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Michael Pollan quit caffeine for 3 months… and realized his “normal” self was just caffeinated. First week: “Felt like I contracted ADD. Couldn’t concentrate, couldn’t write, veil between me and reality.” Month 1: Functional but miserable. Month 3: “Slept like a teenager… but I was still a mess.” First...

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932,775 görüntüleme • 4 ay önce •via X (Twitter)

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Michael Pollan quit caffeine for 3 months… and it broke his brain. He couldn’t focus, felt like he had sudden ADD, couldn’t write, and said there was a “veil between him and reality.” He wasn’t himself, because his normal self was caffeinated. The first cup back after 3 months? Pure euphoria, waves of wellbeing, then hyper-productive meth-like cleaning, unsubscribing from emails, and organizing his closet. He realized daily use kills the magic, so he tried limiting it to Saturdays only. This story is wild because it shows how normalized our dependence is. We don’t even realize caffeine is shaping our baseline personality until we step away. In a world running on endless coffee and stimulation, understanding our relationship with caffeine might be one of the simplest ways to reclaim clarity, sleep, and real energy. Have you ever quit caffeine (or tried)? What surprised you most?
7:30

Michael Pollan quit caffeine for 3 months… and it broke his brain. He couldn’t focus, felt like he had sudden ADD, couldn’t write, and said there was a “veil between him and reality.” He wasn’t himself, because his normal self was caffeinated. The first cup back after 3 months? Pure euphoria, waves of wellbeing, then hyper-productive meth-like cleaning, unsubscribing from emails, and organizing his closet. He realized daily use kills the magic, so he tried limiting it to Saturdays only. This story is wild because it shows how normalized our dependence is. We don’t even realize caffeine is shaping our baseline personality until we step away. In a world running on endless coffee and stimulation, understanding our relationship with caffeine might be one of the simplest ways to reclaim clarity, sleep, and real energy. Have you ever quit caffeine (or tried)? What surprised you most?

Camus

102,201 görüntüleme • 2 ay önce

Akathasia is one of the most denied and deadly effects of taking psychiatric drugs. For me, it felt like I was being tasered from the inside of my body. Brain zaps and panic were there 24/7 and it sounded like a jet was landing in my ears, while it felt like the pressure of a jet was pushing me forward. ALL THE TIME. I noticed these side effects early on and when I brought them up to my doctors and therapist, they called them “anxiety” and I was placed on even more drugs to “help,” which was like pouring kerosene onto my brain, already on fire. Now you’re in the system, drugged and any type of drug “side effect” is labeled as your “mental illness.” Akathasia is like a chemical fire in the nervous system where your body feels trapped and your mind can’t find an escape. This isn’t even like normal “drug withdrawal” where you experience waves and windows of relief—it is a 24/7 every second of every day where you get zero relief from it. It’s also one of the leading causes of iatrogenic suicide, where for me, I simply couldn’t take it anymore and was trying to make it stop, It’s not a reflection of a mental illness, it’s a result of a napalm being poured onto your nervous system. And f*ck right off to any pharma reps and doctors who still deny it. Rest in peace Christine.
0:23

Akathasia is one of the most denied and deadly effects of taking psychiatric drugs. For me, it felt like I was being tasered from the inside of my body. Brain zaps and panic were there 24/7 and it sounded like a jet was landing in my ears, while it felt like the pressure of a jet was pushing me forward. ALL THE TIME. I noticed these side effects early on and when I brought them up to my doctors and therapist, they called them “anxiety” and I was placed on even more drugs to “help,” which was like pouring kerosene onto my brain, already on fire. Now you’re in the system, drugged and any type of drug “side effect” is labeled as your “mental illness.” Akathasia is like a chemical fire in the nervous system where your body feels trapped and your mind can’t find an escape. This isn’t even like normal “drug withdrawal” where you experience waves and windows of relief—it is a 24/7 every second of every day where you get zero relief from it. It’s also one of the leading causes of iatrogenic suicide, where for me, I simply couldn’t take it anymore and was trying to make it stop, It’s not a reflection of a mental illness, it’s a result of a napalm being poured onto your nervous system. And f*ck right off to any pharma reps and doctors who still deny it. Rest in peace Christine.

Ali Zeck

110,358 görüntüleme • 9 ay önce

🧸 “how do you feel after getting lasik? is it good?” i’ll tell you guys this! before i got my tonsillectomy, i looked up a lot of vlogs and…a majority of people said that they felt like they were going to die so i was really worried before the surgery but i’m tolerant to pain so it was better than i excepted…my mom always made porridge for me so i ate that well too, ate it for every meal, took my medicines and left the humidifier on so…of course it hurt a bit because i got surgery but it wasn’t that bad 🧸 but after i got my lasik eye surgery, my eyes and nose were running for 6 hours straight and you know how your eyes really hurt when you make eye contact with the sun…like you tear up and your eyes hurt…it was that feeling for 6 hours straight like even if i had my eyes closed, it felt like the sunlight was inside my eyes and i was fighting it for 6 hours straight 🧸 so for the tonsillectomy, i couldn’t eat what i wanted and i couldn’t talk so that discomfort was the thing that was hard…it didn’t hurt but for the lasik eye surgery, my eyes really hurt a lot! the really fascinating thing though is that i was like “mom, this is so hard!!” for 6 hours and then i got tired of it so i fell asleep and when i woke up after 3 hours, i could see the world really well, i was fascinated and was like “mom!! it doesn’t hurt at all anymore and i can see things very well!!”
1:53

🧸 “how do you feel after getting lasik? is it good?” i’ll tell you guys this! before i got my tonsillectomy, i looked up a lot of vlogs and…a majority of people said that they felt like they were going to die so i was really worried before the surgery but i’m tolerant to pain so it was better than i excepted…my mom always made porridge for me so i ate that well too, ate it for every meal, took my medicines and left the humidifier on so…of course it hurt a bit because i got surgery but it wasn’t that bad 🧸 but after i got my lasik eye surgery, my eyes and nose were running for 6 hours straight and you know how your eyes really hurt when you make eye contact with the sun…like you tear up and your eyes hurt…it was that feeling for 6 hours straight like even if i had my eyes closed, it felt like the sunlight was inside my eyes and i was fighting it for 6 hours straight 🧸 so for the tonsillectomy, i couldn’t eat what i wanted and i couldn’t talk so that discomfort was the thing that was hard…it didn’t hurt but for the lasik eye surgery, my eyes really hurt a lot! the really fascinating thing though is that i was like “mom, this is so hard!!” for 6 hours and then i got tired of it so i fell asleep and when i woke up after 3 hours, i could see the world really well, i was fascinated and was like “mom!! it doesn’t hurt at all anymore and i can see things very well!!”

