I’m learning how to become a wellness influencer 🐍 Here’s my first class.

lollll “I got you guys a discount code.” This is an instant classic, well done!

Hi there, would you be interested in my wellness loop? It works by making a circle on the floor and stepping in it. I promise it's not a luggage strap. It is infact a quantum wellness loop. I am 105% not making this up.

The only reasons you’re making fun of urine therapy is because the smell is gag-inducing, the taste disgusting and there’s no evidence it does anything other than harm.

"I got you guys a discount code" sent me

And never forget, sugar is poison. You should replace it with a "superfood" that coopts a staple of vulnerable people's diet and makes it no longer accessible or affordable

Brilliant.

Every line 🤣 new follower here 👋

well-executed sardonicism. keep up the good work!

@Eris_the_apple When you become an influencer please drop your hair care routine because your hair is gorgeous.

@Eris_the_apple THANK YOU I wish I could say it was something, and then try to sell it, but it's boring genetics!