Why do some people continually select romantic partners that are fundamentally bad for them? It’s not because it’s “exciting”. Dr Richard Schwartz, founder of internal family systems therapy, explains on the Huberman Lab podcast out now.

Rare clip of Schwartz acknowledging that he is just regurgitating Freud while claiming that he has invented something new.

Why did Two and a Half Men star Angus T. Jones call the show “filth” before leaving it in 2012? Since then, he’s left Hollywood, choosing to focus on his faith and community work. Here's the full story 👇

A mentor of mine once said, and it always stuck with me, "People look for the same story, hoping for a different ending"!

Patterns don’t just repeat… they sustain the illusion of self. Psychology explains the why, but it rarely asks who is watching. The mind loops through attraction, protection, and pain because it identifies with the cycle, mistaking familiarity for truth. The missing piece? You are not just the sum of your patterns. You are the one witnessing them. Until this is seen, healing becomes another maze… understanding, another cage. The real shift is not in fixing what is broken, but in stepping back far enough to see that you were never the pattern at all. But why is it so hard to step back? Because the mind survives through identification. It calls the familiar home, even when home is suffering. It will cling to what it knows, because stepping beyond it feels like dissolving. Even detaching can become a form of attachment…another loop, another struggle against the self. Transcendence is not escape, nor resistance. It is seeing the full game… without running, without clinging. When you stop feeding the pattern, not by fighting or fixing, but by simply witnessing, its hold dissolves. And in that seeing, the cycle breaks… because you were never caught in it to begin with!

Insecurity, low self-esteem, need for affection. Work on yourself, respect yourself, and then move into finding a partner. Explore before above mentioned process, in early stages of development, and establish an understanding for women and human behavior.

Dr Huberman, we need a podcast discussion on ways to remedy from MRNA and potentially myocarditis for people who took the jab and are now having to live with it. This is a huge topic that would help millions. Please and thank you.

Yess, more awareness of IFS therapy!

I'd recommend to watch some hoe_math videos on Youtube and compare it with this... enlightening

asking for a friend

@hubermanlab Partner selection patterns follow attachment theory principles established by Bowlby (1969).

Yep, I realized this a bit too late.. 🙂 and you do change a lot, once you come to this realization