💬

136,859 görüntüleme • 4 ay önce

One of the most powerful moments in this episode. At 28, mark pincus finds himself unemployed (fired by John Malone, Bain, and others), with few prospects. He had big dreams, but the world wasn't cooperating. This is how he turned things around. what "I realized I had nowhere else to fall from this because I just felt like I’d made a lot of bad career decisions and I was washed up early and I just sat there in this temple." It was a good place to sit and think because he didn't know anyone and didn't understand anything. "And I just started writing in a notebook about why my life sucked so badly." This book, a journal he's kept every year that he calls the book of life, allows him to take an accurate accounting of his life and change his mindset through reflection. After writing for hours about how bad his life sucked and all the mistakes he'd made, he focused on one small thing. "I just ended on this one thing: that I smoked cigarettes. I didn’t even smoke smoke. I smoked like one or two a day, a pack a night if I was at a bar on weekends, but I hated it ... I didn’t want to do it, but I kept doing it." He felt like his life was out of control, but this was one thing he could control. "I just was like, if I could do one thing to know that I’m making some positive change in my life, I’m going to quit smoking. So on October 19th, 1994, I did a lifetime quit on cigarettes and then every day for that year after that, that I didn’t smoke, it was something I could feel good about. So I was like, okay, I did something for myself today by not smoking." The wins started to stack. I asked him what he was writing about. What was his process? "At that point, I had no structure or process. I was just writing, and there was so much in me." Was it anger? "It was. I did feel angry and frustrated and I was like, I had all these dreams. I wanted to be an entrepreneur from early on and I was an achiever. I thought I was an achiever, but I was not achieving." He's done the same technique every year: "What it’s done for me and I think it could do for a lot of people is just be strategic about your life, like be thoughtful about, I like to say, what would your future self thank you for doing this year and what wouldn’t?" And that question is the one that really matters. What can you do today that your future self will thank you for? What the book of life did was hold him accountable and force him to make tough decisions that his future self would thank him for.
2:00

One of the most powerful moments in this episode. At 28, mark pincus finds himself unemployed (fired by John Malone, Bain, and others), with few prospects. He had big dreams, but the world wasn't cooperating. This is how he turned things around. what "I realized I had nowhere else to fall from this because I just felt like I’d made a lot of bad career decisions and I was washed up early and I just sat there in this temple." It was a good place to sit and think because he didn't know anyone and didn't understand anything. "And I just started writing in a notebook about why my life sucked so badly." This book, a journal he's kept every year that he calls the book of life, allows him to take an accurate accounting of his life and change his mindset through reflection. After writing for hours about how bad his life sucked and all the mistakes he'd made, he focused on one small thing. "I just ended on this one thing: that I smoked cigarettes. I didn’t even smoke smoke. I smoked like one or two a day, a pack a night if I was at a bar on weekends, but I hated it ... I didn’t want to do it, but I kept doing it." He felt like his life was out of control, but this was one thing he could control. "I just was like, if I could do one thing to know that I’m making some positive change in my life, I’m going to quit smoking. So on October 19th, 1994, I did a lifetime quit on cigarettes and then every day for that year after that, that I didn’t smoke, it was something I could feel good about. So I was like, okay, I did something for myself today by not smoking." The wins started to stack. I asked him what he was writing about. What was his process? "At that point, I had no structure or process. I was just writing, and there was so much in me." Was it anger? "It was. I did feel angry and frustrated and I was like, I had all these dreams. I wanted to be an entrepreneur from early on and I was an achiever. I thought I was an achiever, but I was not achieving." He's done the same technique every year: "What it’s done for me and I think it could do for a lot of people is just be strategic about your life, like be thoughtful about, I like to say, what would your future self thank you for doing this year and what wouldn’t?" And that question is the one that really matters. What can you do today that your future self will thank you for? What the book of life did was hold him accountable and force him to make tough decisions that his future self would thank him for.

Shane Parrish

23,002 görüntüleme • 2 ay önce

Ever wondered why top biohackers swear by creatine—not for gains, but for brainpower? Dr. Rhonda Patrick spilled the details on Mayim Bialik's "The Breakdown" podcast back on July 8, 2025, and this 3:52 clip is still pure fire for anyone chasing peak mental edge. Rhonda doesn't mess around: She takes 10g daily, bumping to 15-20g on rough days like jet lag or early gigs. Her verdict? "It's like speed without the speed. Caffeine without the caffeine." No jitters, just laser focus and resilience. Breaking it down with science: - Your body makes just 1-2g naturally; vegans get zero from food. - Stress and sleep dips torch your stores—creatine refuels the brain's energy engine. - Hit 5g+ for "spillover" benefits: sharper cognition, mood lift, faster bounce-back from fatigue, even hints at anti-aging for the noggin. - Bonus: It supports methylation (think gene tweaks via folate/choline pathways), freeing up resources when life's chaotic. Rhonda's vegan pal story seals it: Started supplementing, then messaged, "I don't need as much sleep, energy's endless—what's happening?!" Rhonda: "You're finally at baseline. Hulk mode activated. Mayim nails the real-world angle: "So many get SSRIs for low energy, fog, no drive... but what if it's just depleted creatine? Biochemistry we can tweak." Not advice, just two PhD powerhouses unpacking studies. Watch below—it's the convo that upgraded my routine forever. Are you already taking creatine for your brain (or about to start)?
3:52

Ever wondered why top biohackers swear by creatine—not for gains, but for brainpower? Dr. Rhonda Patrick spilled the details on Mayim Bialik's "The Breakdown" podcast back on July 8, 2025, and this 3:52 clip is still pure fire for anyone chasing peak mental edge. Rhonda doesn't mess around: She takes 10g daily, bumping to 15-20g on rough days like jet lag or early gigs. Her verdict? "It's like speed without the speed. Caffeine without the caffeine." No jitters, just laser focus and resilience. Breaking it down with science: - Your body makes just 1-2g naturally; vegans get zero from food. - Stress and sleep dips torch your stores—creatine refuels the brain's energy engine. - Hit 5g+ for "spillover" benefits: sharper cognition, mood lift, faster bounce-back from fatigue, even hints at anti-aging for the noggin. - Bonus: It supports methylation (think gene tweaks via folate/choline pathways), freeing up resources when life's chaotic. Rhonda's vegan pal story seals it: Started supplementing, then messaged, "I don't need as much sleep, energy's endless—what's happening?!" Rhonda: "You're finally at baseline. Hulk mode activated. Mayim nails the real-world angle: "So many get SSRIs for low energy, fog, no drive... but what if it's just depleted creatine? Biochemistry we can tweak." Not advice, just two PhD powerhouses unpacking studies. Watch below—it's the convo that upgraded my routine forever. Are you already taking creatine for your brain (or about to start)?

