous system. The important thing here is not to be too quick to assume your little one has finished sleeping just because their eyes open. This video is a great example. Baby’s eyes are partially open, but he is in the midst active sleep (which comprises half or more of each newborn sleep cycle). Likewise, there are situations where your child may appear to be asleep, but isn’t. Particularly in bright, noisy, or otherwise overstimulating environments your child may feign sleep (when they are feeling overwhelmed) as a sort of defense mechanism. This is called habituation. And while it may look like sleep it does not provide the same restorative benefits - and often concludes with prolonged periods of crying as a sort of stress relief. Long story short, you can’t always judge your baby’s level of alertness from their eyes alone - so be sensitive and observant in both circumstances. (And if you suspect your baby is habituating due to overstimulation, try to get them to an environment better suited to their needs.) This little one was shared to TT by laura.sunday.

Dan Wuori

77,690 views • 2 years ago

Learning is something you and your baby do together. You can think of the process as happening in three distinct stages, during which skills are transferred gradually from you to your little one: During the first stage, your baby is observing the behavior and skills of others. During the second, they begin to emulate these behaviors - and can find success with the support of a helpful adult (you) or more expert peer (often a sibling). And gradually they internalize these skills and perform them all by themselves. This video is a great example of the shared second phase. Infants explore the world with their mouths. But an important lesson of toddlerhood is that some things are for putting in our mouths, while others are not. This little one knows that we don’t eat the Play-Doh. But it sure is tempting! Watch as he breaks off a piece and brings it to his mouth. As he does his eyes lift and he realizes that Mom is watching - which alone prompts some introspection. He grins broadly, shakes his head and exclaims “No, no, no” - using Mom’s past words to affirm his decision to place the Play-Doh back on the table. Left to his own devices, who knows? But together, without exchanging a word, he managed to make the right choice. As a parent it’s important to remember the key role you play in the learning process. And that extends to your child’s behavior. Self-regulation begins as co-regulation. So be there. This sweet little guy was shared to IG by parentosa.

Learning is something you and your baby do together. You can think of the process as happening in three distinct stages, during which skills are transferred gradually from you to your little one: During the first stage, your baby is observing the behavior and skills of others. During the second, they begin to emulate these behaviors - and can find success with the support of a helpful adult (you) or more expert peer (often a sibling). And gradually they internalize these skills and perform them all by themselves. This video is a great example of the shared second phase. Infants explore the world with their mouths. But an important lesson of toddlerhood is that some things are for putting in our mouths, while others are not. This little one knows that we don’t eat the Play-Doh. But it sure is tempting! Watch as he breaks off a piece and brings it to his mouth. As he does his eyes lift and he realizes that Mom is watching - which alone prompts some introspection. He grins broadly, shakes his head and exclaims “No, no, no” - using Mom’s past words to affirm his decision to place the Play-Doh back on the table. Left to his own devices, who knows? But together, without exchanging a word, he managed to make the right choice. As a parent it’s important to remember the key role you play in the learning process. And that extends to your child’s behavior. Self-regulation begins as co-regulation. So be there. This sweet little guy was shared to IG by parentosa.

Dan Wuori

75,169 views • 2 years ago

When will my child understand the concept of privacy? As newborns, babies are highly dependent on their mothers (in particular) for feeding, comfort, and companionship - so much so that many believe they see themselves and their mothers as part of a single inseparable unit. As they grow, it probably shouldn’t come as a surprise then that the concept of privacy - that mom or dad might actually need a moment to themselves to shower or use the bathroom, for example - is one that takes a little getting used to. This is an age where separation anxiety can be very real for many children. And let’s face it, toddlers also require careful supervision, making the need for time apart especially challenging. So how do you get from Point A to Point B, transitioning from full togetherness to brief/safe periods of privacy? The answer is: gradually. Recognize that early in toddlerhood you may need to bring your baby along, even on certain trips to the bathroom to ensure their own safety. Consider these visits opportunities to begin advancing potty training concepts. The gradual introduction of boundaries, however, is something you can begin early, by extending and naming/explaining this courtesy to your child. Start small. Maybe it’s initially just a few seconds of privacy that you provide first to THEM. Rest assured that this period will soon intersect with your toddler’s own growing (and often fierce) sense of independence - and desire to do things for themselves and on their own. I particularly love this video, posted to TT by michaeleanstewart, because it shows her daughter in a transitional phase of understanding. As the conversation transpires, this sweet little one grasps the idea that mom wants to be able to use the bathroom without an audience. She assists by closing the door with herself still inside, not yet quite understanding that the audience in question is HER. 😀 Too sweet.

