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Is your toddler suddenly throwing (or dropping) everything they get their hands on? Food, toys… you name it. You’re not alone. This week I’ve been introducing play schemas, 9 common patterns that can help to demystify your toddler’s seemingly random behaviors. And you guessed it: this is one. We...

168,975 Aufrufe • vor 2 Jahren •via X (Twitter)

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Your baby thrives on predictability. Specifically, yours. This week I’ve been talking about attachment, which holds long lasting consequences for your child’s mental and physical health (not to mention their cognitive development). Secure attachments in infancy occur when parents’ interactions with their babies are: Warm. Responsive. Safe. And consistently so. I’ve shared lots of important tips in the past. Tips on reading to your child. Tips on play. Tips on language development. But I want to be clear that attachment has nothing to do with the number of toys or books in your home. Or how well you interact most of the time. Attachment is a product of your predictability. It’s how you interact EVERY time. It’s what you teach your child to expect from you as their caregiver. Inconsistency in the way adults interact with children - warm and responsive one day and potentially cold and distracted the next - is detrimental to secure attachment. When children don’t know what to expect from day to day, it creates anxiety. And this activates the body’s stress response systems. Continually. This is one reason that it’s so important for parents to thoughtfully manage their own stress, exhaustion, safety, and mental health needs. When you aren’t at your best for yourself, you likely won’t be at your best for your baby. As an aside, consistency is also why I’ve spoken out about viral social media trends that undermine trust and predictability by inserting chaotic behaviors into the parent-child relationship. Several months ago - if you can believe it - it was unexpectedly cracking open an egg on your child’s forehead. This week it seems to be throwing slices of American cheese at/onto your baby’s head/face. (I wish I was making this up.) While it’s easy for us as to dismiss such behaviors as jokes, to young children they are detrimental for precisely the reason some adults may find them funny: they’re unexpected. But when your otherwise kind and attentive parent randomly acts with callousness - if even for a moment - it breaks a stable pattern. It provides a new data point that suggests you may be warm and caring… but also may not be dependably. And this is precisely what undermines attachment. (The good news is that an otherwise stable attachment is unlikely to be permanently disrupted by one dumb mistake. We all make them. Still… don’t. Just don’t.) Be kind, be responsive, and do it predictably. I’ll never share the kind of videos I described above. In their place, enjoy this warm and secure interaction between storyoferica (IG) and her happy little one.

Dan Wuori

169,588 Aufrufe • vor 2 Jahren

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Brian Roemmele

37,681 Aufrufe • vor 1 Jahr

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Coach Hines 🇺🇸

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Tread Athletics

25,070 Aufrufe • vor 8 Monaten

When will my child understand the concept of privacy? As newborns, babies are highly dependent on their mothers (in particular) for feeding, comfort, and companionship - so much so that many believe they see themselves and their mothers as part of a single inseparable unit. As they grow, it probably shouldn’t come as a surprise then that the concept of privacy - that mom or dad might actually need a moment to themselves to shower or use the bathroom, for example - is one that takes a little getting used to. This is an age where separation anxiety can be very real for many children. And let’s face it, toddlers also require careful supervision, making the need for time apart especially challenging. So how do you get from Point A to Point B, transitioning from full togetherness to brief/safe periods of privacy? The answer is: gradually. Recognize that early in toddlerhood you may need to bring your baby along, even on certain trips to the bathroom to ensure their own safety. Consider these visits opportunities to begin advancing potty training concepts. The gradual introduction of boundaries, however, is something you can begin early, by extending and naming/explaining this courtesy to your child. Start small. Maybe it’s initially just a few seconds of privacy that you provide first to THEM. Rest assured that this period will soon intersect with your toddler’s own growing (and often fierce) sense of independence - and desire to do things for themselves and on their own. I particularly love this video, posted to TT by michaeleanstewart, because it shows her daughter in a transitional phase of understanding. As the conversation transpires, this sweet little one grasps the idea that mom wants to be able to use the bathroom without an audience. She assists by closing the door with herself still inside, not yet quite understanding that the audience in question is HER. 😀 Too sweet.

Dan Wuori

245,636 Aufrufe • vor 3 Jahren