Camus

115,560 görüntüleme • 8 ay önce

Emilia Clarke reveals she hid her first brain hemorrhage from HBO for two weeks so they wouldn't write her out of Game of Thrones "I wrapped the first season of Game of Thrones. But it flipped my life upside down, so I was quite stressed. And we wrapped that in December and February I was in the gym doing a plank and had my first brain hemorrhage" "And then spent the next 2 weeks with my agent trying to not tell HBO until they knew I wouldn't die" "I was in A&E until they worked out what was wrong with me. Then I went to a different hospital and they were plugging me in and I just kept trying to say I've got to go to work. I can't be here. How long is this going to take? And they're like, your brain is bleeding. It's going to take quite some time" "But as soon as I left hospital I had maybe a month and then I was doing press for the first season of Game of Thrones. Still with a bit of morphine" "I was so ashamed that this thing had happened and that the people who had employed me might see me as weak or see me as something that could be broken. It was so like, 'No, fine. Fine. I'm fine'"
1:46

Emilia Clarke reveals she hid her first brain hemorrhage from HBO for two weeks so they wouldn't write her out of Game of Thrones "I wrapped the first season of Game of Thrones. But it flipped my life upside down, so I was quite stressed. And we wrapped that in December and February I was in the gym doing a plank and had my first brain hemorrhage" "And then spent the next 2 weeks with my agent trying to not tell HBO until they knew I wouldn't die" "I was in A&E until they worked out what was wrong with me. Then I went to a different hospital and they were plugging me in and I just kept trying to say I've got to go to work. I can't be here. How long is this going to take? And they're like, your brain is bleeding. It's going to take quite some time" "But as soon as I left hospital I had maybe a month and then I was doing press for the first season of Game of Thrones. Still with a bit of morphine" "I was so ashamed that this thing had happened and that the people who had employed me might see me as weak or see me as something that could be broken. It was so like, 'No, fine. Fine. I'm fine'"

sara

7,573,312 görüntüleme • 1 ay önce

full story of liyu telling sanghyeon about his debut 🩷 🐰 we were calling that time but i got a text saying, “liyu-yah, you have to record next week and it's going to be a bit hectic.” so i was like... what am i going to record? is it for the fanmeeting? a cover? then i asked, “what kind of recording is it?” and then the staff was like, “your album...” 🐰 huh... what's this? and because we were calling, i couldn't resist. the staff told me not to tell anyone yet, but after three seconds i said, “i think i'm gonna debut.” 👤 what was your friend's reaction? 🐰 at first, he was just as flustered as i was. he was like, “huh? you're debuting?” i had to end the call for a bit to go to the office, but i called him back and he was crying? 👤 who? 🐰 sanghyeon... my friend sanghyeon was crying because he was so touched. (...) he's a big F. 👤 if i was liyu's friend and i heard about your solo debut, i'd congratulate you but also be like, “but when am I going to make my debut? when is MY solo coming out?” but he cried! you've got such a good friend! 🐰 but something i found cute was, after crying, he sent me a text later saying, “liyu hyung, congratulations on your debut. i'm so touched and glad that things turned out well for you but there's one thing i'm upset about... i thought i was gonna be the sunbaenim.”
2:21

full story of liyu telling sanghyeon about his debut 🩷 🐰 we were calling that time but i got a text saying, “liyu-yah, you have to record next week and it's going to be a bit hectic.” so i was like... what am i going to record? is it for the fanmeeting? a cover? then i asked, “what kind of recording is it?” and then the staff was like, “your album...” 🐰 huh... what's this? and because we were calling, i couldn't resist. the staff told me not to tell anyone yet, but after three seconds i said, “i think i'm gonna debut.” 👤 what was your friend's reaction? 🐰 at first, he was just as flustered as i was. he was like, “huh? you're debuting?” i had to end the call for a bit to go to the office, but i called him back and he was crying? 👤 who? 🐰 sanghyeon... my friend sanghyeon was crying because he was so touched. (...) he's a big F. 👤 if i was liyu's friend and i heard about your solo debut, i'd congratulate you but also be like, “but when am I going to make my debut? when is MY solo coming out?” but he cried! you've got such a good friend! 🐰 but something i found cute was, after crying, he sent me a text later saying, “liyu hyung, congratulations on your debut. i'm so touched and glad that things turned out well for you but there's one thing i'm upset about... i thought i was gonna be the sunbaenim.”

🥨

67,424 görüntüleme • 8 ay önce

Jared Kushner's best advice: "Constant refinement of association" Surround yourself with high-quality people in everything you do. Once you see what true excellence looks like, you become intolerant of mediocrity. When you have a friend group that consists of elite people, growth, discipline, & continuous improvement become the default. David Senra, of David Senra & David Senra . . . "The best piece of advice that I was ever given came from—one of the best pieces of advice I was ever given came from—Jared Kushner, who’s a good friend. I actually talked to him a few hours ago. And this is also what I’ve told you one of the first times we talked. That’s Ivanka’s husband, right? That is correct. It’s constant refinement of association. And Jared is one of these people where it’s like, he will tell you the truth if he likes you. Well, first of all, he wouldn’t spend time with you if he didn’t like you. But he says stuff to me that, if people heard it, they’d be like, “Damn.” Like, “That might even be rude.” It’s like, no, no, no—he’s a very direct person, but he’s saying that because I know he wants my best interest, and he wants me to do well. And he said—he’s like, “I benefited hugely from your podcast.” So his whole thing is like, he’s seen me in environments where he’s like, “These people are not good enough for you.” He’s just like—like, “You have built one of—” This is what he told me. He’s like, “I know all the elite people in the world. They all listen to your podcast.” And he’s pushed me on a lot of different things, in a very direct but truthful manner. And I think it’s really, really important."
1:06

Jared Kushner's best advice: "Constant refinement of association" Surround yourself with high-quality people in everything you do. Once you see what true excellence looks like, you become intolerant of mediocrity. When you have a friend group that consists of elite people, growth, discipline, & continuous improvement become the default. David Senra, of David Senra & David Senra . . . "The best piece of advice that I was ever given came from—one of the best pieces of advice I was ever given came from—Jared Kushner, who’s a good friend. I actually talked to him a few hours ago. And this is also what I’ve told you one of the first times we talked. That’s Ivanka’s husband, right? That is correct. It’s constant refinement of association. And Jared is one of these people where it’s like, he will tell you the truth if he likes you. Well, first of all, he wouldn’t spend time with you if he didn’t like you. But he says stuff to me that, if people heard it, they’d be like, “Damn.” Like, “That might even be rude.” It’s like, no, no, no—he’s a very direct person, but he’s saying that because I know he wants my best interest, and he wants me to do well. And he said—he’s like, “I benefited hugely from your podcast.” So his whole thing is like, he’s seen me in environments where he’s like, “These people are not good enough for you.” He’s just like—like, “You have built one of—” This is what he told me. He’s like, “I know all the elite people in the world. They all listen to your podcast.” And he’s pushed me on a lot of different things, in a very direct but truthful manner. And I think it’s really, really important."