When will my child understand the concept of privacy? As newborns, babies are highly dependent on their mothers (in particular) for feeding, comfort, and companionship - so much so that many believe they see themselves and their mothers as part of a single inseparable unit. As they grow, it probably shouldn’t come as a surprise then that the concept of privacy - that mom or dad might actually need a moment to themselves to shower or use the bathroom, for example - is one that takes a little getting used to. This is an age where separation anxiety can be very real for many children. And let’s face it, toddlers also require careful supervision, making the need for time apart especially challenging. So how do you get from Point A to Point B, transitioning from full togetherness to brief/safe periods of privacy? The answer is: gradually. Recognize that early in toddlerhood you may need to bring your baby along, even on certain trips to the bathroom to ensure their own safety. Consider these visits opportunities to begin advancing potty training concepts. The gradual introduction of boundaries, however, is something you can begin early, by extending and naming/explaining this courtesy to your child. Start small. Maybe it’s initially just a few seconds of privacy that you provide first to THEM. Rest assured that this period will soon intersect with your toddler’s own growing (and often fierce) sense of independence - and desire to do things for themselves and on their own. I particularly love this video, posted to TT by michaeleanstewart, because it shows her daughter in a transitional phase of understanding. As the conversation transpires, this sweet little one grasps the idea that mom wants to be able to use the bathroom without an audience. She assists by closing the door with herself still inside, not yet quite understanding that the audience in question is HER. 😀 Too sweet.

Dan Wuori

245,636 views • 3 years ago

Want to prepare your baby for a lifetime of success? Make literacy a priority from the start. Surround your child with spoken and written language. Speak, read, sing. And model reading as a skill - and interest - of your own. (Remember there’s nobody your child wants to emulate more than you.) I love what this family has created, adding literacy to their daily mealtime routines. After each meal, the children hear books read aloud - which is followed by a short period of independent exploration with books. Look at how attentive these little guys are. At this age, start small… even a minute or two at a time can help start a lifetime habit. And never forget that literacy learning begins long before children enter kindergarten. Want them to do well in school? Don’t wait until they get there to begin. Does/did your baby have favorite board books? I’d love to add them to my list. This highly literate lunchtime was posted to IG by zaintwinzz.

Want to prepare your baby for a lifetime of success? Make literacy a priority from the start. Surround your child with spoken and written language. Speak, read, sing. And model reading as a skill - and interest - of your own. (Remember there’s nobody your child wants to emulate more than you.) I love what this family has created, adding literacy to their daily mealtime routines. After each meal, the children hear books read aloud - which is followed by a short period of independent exploration with books. Look at how attentive these little guys are. At this age, start small… even a minute or two at a time can help start a lifetime habit. And never forget that literacy learning begins long before children enter kindergarten. Want them to do well in school? Don’t wait until they get there to begin. Does/did your baby have favorite board books? I’d love to add them to my list. This highly literate lunchtime was posted to IG by zaintwinzz.

Dan Wuori

618,746 views • 3 years ago

Did you know that babies cry with an accent? This week I’ll be focusing on language acquisition during infancy. Yesterday we talked about how newborns enter the world already recognizing the distinct tones of their mothers’ voices, as well as the rhythms and patterns of what will become their native language. And that recognition is not only receptive (the language we hear and understand), but expressive (the language we speak). Which leads us to crying with accent. A study that compared the cries of French and German infants identified distinct patterns their cries - measured as early as the day after their births - that mirror the unique melodies (or prosody) of their native languages. The French infants ended their cries with a lilt that mirrored French, while German infants began their cries with intensity then dropped off at the end, mirroring the vocalizations of their German parents. It’s still more evidence that some basic forms of language learning are influenced by children’s experience (learning) in utero. When it comes to our earliest vocalizations, newborns rely heavily on cries - which often tend to be a bit screechier than they will become in time - alongside gurgles, grunts and squeaks (like those shown in the video here.) But in just a matter of weeks these basic sounds make way for a much broader array of vocalizations. We’ll look at a few of those tomorrow. This new arrival was shared to TT by

Did you know that babies cry with an accent? This week I’ll be focusing on language acquisition during infancy. Yesterday we talked about how newborns enter the world already recognizing the distinct tones of their mothers’ voices, as well as the rhythms and patterns of what will become their native language. And that recognition is not only receptive (the language we hear and understand), but expressive (the language we speak). Which leads us to crying with accent. A study that compared the cries of French and German infants identified distinct patterns their cries - measured as early as the day after their births - that mirror the unique melodies (or prosody) of their native languages. The French infants ended their cries with a lilt that mirrored French, while German infants began their cries with intensity then dropped off at the end, mirroring the vocalizations of their German parents. It’s still more evidence that some basic forms of language learning are influenced by children’s experience (learning) in utero. When it comes to our earliest vocalizations, newborns rely heavily on cries - which often tend to be a bit screechier than they will become in time - alongside gurgles, grunts and squeaks (like those shown in the video here.) But in just a matter of weeks these basic sounds make way for a much broader array of vocalizations. We’ll look at a few of those tomorrow. This new arrival was shared to TT by

Dan Wuori

115,614 views • 2 years ago