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Mike P

@mikepat711 • 19,225 subscribers

Shitposting, PhD. Meme Researcher.

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It’s 2025. If the car can’t do this, I’m not even coming to the dealership. Those are the facts, and they are big.

It’s 2025. If the car can’t do this, I’m not even coming to the dealership. Those are the facts, and they are big.

3,012,789 views

FSD realizes the car to its’ left dun goofed up/has nowhere to go, anticipates what it needs to do, and slows to let him in. Zoom into the guy’s license plate and read it. Can’t make this stuff up 😂

FSD realizes the car to its’ left dun goofed up/has nowhere to go, anticipates what it needs to do, and slows to let him in. Zoom into the guy’s license plate and read it. Can’t make this stuff up 😂

164,063 views

FSD recognizes the RAV4 needs to merge, but is pinned by the semi, so it tries to slow down to let the RAV4 jump in, but the RAV4 is being a baby about it and not taking the hint. As soon as FSD has the gap it goes for the yeet. 14.2 is way better at handling these sorts of situations where human drivers get stuck in the stalemate if “you go, no you go!” Didn’t used to be the case.

FSD recognizes the RAV4 needs to merge, but is pinned by the semi, so it tries to slow down to let the RAV4 jump in, but the RAV4 is being a baby about it and not taking the hint. As soon as FSD has the gap it goes for the yeet. 14.2 is way better at handling these sorts of situations where human drivers get stuck in the stalemate if “you go, no you go!” Didn’t used to be the case.

244,750 views

FSD does not mindlessly follow lead cars. In this scenario, there are definitely some humans who would’ve just latched on and snuck through behind the lead car. FSD waits for its own visibility and doesn’t assume anything.

FSD does not mindlessly follow lead cars. In this scenario, there are definitely some humans who would’ve just latched on and snuck through behind the lead car. FSD waits for its own visibility and doesn’t assume anything.

87,996 views

The Tesla charging experience is so clunky and such a pain. Who wants to deal with this?

The Tesla charging experience is so clunky and such a pain. Who wants to deal with this?

296,837 views

Mad Max doesn’t have time for your bullshit.

Mad Max doesn’t have time for your bullshit.

51,505 views

Cool moment this morning. FSD goes to stage the exit, sees the royally f’d up road surface, path planner jolts back and waits to stage until we’re past the rough road. I could feel the car beginning to shift before cancelling and waiting until we passed this patch of road.

Cool moment this morning. FSD goes to stage the exit, sees the royally f’d up road surface, path planner jolts back and waits to stage until we’re past the rough road. I could feel the car beginning to shift before cancelling and waiting until we passed this patch of road.

25,676 views

FSD V14.3.1 approaches a routine stop sign, encounters a police officer directing traffic, understands that the officer’s gesture overrides stop sign, does not stop, proceeds through on officer’s gesture. Flawless. I jolted up and almost hit the brake, but was immediately reminded that Tesla is basically shipping AGI at this point.

FSD V14.3.1 approaches a routine stop sign, encounters a police officer directing traffic, understands that the officer’s gesture overrides stop sign, does not stop, proceeds through on officer’s gesture. Flawless. I jolted up and almost hit the brake, but was immediately reminded that Tesla is basically shipping AGI at this point.

33,373 views

FSD V14.3.1 camps the left lane and gets passed on the right by multiple vehicles. So weird to me that despite how intelligent the car is during so many scenarios, it has so much trouble with this very simple thing. I still feel like 14.1 was the best highway iteration ever. 14.3.1 seems overall worse than 14.2.2.5 so far.

FSD V14.3.1 camps the left lane and gets passed on the right by multiple vehicles. So weird to me that despite how intelligent the car is during so many scenarios, it has so much trouble with this very simple thing. I still feel like 14.1 was the best highway iteration ever. 14.3.1 seems overall worse than 14.2.2.5 so far.

26,025 views

I can’t stand Ilhan Omar, really. Sucks so bad. But the people spamming this WW11 post are the same people who bitch about the left constantly doctoring clips/presenting them out of context with the goal of creating false narratives about their opponents. You are doing the same thing. So what’s up? What are we doing here?