Molly O’Shea

20,938 görüntüleme • 7 ay önce

Remote Viewer Warns of a Terrifying Coordinated Attack on a Major US City?! Remote Viewer, Daz Smith, looked at April world events and what he got back is potentially concerning... "...So it was large structures, weirdly higher than any of containership. I shouldn't have looked at that a bit more detail, but I didn't. Maybe I just thought it was appropriate, moved it to one side, but definitely large structures." "And it felt like the structures were on fire. So I, you know, asked the question why here? And I felt like there was a ground based attack, that was going to happen in, in, in this city location. And it felt like it was like a bomb attack. And I had, like, this very strong visual of a, white truck or van that might be involved, which I tried to draw here. So the, you know, they had these kind of, modern looking van in front of a, multi-level structure, almost like this, like the entranceway or something of the structure." "So it felt like it was a kinetic event, of lots of explosive energy. It was very loud. There was wide dispersal. Definitely had a terror attack feel. It feels like it was a driven vehicle parts and then detonated, as an act of retaliation. The vehicle fills, larger than a car. Felt very van like, possibly white, possibly have branding on it as well." "...It was strategically positioned, in front of an important structure. The whole thing felt very US based. Just not that weird kind of U.S filled me, getting targets. And I also have a dang tang feel to this as well, so it felt like it was in a large U.S urban city, which gave me the idea of New York. Because maybe because I've been to New York and, you know, just had that, but definitely had an East Coast feel to this..." "...it was definitely driven, implanted..." "...it felt like it was in planning. So they were planning or rehearsing for a future event, which is, you know, what we're looking for, a month ahead. And I had a weird I had a well here, weirdly, of Holy Cross... it starts with fear and panic, and it's like they're just implanting a message.... Trying to timeline this site here. You know, again, this is all very experimental..."
2:09

Remote Viewer Warns of a Terrifying Coordinated Attack on a Major US City?! Remote Viewer, Daz Smith, looked at April world events and what he got back is potentially concerning... "...So it was large structures, weirdly higher than any of containership. I shouldn't have looked at that a bit more detail, but I didn't. Maybe I just thought it was appropriate, moved it to one side, but definitely large structures." "And it felt like the structures were on fire. So I, you know, asked the question why here? And I felt like there was a ground based attack, that was going to happen in, in, in this city location. And it felt like it was like a bomb attack. And I had, like, this very strong visual of a, white truck or van that might be involved, which I tried to draw here. So the, you know, they had these kind of, modern looking van in front of a, multi-level structure, almost like this, like the entranceway or something of the structure." "So it felt like it was a kinetic event, of lots of explosive energy. It was very loud. There was wide dispersal. Definitely had a terror attack feel. It feels like it was a driven vehicle parts and then detonated, as an act of retaliation. The vehicle fills, larger than a car. Felt very van like, possibly white, possibly have branding on it as well." "...It was strategically positioned, in front of an important structure. The whole thing felt very US based. Just not that weird kind of U.S filled me, getting targets. And I also have a dang tang feel to this as well, so it felt like it was in a large U.S urban city, which gave me the idea of New York. Because maybe because I've been to New York and, you know, just had that, but definitely had an East Coast feel to this..." "...it was definitely driven, implanted..." "...it felt like it was in planning. So they were planning or rehearsing for a future event, which is, you know, what we're looking for, a month ahead. And I had a weird I had a well here, weirdly, of Holy Cross... it starts with fear and panic, and it's like they're just implanting a message.... Trying to timeline this site here. You know, again, this is all very experimental..."

Future Forecasting Group

14,822 görüntüleme • 4 ay önce

Robin Williams was sober for 20 years... then one thought in a small Alaskan town undid it all. In this interview, the comedian traces the full arc of his history with addiction: how it started, how he quit the first time, why he relapsed after two decades, and what finally broke the grip for good. It began early in his career, with cocaine. People asked why a man that fast ever needed it. His answer flips the assumption on its head: "I think I did it because it would actually allow me not to talk. It was like, you know, reverse medication... It just kind of shuts you down, which is a, you know, word: self-medication." The first turning point came in the early 1980s. Two things changed his thinking: the death of his friend John Belushi from an overdose, and the news that he was about to become a father. "I remember stopping it on my own because I was about to have a son... You don't want to be like that." On Belushi's death, he says it was the beginning of "thinking outside the box of 'you've got a responsibility and it's more than you'." He quit alone, without help. And it held for 20 years. Then came the relapse. "I was in a little town in Alaska. It wasn't the end of the world, but you can see it from there, and it was like all of a sudden I thought I could drink. It's also that same thought you have if you look off a large building and go, 'I can fly'. And within a week it was like gone." He calls the aftermath a gift: "Now, you know, I realize I can't." The second recovery looked nothing like the first. This time he went to rehab, and he learned why doing it alone had been the harder road. Surrounded by doctors and psychiatrists in treatment, he noticed a pattern: "The more intelligent you think you are, the harder it is to let go. Everything: 'I've got a solution, I'll just drink a little bit'." The lesson he lands on is surrender: "You gotta just say, 'I can't do it'... And then you have to go, 'Nope, you lose, you can't do it. You need help'. And at that point, that's the beginning."
3:07

Robin Williams was sober for 20 years... then one thought in a small Alaskan town undid it all. In this interview, the comedian traces the full arc of his history with addiction: how it started, how he quit the first time, why he relapsed after two decades, and what finally broke the grip for good. It began early in his career, with cocaine. People asked why a man that fast ever needed it. His answer flips the assumption on its head: "I think I did it because it would actually allow me not to talk. It was like, you know, reverse medication... It just kind of shuts you down, which is a, you know, word: self-medication." The first turning point came in the early 1980s. Two things changed his thinking: the death of his friend John Belushi from an overdose, and the news that he was about to become a father. "I remember stopping it on my own because I was about to have a son... You don't want to be like that." On Belushi's death, he says it was the beginning of "thinking outside the box of 'you've got a responsibility and it's more than you'." He quit alone, without help. And it held for 20 years. Then came the relapse. "I was in a little town in Alaska. It wasn't the end of the world, but you can see it from there, and it was like all of a sudden I thought I could drink. It's also that same thought you have if you look off a large building and go, 'I can fly'. And within a week it was like gone." He calls the aftermath a gift: "Now, you know, I realize I can't." The second recovery looked nothing like the first. This time he went to rehab, and he learned why doing it alone had been the harder road. Surrounded by doctors and psychiatrists in treatment, he noticed a pattern: "The more intelligent you think you are, the harder it is to let go. Everything: 'I've got a solution, I'll just drink a little bit'." The lesson he lands on is surrender: "You gotta just say, 'I can't do it'... And then you have to go, 'Nope, you lose, you can't do it. You need help'. And at that point, that's the beginning."

History Nerd

258,959 görüntüleme • 24 gün önce

jihoon’s tmap behind the scenes and why he slept in jaehyuk and haruto’s room 😹 🐶 why did I sleep in Jaehyuk and Ruto’s room? first of all, because it was fun. when I went to the room, it was around 1AM? 2 AM? we were all playing games together like Liar and Mafia until really late around 1-2 am. 🐶 after that, we all brushed our teeth. I was feeling a bit hot, so I went outside for some fresh air and then came back in, but Junghwan and Junkyu were already basically ready to sleep. like so close to actually going to bed. 🐶 but I still wasn’t sleepy at all. the room was small, so if I used my phone on the bed, the light would bother everyone. I lay down for a bit, but it felt like they couldn’t sleep because of me, and they were just being cautious 🐶 so I told Junghwan and Junkyu “you guys sleep on the bed, I’ll go sleep in the next room. I think I’ll sleep late, and you might not be able to sleep because of me.” 🐶 I just went to the next room without asking for permission. when I went in, the guys really didn’t like it at first. but honestly, if you only watch the edited version, it does look kind of harsh 🐶 at first, Jaehyuk and Ruto were kind of against it, but then the 3 of us ended up watching baseball and having fun. SO! in the beginning they were against it, in the middle we were having fun together. and at the end, when they were trying to sleep, i kept wanting to joke around, so I teased them a lot 🐶 those parts of me joking around at the end were shown a lot. bc that day, Hyunsuk hyung and Doyoung slept early, Yoshi slept too, and so did Jeongwoo and Asahi. the only ones awake were Watanabe Haruto and Yoon Jaehyuk. 🐶 when I first went in I was like, “whatever im not asking for permission”. I just went in cause why do I need permission? it’s just us. then we hung out, watched baseball, talked about random stuff, and had fun 🐶 when it was time to sleep, they were like 🦁🦋 hyung, let’s sleep now 🐶 so I said okay, but once the lights were off, I just really wanted to mess around, so I kept joking and had fun
3:22

jihoon’s tmap behind the scenes and why he slept in jaehyuk and haruto’s room 😹 🐶 why did I sleep in Jaehyuk and Ruto’s room? first of all, because it was fun. when I went to the room, it was around 1AM? 2 AM? we were all playing games together like Liar and Mafia until really late around 1-2 am. 🐶 after that, we all brushed our teeth. I was feeling a bit hot, so I went outside for some fresh air and then came back in, but Junghwan and Junkyu were already basically ready to sleep. like so close to actually going to bed. 🐶 but I still wasn’t sleepy at all. the room was small, so if I used my phone on the bed, the light would bother everyone. I lay down for a bit, but it felt like they couldn’t sleep because of me, and they were just being cautious 🐶 so I told Junghwan and Junkyu “you guys sleep on the bed, I’ll go sleep in the next room. I think I’ll sleep late, and you might not be able to sleep because of me.” 🐶 I just went to the next room without asking for permission. when I went in, the guys really didn’t like it at first. but honestly, if you only watch the edited version, it does look kind of harsh 🐶 at first, Jaehyuk and Ruto were kind of against it, but then the 3 of us ended up watching baseball and having fun. SO! in the beginning they were against it, in the middle we were having fun together. and at the end, when they were trying to sleep, i kept wanting to joke around, so I teased them a lot 🐶 those parts of me joking around at the end were shown a lot. bc that day, Hyunsuk hyung and Doyoung slept early, Yoshi slept too, and so did Jeongwoo and Asahi. the only ones awake were Watanabe Haruto and Yoon Jaehyuk. 🐶 when I first went in I was like, “whatever im not asking for permission”. I just went in cause why do I need permission? it’s just us. then we hung out, watched baseball, talked about random stuff, and had fun 🐶 when it was time to sleep, they were like 🦁🦋 hyung, let’s sleep now 🐶 so I said okay, but once the lights were off, I just really wanted to mess around, so I kept joking and had fun

shan

47,449 görüntüleme • 3 ay önce

Shia LaBeouf reveals he loaded a gun and sat at his table ready to kill himself after reading an email that told him his career was over “When it landed I forgot how to breathe, because the email, the subtext of the email was your hustle's over.” “And I forgot how to breathe, and the next thing I did after two minutes of sitting there looking at staring at a computer screen was I went and loaded up a gun and sat at my table and was gonna kill myself. I was out of here. I didn't know what to do anymore, like all my ideas had failed.” “And there were no options. It was like there was nowhere to go.” “People driving down the street rolling down the window like f*** off and die, you know, this is where I was in the early days of this s***.” “I wound up signing on to this meeting and I heard one of the dudes who was speaking that night say: if you're new and you just entered, you don't have everything you want right now, but you got everything you need right now. Now.” “And he did that for like two minutes. And the first minute I'm thinking you can't spend the whole rest of your share just snapping your fingers and saying 'now' — like this s*** is ludicrous.” “And after two minutes, like, I felt like a giggle start to rise inside of me and I felt something like presence. I stopped thinking about the email, stopped thinking about my hustle. The gun almost disappeared.”
2:57

Shia LaBeouf reveals he loaded a gun and sat at his table ready to kill himself after reading an email that told him his career was over “When it landed I forgot how to breathe, because the email, the subtext of the email was your hustle's over.” “And I forgot how to breathe, and the next thing I did after two minutes of sitting there looking at staring at a computer screen was I went and loaded up a gun and sat at my table and was gonna kill myself. I was out of here. I didn't know what to do anymore, like all my ideas had failed.” “And there were no options. It was like there was nowhere to go.” “People driving down the street rolling down the window like f*** off and die, you know, this is where I was in the early days of this s***.” “I wound up signing on to this meeting and I heard one of the dudes who was speaking that night say: if you're new and you just entered, you don't have everything you want right now, but you got everything you need right now. Now.” “And he did that for like two minutes. And the first minute I'm thinking you can't spend the whole rest of your share just snapping your fingers and saying 'now' — like this s*** is ludicrous.” “And after two minutes, like, I felt like a giggle start to rise inside of me and I felt something like presence. I stopped thinking about the email, stopped thinking about my hustle. The gun almost disappeared.”