I can’t stand Ilhan Omar, really. Sucks so bad. But the people spamming this WW11 post are the same people who bitch about the left constantly doctoring clips/presenting them out of context with the goal of creating false narratives about their opponents. You are doing the same thing. So what’s up? What are we doing here?

29,216 views

Kind of a bummer to see FSD V14.3.2 missing something this simple. In the past, I’ve seen the car understand and react to “turn only” line paint with 100% accuracy, but for some reason it’s just totally missing this. I’ve had it happen in this spot multiple times recently. Plenty of time to see this and react to it too :/

Kind of a bummer to see FSD V14.3.2 missing something this simple. In the past, I’ve seen the car understand and react to “turn only” line paint with 100% accuracy, but for some reason it’s just totally missing this. I’ve had it happen in this spot multiple times recently. Plenty of time to see this and react to it too :/

14,245 views

FSD V14.2.2.3 begins to execute a blind right turn that leads directly toward a one-lane covered bridge. Without any yield signs or prior notice until half way through the turn, FSD recognizes the structure as a one-lane structure and yields with plenty of distance, making sure the bridge is clear of oncoming traffic before proceeding. This behavior did not exist on any version prior to 14. Prior versions would have proceeded unless there was some visible obstruction that entered the vehicle’s path mid maneuver. Here, FSD is preemptively yielding because it understands the infrastructure. It is not reacting to any obstruction. Sentient. Can’t imagine how wild this is going to be in 6-12 months from now. 5 years from now? Real-world AI comin’ in hot.

FSD V14.2.2.3 begins to execute a blind right turn that leads directly toward a one-lane covered bridge. Without any yield signs or prior notice until half way through the turn, FSD recognizes the structure as a one-lane structure and yields with plenty of distance, making sure the bridge is clear of oncoming traffic before proceeding. This behavior did not exist on any version prior to 14. Prior versions would have proceeded unless there was some visible obstruction that entered the vehicle’s path mid maneuver. Here, FSD is preemptively yielding because it understands the infrastructure. It is not reacting to any obstruction. Sentient. Can’t imagine how wild this is going to be in 6-12 months from now. 5 years from now? Real-world AI comin’ in hot.

42,878 views

The hardest part of V14 to explain to people is just how locked in and responsive it is. There is a step change here vs V13. The car is aware and calculating future moves so insanely fast. In this video, watch the moment my speedometer goes from 70 to 69mph. It recognizes the signaling of vehicle in the right lane, and before it even begins its slide into our lane, FSD is slowing to prepare its next move. It’s hard to explain this because you have to be in the car to feel how quickly the car shows you through movement and speed change that it is aware of what’s happening. I felt it even before you see the speedometer move. It’s almost instant. Way faster than humans and V13.

The hardest part of V14 to explain to people is just how locked in and responsive it is. There is a step change here vs V13. The car is aware and calculating future moves so insanely fast. In this video, watch the moment my speedometer goes from 70 to 69mph. It recognizes the signaling of vehicle in the right lane, and before it even begins its slide into our lane, FSD is slowing to prepare its next move. It’s hard to explain this because you have to be in the car to feel how quickly the car shows you through movement and speed change that it is aware of what’s happening. I felt it even before you see the speedometer move. It’s almost instant. Way faster than humans and V13.

50,911 views

V13, snowy roads, & EV Safety in 15 degrees Fahrenheit This was the first day in a while that I got to test FSD on snowy roads. Because I lack experience here, I was VERY cautious, and entered the car thinking I’d be driving manually most of the way. But holy F, what an improvement with version 13. Many roads were covered and blocking visibility; the kinds of roads you need to reference your space by the mounds on each side of the road. No problem for V13. Did it exactly how I would, and slowed down whenever it needed to. I took over a few times on this drive because I am new to testing in snow, but I definitely never actually needed to. Slipped quite a few times, but the car is amazing at finding its’ balance. EVs are so much better at TC from even weight distribution, higher precision motors/regen, and Tesla’s TC system. I am sure there is work to be done in these conditions, but the improvement I’ve seen here leaves no doubt that it’s nothing more than a brain issue. People keep fixating on sensors, and completely underestimate the power of a bigger brain. Every time someone tells me Tesla can’t do it without sensors, I just want to look them in the eye and scream “HOW DO YOU DO IT???” Visible light, two cameras and a brain is how humans have moved through space on 4 wheels forever. Everyone is underestimating a brain with 8 eyes, and it’s so obvious as a user. Tsunami incoming