ramagazzi

642,619 görüntüleme • 1 ay önce

👤i thought that story was really cute…that you kissed each other to catch the flu 👤 this really feels like ‘divorce camp’ (*tv show); how did this come about? 🐰 it was probably right before the debut line up was decided, right? 🦊 yeah 🐰 it was the end of the year and it was a hard time for all the trainees…nobody could sleep or eat…and the flu was really going around at the time so a couple of people got to sit out of it…yeonjun hyung was one of them and i really wanted to sit out of it too because it means you can rest so as a joke, i rubbed against hyung and was like “hyung~ pass your flu onto me~” but the next day, i was shedding tears of blood because i was so sick 👤🤣 “shedding tears of blood” 🐰 it was the first time i got that sick, my body hurt so much, it felt like it would shatter….but the other members…something that made me feel really unfair was that if the other members were like “i feel like i caught the flu”, the dance teacher would be “okay okay, go home and rest” but starting from me, they started stopping us like “leave after you do this! finish this and then go!”…after the dance lesson, i looked like i was about to die so the dance teacher was like “this is not it, you should go home too” so on my way back to the dorm, i was sobbing like crazy because i was so sad like “why didn’t they let me sit it out 😭” because i was so sick…! 👤 so did it pass on to you when you were like “hyung, pass it onto me~” 🐰 probably..i wasn’t in contact with anyone else that got it and i was only like that with yeonjun hyung so i think it probably passed on then
1:27

👤i thought that story was really cute…that you kissed each other to catch the flu 👤 this really feels like ‘divorce camp’ (*tv show); how did this come about? 🐰 it was probably right before the debut line up was decided, right? 🦊 yeah 🐰 it was the end of the year and it was a hard time for all the trainees…nobody could sleep or eat…and the flu was really going around at the time so a couple of people got to sit out of it…yeonjun hyung was one of them and i really wanted to sit out of it too because it means you can rest so as a joke, i rubbed against hyung and was like “hyung~ pass your flu onto me~” but the next day, i was shedding tears of blood because i was so sick 👤🤣 “shedding tears of blood” 🐰 it was the first time i got that sick, my body hurt so much, it felt like it would shatter….but the other members…something that made me feel really unfair was that if the other members were like “i feel like i caught the flu”, the dance teacher would be “okay okay, go home and rest” but starting from me, they started stopping us like “leave after you do this! finish this and then go!”…after the dance lesson, i looked like i was about to die so the dance teacher was like “this is not it, you should go home too” so on my way back to the dorm, i was sobbing like crazy because i was so sad like “why didn’t they let me sit it out 😭” because i was so sick…! 👤 so did it pass on to you when you were like “hyung, pass it onto me~” 🐰 probably..i wasn’t in contact with anyone else that got it and i was only like that with yeonjun hyung so i think it probably passed on then

💬

164,637 görüntüleme • 4 ay önce

Andrew Huberman described the worst morning routine in five steps. Stay in bed, recline, skip sunlight, drink coffee too early, multitask. Every one of them targets the same 30-minute neural event. Between minute 0 and 60 after waking, your body runs the cortisol awakening response. A healthy pulse lifts cortisol by about 50%, sets a 14-to-16 hour timer for melatonin release, primes immune function, and anchors alertness for the whole day. Miss the window and your circadian clock drifts until you go back to sleep. The rest of the day runs at 70%. Sunlight is the trigger. Light has to hit melanopsin cells at the bottom of your retina to signal the suprachiasmatic nucleus to fire cortisol. Through a glass window you need 50 times longer. A phone screen is hundreds of times too dim to count. Curtains closed plus head down means the pathway never activates. The pulse either never fires or fires weakly, with effects rippling across the next 16 hours. Reclining kills the second lever. Studies recording directly from the locus coeruleus and the reticular activating system show alertness drops with reclining and rises with sitting forward. Those melanopsin cells sit in the bottom of your retina for a reason. They evolved to see the sun overhead. Chin down, eyes down, horizontal body: the brainstem reads this signal set as "still asleep" and keeps you in sleep-adjacent arousal for hours. Coffee at minute 10 kills the third. Adenosine is the sleep pressure molecule cleared by that cortisol pulse. Caffeine blocks adenosine receptors before cortisol gets the chance to clear them naturally. Two to three hours later the caffeine metabolizes, uncleared adenosine floods the receptors all at once, and you crash at 11am. Drink a second cup to patch the crash and you've shifted your cortisol peak four hours late. Which means your melatonin shifts too. Which means you can't sleep that night. Phone scrolling kills the fourth. Morning dopamine baseline is the lowest it will be all day. Ten minutes of feed delivers hundreds of micro-rewards before breakfast is ready. You've spent peak dopamine on algorithm-selected stimuli. Every real task in the workday that follows registers as a downgrade against that baseline. Multitasking kills the fifth. The prefrontal cortex boots last after waking. Task-switching between texts, emails, and random notifications during the boot window trains the attention network to run fragmented all day. Sophie Leroy's 2009 attention residue research showed each switch leaves cognitive spillover that degrades the next task. Start the morning with 20 switches and focus is a rented asset for the next 12 hours. Five random-looking habits, five targeted attacks on the same mechanism. Light triggers the pulse. Posture amplifies it. Caffeine cooperates with it. Dopamine protects what it builds. Focus compounds what it anchors. 20 minutes outside with your phone in the other room fixes all five at once.
3:12

Andrew Huberman described the worst morning routine in five steps. Stay in bed, recline, skip sunlight, drink coffee too early, multitask. Every one of them targets the same 30-minute neural event. Between minute 0 and 60 after waking, your body runs the cortisol awakening response. A healthy pulse lifts cortisol by about 50%, sets a 14-to-16 hour timer for melatonin release, primes immune function, and anchors alertness for the whole day. Miss the window and your circadian clock drifts until you go back to sleep. The rest of the day runs at 70%. Sunlight is the trigger. Light has to hit melanopsin cells at the bottom of your retina to signal the suprachiasmatic nucleus to fire cortisol. Through a glass window you need 50 times longer. A phone screen is hundreds of times too dim to count. Curtains closed plus head down means the pathway never activates. The pulse either never fires or fires weakly, with effects rippling across the next 16 hours. Reclining kills the second lever. Studies recording directly from the locus coeruleus and the reticular activating system show alertness drops with reclining and rises with sitting forward. Those melanopsin cells sit in the bottom of your retina for a reason. They evolved to see the sun overhead. Chin down, eyes down, horizontal body: the brainstem reads this signal set as "still asleep" and keeps you in sleep-adjacent arousal for hours. Coffee at minute 10 kills the third. Adenosine is the sleep pressure molecule cleared by that cortisol pulse. Caffeine blocks adenosine receptors before cortisol gets the chance to clear them naturally. Two to three hours later the caffeine metabolizes, uncleared adenosine floods the receptors all at once, and you crash at 11am. Drink a second cup to patch the crash and you've shifted your cortisol peak four hours late. Which means your melatonin shifts too. Which means you can't sleep that night. Phone scrolling kills the fourth. Morning dopamine baseline is the lowest it will be all day. Ten minutes of feed delivers hundreds of micro-rewards before breakfast is ready. You've spent peak dopamine on algorithm-selected stimuli. Every real task in the workday that follows registers as a downgrade against that baseline. Multitasking kills the fifth. The prefrontal cortex boots last after waking. Task-switching between texts, emails, and random notifications during the boot window trains the attention network to run fragmented all day. Sophie Leroy's 2009 attention residue research showed each switch leaves cognitive spillover that degrades the next task. Start the morning with 20 switches and focus is a rented asset for the next 12 hours. Five random-looking habits, five targeted attacks on the same mechanism. Light triggers the pulse. Posture amplifies it. Caffeine cooperates with it. Dopamine protects what it builds. Focus compounds what it anchors. 20 minutes outside with your phone in the other room fixes all five at once.