V13, snowy roads, & EV Safety in 15 degrees Fahrenheit This was the first day in a while that I got to test FSD on snowy roads. Because I lack experience here, I was VERY cautious, and entered the car thinking I’d be driving manually most of the way. But holy F, what an improvement with version 13. Many roads were covered and blocking visibility; the kinds of roads you need to reference your space by the mounds on each side of the road. No problem for V13. Did it exactly how I would, and slowed down whenever it needed to. I took over a few times on this drive because I am new to testing in snow, but I definitely never actually needed to. Slipped quite a few times, but the car is amazing at finding its’ balance. EVs are so much better at TC from even weight distribution, higher precision motors/regen, and Tesla’s TC system. I am sure there is work to be done in these conditions, but the improvement I’ve seen here leaves no doubt that it’s nothing more than a brain issue. People keep fixating on sensors, and completely underestimate the power of a bigger brain. Every time someone tells me Tesla can’t do it without sensors, I just want to look them in the eye and scream “HOW DO YOU DO IT???” Visible light, two cameras and a brain is how humans have moved through space on 4 wheels forever. Everyone is underestimating a brain with 8 eyes, and it’s so obvious as a user. Tsunami incoming

84,649 views

Does your Bluecruise do little efficiency yeets into clear lanes on city streets when right lane traffic is high? It’s a level 2 system which means it’s the same thing as FSD, so it should. Lmk ty

Does your Bluecruise do little efficiency yeets into clear lanes on city streets when right lane traffic is high? It’s a level 2 system which means it’s the same thing as FSD, so it should. Lmk ty

28,860 views

Ran into a truck running an old driving algorithm. FSD is chill about it

Ran into a truck running an old driving algorithm. FSD is chill about it

38,586 views

Been wanting to film one of these because it happens so consistently and highlights a subtle but significant part of the V14 brain. Not only does V14 recognize collapsing lanes way sooner than V13 when it is in them and needs to get out, it also recognizes them when it is not in them, and is aware that vehicles inside of them need to get over. Here’s one of the many times I’ve witnessed V14 keeping space open for cars it knows will have to switch lanes.

Been wanting to film one of these because it happens so consistently and highlights a subtle but significant part of the V14 brain. Not only does V14 recognize collapsing lanes way sooner than V13 when it is in them and needs to get out, it also recognizes them when it is not in them, and is aware that vehicles inside of them need to get over. Here’s one of the many times I’ve witnessed V14 keeping space open for cars it knows will have to switch lanes.

28,008 views

Here’s a great visual example of the jitters we keep talking about. 95% of these moments occur either at a stop sign like this, or at the beginning of executing an unprotected turn. Other than this, I have yet to find one single flaw in driving behavior

Here’s a great visual example of the jitters we keep talking about. 95% of these moments occur either at a stop sign like this, or at the beginning of executing an unprotected turn. Other than this, I have yet to find one single flaw in driving behavior

25,149 views

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FSD V14.3.3 is routed to the Paramus NJ supercharger along my trip. We get to the parking lot, and FSD decides it’d rather go to Raymour & Flanigan for some reason. wtf lol. Why is nav such a massive piece of shit?
0:20
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FSD V14.3.3 is routed to the Paramus NJ supercharger along my trip. We get to the parking lot, and FSD decides it’d rather go to Raymour & Flanigan for some reason. wtf lol. Why is nav such a massive piece of shit?

Mike P

20,884 views • 12 hours ago

TSLA is the worst investment I’ve ever made in my entire life, but here’s their technology flawlessly merging onto a recently augmented highway during sunrise with tons of chaotic line paint/markings.
0:21
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TSLA is the worst investment I’ve ever made in my entire life, but here’s their technology flawlessly merging onto a recently augmented highway during sunrise with tons of chaotic line paint/markings.