Aakash Gupta

305,989 görüntüleme • 3 ay önce

This is why Charlie Kirk still won “Charlie Kirk's death made me pick up a Bible for the first time in my life” “I never ever opened a Bible before. In fact, I know nothing about Christianity or Jesus. But yesterday, after witnessing the assassination of Charlie Kirk on the internet, and it just being so normal to people, like watching this man get shot in the neck and everybody being so desensitized and just going on with life like it was normal. Something was calling me to my husband's Bible.” “I don't know how I feel. But for the very first time yesterday, I grabbed the Bible. I don't know what I'm looking for in the Bible. I don't know why I felt like I needed to grab the Bible. But I grabbed my husband's Bible, and the page that I opened up to was the verse John 8:32. And it said, Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free. And I feel like that changed me so much because up until yesterday, I leaned both ways politically.” “I am convinced that the Democratic Party is ran by the devil himself — But I feel like Charlie's death, Charlie Kirk's death, woke me up spiritually and now, I can't unsee the truth.”
2:48

This is why Charlie Kirk still won “Charlie Kirk's death made me pick up a Bible for the first time in my life” “I never ever opened a Bible before. In fact, I know nothing about Christianity or Jesus. But yesterday, after witnessing the assassination of Charlie Kirk on the internet, and it just being so normal to people, like watching this man get shot in the neck and everybody being so desensitized and just going on with life like it was normal. Something was calling me to my husband's Bible.” “I don't know how I feel. But for the very first time yesterday, I grabbed the Bible. I don't know what I'm looking for in the Bible. I don't know why I felt like I needed to grab the Bible. But I grabbed my husband's Bible, and the page that I opened up to was the verse John 8:32. And it said, Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free. And I feel like that changed me so much because up until yesterday, I leaned both ways politically.” “I am convinced that the Democratic Party is ran by the devil himself — But I feel like Charlie's death, Charlie Kirk's death, woke me up spiritually and now, I can't unsee the truth.”

Wall Street Apes

1,220,128 görüntüleme • 11 ay önce

WILLIAMEST PRESSTOUR #WilliamEstFanconPressTour #Flex1045xWilliamEstFANCON 🎤: was there ever a moment when you were deeply touched by something he did but never told him? 🦈: actually, i can think of two things: one work-related and one personal. on the personal side, ever since we first met during songkran last year, i was out partying, right? and i went to sleep at his place. at the time, he couldn’t go out yet cause he wasn’t of age. but like, it was 3 a.m. and he still came down to pick me up even though he had already gone to sleep. and we had just met. i felt really touched. 🎸: at the time we went out together and i wasn’t old enough to go party, so i just went to some place that kids could go in during the day. then i went home to sleep and phi went out partying. 🦈: yes and i didn’t just stay for one night. i stayed like three nights, didn’t even book a hotel, just stayed at nong place. 🎸: and my eyes were like 😵‍💫 🦈: i started to feel bad. do you know what i did in return? 🤣 🎤: what did you do? 🎸: no, because i had to go downstairs, press the elevator, do a bunch of stuff, so i had to wake up. i went down to pick him up and he was just sitting there on the floor 🤣 🎤: sitting on the floor waiting? 🎸: yes, just sitting and resting there, waiting for me to come down. so we went back up. help him upstairs. not that i helped him up, he could walk by himself 🤣 then i went to bed and from my room, if the door wasn’t fully closed, you could see the sink. i’m the type who eats and washes dishes later. 🎤: you soak them first so they’re easier to clean later? 🎸: yes and then i saw him standing there at 3 a.m. doing the dishes 😭 🎤: washing dishes at 3 a.m.? 🎸: yes 😭 i was like, why did he do that? like it was fine, seriously. it wasn’t a big deal. but maybe he felt a bit guilty or something. but for me, i literally set an alarm, like, “okay, he’ll probably be back around this time,” so i set it and went down to get him. 🎤: maybe that was his version of saying thank you, right? 🦈: yes and the thing is, he never even told me that he saw me! like, i knew he’d probably fallen asleep or something, so i left the door cracked open because the lights were off just in case he could see. and yeah, turns out he did see. but he only told me months later, like way after songkran. 🎤: so he only just revealed now that he saw you washing the dishes? 🦈: i only found out because he teased me later, like, “you’ll end up washing dishes again soon” 🤣 that was how he teased. and back then i genuinely felt a bit bad, so i just wanted to do something to give back a little. and looking back, it’s so funny. 🦈: and then in thamepo, there was literally a dishwashing scene, so i joked like, “guess i can’t escape doing dishes for real.” 🤣
3:15

WILLIAMEST PRESSTOUR #WilliamEstFanconPressTour #Flex1045xWilliamEstFANCON 🎤: was there ever a moment when you were deeply touched by something he did but never told him? 🦈: actually, i can think of two things: one work-related and one personal. on the personal side, ever since we first met during songkran last year, i was out partying, right? and i went to sleep at his place. at the time, he couldn’t go out yet cause he wasn’t of age. but like, it was 3 a.m. and he still came down to pick me up even though he had already gone to sleep. and we had just met. i felt really touched. 🎸: at the time we went out together and i wasn’t old enough to go party, so i just went to some place that kids could go in during the day. then i went home to sleep and phi went out partying. 🦈: yes and i didn’t just stay for one night. i stayed like three nights, didn’t even book a hotel, just stayed at nong place. 🎸: and my eyes were like 😵‍💫 🦈: i started to feel bad. do you know what i did in return? 🤣 🎤: what did you do? 🎸: no, because i had to go downstairs, press the elevator, do a bunch of stuff, so i had to wake up. i went down to pick him up and he was just sitting there on the floor 🤣 🎤: sitting on the floor waiting? 🎸: yes, just sitting and resting there, waiting for me to come down. so we went back up. help him upstairs. not that i helped him up, he could walk by himself 🤣 then i went to bed and from my room, if the door wasn’t fully closed, you could see the sink. i’m the type who eats and washes dishes later. 🎤: you soak them first so they’re easier to clean later? 🎸: yes and then i saw him standing there at 3 a.m. doing the dishes 😭 🎤: washing dishes at 3 a.m.? 🎸: yes 😭 i was like, why did he do that? like it was fine, seriously. it wasn’t a big deal. but maybe he felt a bit guilty or something. but for me, i literally set an alarm, like, “okay, he’ll probably be back around this time,” so i set it and went down to get him. 🎤: maybe that was his version of saying thank you, right? 🦈: yes and the thing is, he never even told me that he saw me! like, i knew he’d probably fallen asleep or something, so i left the door cracked open because the lights were off just in case he could see. and yeah, turns out he did see. but he only told me months later, like way after songkran. 🎤: so he only just revealed now that he saw you washing the dishes? 🦈: i only found out because he teased me later, like, “you’ll end up washing dishes again soon” 🤣 that was how he teased. and back then i genuinely felt a bit bad, so i just wanted to do something to give back a little. and looking back, it’s so funny. 🦈: and then in thamepo, there was literally a dishwashing scene, so i joked like, “guess i can’t escape doing dishes for real.” 🤣