Mike P

927,225 views • 1 month ago

Tesla Self-Driving sucks and doesn't work. This compressed video shows 90 minutes of Tesla's V14.2.2.5 moving through the heart of Philadelphia, and back to the suburbs for some errands. As you watch this clip, you'll start to realize that Tesla's goal of autonomy at-scale is very far from here, and probably won't ever actually happen. The entire charade is nonsense. Tesla cars have level 2 ADAS just like SuperCruise and BlueCruise. Yes, your Chevy Silverado does do this. More music by the homie Stainless Steele
8:34
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Tesla Self-Driving sucks and doesn't work. This compressed video shows 90 minutes of Tesla's V14.2.2.5 moving through the heart of Philadelphia, and back to the suburbs for some errands. As you watch this clip, you'll start to realize that Tesla's goal of autonomy at-scale is very far from here, and probably won't ever actually happen. The entire charade is nonsense. Tesla cars have level 2 ADAS just like SuperCruise and BlueCruise. Yes, your Chevy Silverado does do this. More music by the homie Stainless Steele

Mike P

596,560 views • 2 months ago

This is what it’s like to own a Tesla in 2025.
3:21
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This is what it’s like to own a Tesla in 2025.

Mike P

923,693 views • 5 months ago

FSD V14.2.2.5 takes me 415 miles from Raleigh, North Carolina to Philadelphia, Pennsylvania in my Tesla Model Y. Zero interventions. Zero input of any kind to the steering wheel or pedals for this entire day-long drive. When I left, it was 58F and raining. When I arrived home, it was 35F, with snow on the ground. FSD handled heavy rain, light rain, day, night, declining temps, heavy traffic, construction, etc. All flawlessly. Tesla ships the most mind-blowing consumer AI of any kind by far. If you haven't tried FSD V14.2 yet, you should. It's a game-changing experience. Music written and recorded by the Local Philly Homie Stainless Steele. Thanks for letting me use the tracks! They rule.
18:08
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FSD V14.2.2.5 takes me 415 miles from Raleigh, North Carolina to Philadelphia, Pennsylvania in my Tesla Model Y. Zero interventions. Zero input of any kind to the steering wheel or pedals for this entire day-long drive. When I left, it was 58F and raining. When I arrived home, it was 35F, with snow on the ground. FSD handled heavy rain, light rain, day, night, declining temps, heavy traffic, construction, etc. All flawlessly. Tesla ships the most mind-blowing consumer AI of any kind by far. If you haven't tried FSD V14.2 yet, you should. It's a game-changing experience. Music written and recorded by the Local Philly Homie Stainless Steele. Thanks for letting me use the tracks! They rule.

Mike P

381,166 views • 3 months ago

They say Tesla will never deliver autonomy but this is my life every day so you can’t really blame me for thinking you’re an idiot.
3:44
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They say Tesla will never deliver autonomy but this is my life every day so you can’t really blame me for thinking you’re an idiot.

Mike P

67,178 views • 20 days ago

When Tesla owners tell you about how seamless the Tesla experience is, this is what we mean. The raw, unedited experience. And it just goes from the end of this video to your driveway. Open door, buckle seatbelt, press a button on a touch screen.
0:59
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When Tesla owners tell you about how seamless the Tesla experience is, this is what we mean. The raw, unedited experience. And it just goes from the end of this video to your driveway. Open door, buckle seatbelt, press a button on a touch screen.

Mike P

1,156,696 views • 1 year ago

This meme is a modern work of art tbh. Put it in the museum.
1:36
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This meme is a modern work of art tbh. Put it in the museum.

Mike P

463,852 views • 5 months ago

Trying out Tesla’s fake self driving software in some drifty snow!
1:04
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Trying out Tesla’s fake self driving software in some drifty snow!

Mike P

400,206 views • 5 months ago

The layout of this on-ramp has changed 3-4 times in the last month or two as construction works to remove old toll furniture. Every time, FSD has zero problem navigating through the new routing that isn’t map accurate.
0:20
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The layout of this on-ramp has changed 3-4 times in the last month or two as construction works to remove old toll furniture. Every time, FSD has zero problem navigating through the new routing that isn’t map accurate.

Mike P

554,990 views • 9 months ago

This is basically the only part of FSD that is still broken, and really the only place I still disengage. Here I am arriving at my destination. FSD ignores tons of spots to bias toward the pin at the front of the store, and then seems to get itself stuck in a perpetual loop instead of parking. Until I give up and take over. Because of this, I usually just take over at destinations. Can’t wait until this is fixed.
0:37
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This is basically the only part of FSD that is still broken, and really the only place I still disengage. Here I am arriving at my destination. FSD ignores tons of spots to bias toward the pin at the front of the store, and then seems to get itself stuck in a perpetual loop instead of parking. Until I give up and take over. Because of this, I usually just take over at destinations. Can’t wait until this is fixed.

Mike P

212,186 views • 3 months ago

If you want to understand why Tesla fans are losing it daily, it’s because this is the “take a step back and think about it” moment we are having in our cars basically every day since V13 launched. THE WOLF IS IN THE ROOM
0:28
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If you want to understand why Tesla fans are losing it daily, it’s because this is the “take a step back and think about it” moment we are having in our cars basically every day since V13 launched. THE WOLF IS IN THE ROOM

Mike P

575,495 views • 9 months ago

> Own a Tesla > Wake up in a hotel in a city you’ve never been to before > Google “coffee shop nearby” in bed on phone, select “directions,” tap “share,” tap “send to Tesla.” > Get up, shower, pack suitcase. > Get in Tesla, put on seatbelt, tap “start self driving,” sit there and check out the city while your robot drives you through sunrise rush hour/heavy construction. One of the greatest consumer products ever made.
1:55
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> Own a Tesla > Wake up in a hotel in a city you’ve never been to before > Google “coffee shop nearby” in bed on phone, select “directions,” tap “share,” tap “send to Tesla.” > Get up, shower, pack suitcase. > Get in Tesla, put on seatbelt, tap “start self driving,” sit there and check out the city while your robot drives you through sunrise rush hour/heavy construction. One of the greatest consumer products ever made.

Mike P

98,914 views • 1 month ago

Kyle knows. We are so close. Bears so cooked
0:34
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Kyle knows. We are so close. Bears so cooked

Mike P

535,592 views • 9 months ago

Walk up to the car, open the door. No looking for keys, pressing any key fob buttons, nothing. The car senses your presence. Sit down, car already on and ready. Buckle your seatbelt, start your song, press the blue button. Sit back and relax. That’s it.
3:32
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Walk up to the car, open the door. No looking for keys, pressing any key fob buttons, nothing. The car senses your presence. Sit down, car already on and ready. Buckle your seatbelt, start your song, press the blue button. Sit back and relax. That’s it.

Mike P

616,013 views • 1 year ago

I think your wish might be granted soon. The last time I passed through here was on 14.3.1, and FSD went right for this absolute minefield on the way in and out. On 14.3.3, it just intentionally went around on the way in and out.
0:25
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I think your wish might be granted soon. The last time I passed through here was on 14.3.1, and FSD went right for this absolute minefield on the way in and out. On 14.3.3, it just intentionally went around on the way in and out.

Mike P

21,085 views • 15 days ago

Another big 🧠 move by FSD. As lead vehicles pass, FSD does not blindly follow. It waits for clear visibility, and continues to wait patiently until it has sufficient runway to execute the pass safely. V14 understands that humans can’t be trusted.
0:30
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Another big 🧠 move by FSD. As lead vehicles pass, FSD does not blindly follow. It waits for clear visibility, and continues to wait patiently until it has sufficient runway to execute the pass safely. V14 understands that humans can’t be trusted.

Mike P

69,535 views • 2 months ago

FSD bleeds some speed to bait the truck into passing/dances its way into the left turn lane just in time. 14.2 is a smooth operator
0:20
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FSD bleeds some speed to bait the truck into passing/dances its way into the left turn lane just in time. 14.2 is a smooth operator

Mike P

71,444 views • 2 months ago

People keep asking for a visual of what I’m describing. Here!
0:51
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People keep asking for a visual of what I’m describing. Here!

Mike P

229,016 views • 1 year ago

Unusual L here. For some reason FSD read this situation wrong. I actually don’t think I’ve seen it misread one of these moments on any version of 14. I gave it a ton of time to realize what was happening but it refused to pass.
0:35
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Unusual L here. For some reason FSD read this situation wrong. I actually don’t think I’ve seen it misread one of these moments on any version of 14. I gave it a ton of time to realize what was happening but it refused to pass.

Mike P

11,666 views • 11 days ago