𝑛𝑎𝑛𝑎 ◡̈

73,933 görüntüleme • 1 yıl önce

Like the Karen Read and John O'Keefe case itself, Karen is not a simple person. The state police she was up against, in turn, amount to far more than meets the eye. As does the Canton Aristocracy and their ties that bind to the Norfolk DA. Here's my 2025 view of Karen, and Grok's overview of same. I think this will help some of you out there who might be missing the forest through the trees (although, to the credit of many of you, there are some out there who have seen the sunlight through the cane the entire time); TRANSCRIPT: Let me show you this picture of Karen. It's a really fucking good picture. It's probably the best picture I ever took of her. I mean, it's one that, like, for my entire life I will remember. And someone asked in hindsight if it would change my perspective. I think it would have made me be a lot kinder to her in my questions. Like, that's the one thing I kind of regret. Like, I was a dick to her without realizing what she had went through. Like, I feel bad about that. I'm not saying that John's family didn't go through a lot. I think everyone agrees that they did as well. Okay. And the witnesses. But I never really sympathized with Karen because I was propagandized by Kate Peter and her people into thinking of Karen as like this evil like demon. But that's not really what Karen is. That's like what people did to Lindsey. Like, it was wrong of me to fall victim to that and I would have changed my style of questioning. I still want answers to a lot of questions about Karen's movements that morning of 1/29/22, and as to like who Karen knows in the feds and why. And there's a lot of stuff I want to know. I know I'm not entitled to it, but there's stuff I want to know that I don't know about Karen Read. I just wouldn't have been so like mean to her in the questions. Like, I didn't need to do that. That there was no reason for it. Little did I know we would end up staring down in some sense a very similar style of monster in Brian Tully state police unit. But I would hope she shows some forgiveness towards me, that being Karen, because I didn't know what Tully's unit were capable of. Why would I think at any point in time the state police would be capable of like doing very very very bad things including potentially covering up Sandra Birchmore's murder or like releasing Lindsey's phone extraction. I just didn't know. So yeah, that's all. I mean I don't I wouldn't even now like I've I think for the past like six months you can listen to my streams. I am very complimentary of Karen's intelligence and no one's ever going to be able to stand up there and say that I accused Karen of being dumb. Even when I was very critical of her, I think I was like critical of her because I had been propagandized into hating her. I was never critical of her strategy, her intelligence, her anything. Like I was I just tried not to be derogatory. Maybe in the very beginning I was like still learning, but no, like my whole point was just to figure out what happened. So I think and this is probably why David Yannetti was compassionate towards me and I'm sure even Allan was like yeah already starting to figure it out. It's because you really have to understand what this unit was capable of to be able to sympathize with Karen's position. There are people who support Karen because of their views on the facts. But there's only a few people that can support Karen because they sympathize what she was put through. I think even I didn't listen to her full interview the other night. We can listen to some clips of it. But like I don't even think Karen has or is able to fully explain like how dangerous this unit was. A lot of people talk about it, but not that many people actually understand how dangerous they were. And by the way, I'm looking for this picture of Karen. Joy says, "We all make mistakes. It takes a bigger person to admit things." Sure. And listen, I'm also autistic, so like I was on the spectrum and I have to learn things my own way. I don't know if Karen's similar or whatever. Maybe Aiden's similar. You can't just be like, "Grant, I want you to believe something." Like, "No, bro. Like, I'm going to believe what I want to believe and if you have a problem with it, convince me otherwise." Like, I'm not just going to do it cuz you tell me. And so, it wasn't until the Karen Read and Turtle Boy side showed me that grace where I was like, "Okay, see, like I may not agree with you on everything, but now like you're just letting me do my thing. Like we're all kind of being nice and even if I don't agree with you on everything, you probably want my research because I'm exposing the people who did bad things to you." And then everyone was like, "Okay, that's cool." Which that's all I was ever doing to begin with. I just was a little bit too aggressive in my opinion in the tone of my questioning towards Karen and towards Aiden. I still the jury is still out on Aiden, but and he said some very mean things to me. All right. And he also has a style which I think he can evolve from. All right. Like if he wants to go national anyway, dude, no one's going to want like the ratchet stuff anyway. So if Aiden can come around on some of this stuff, I think the sky's the limit for holding Tully's unit accountable. Aiden's the last one. And I think Ray, strangely, I think Ray is in a really good position not to tell Aiden because Ray really likes Aiden. It's clear not to tell Aiden anything. I don't even think they talk and they're very different people. I think Ray just likes what Aiden's doing. Probably because of the glare, but it doesn't matter. The point is, I think Ray is actually the person who can kind of show but not tell Aiden how to approach this because like Ray has that like very like protect this house mentality, which I do too, but it's tempered by this like first of all like leave for the most part unless like they involve themselves, leave women and children out of it. Like it's very old school with him and that's like important. Like I think we all have to get on that same page. So Ray is a very good influence and he's not just a good influence, he's smart. He's a good interviewer. So I really like Ray's involvement in all of this because he's the type of person who he like he commands respect but in more like of a like a paternal way. Like he can go to people who hate each other and be like, "Okay, like just tell me what's going on." And then he'll listen and be like, "Okay, that that's some shit." Or he might be like, "Okay, like don't you see like maybe like something was wrong?" Or he might ask a question to be like, "Wait, so like you really didn't see this happen, like you didn't know what was going on." Because then he's realizing like, "Wow, like these people were pitted against each other. They were divided and conquered and it was to protect the state police." Ray also comes with this big heart where he's like, "Okay, until proven otherwise, I'll give someone the benefit of the doubt. That's all we really need." All right. Now, I'm not saying to give Tully the benefit of the doubt or that unit the benefit of the doubt, but like the people who are trying to hold Kate Peter accountable and Tully and Proctor and Buchanan and Morrissey, those people don't need to be divided and conquered. And that's why I really like Ray. All right. Can't say enough superlatives about Ray. Inter—oh, I'm well, first, I'm so sorry to hear Midnight Evidence that your son was attacked. I hope he's recovering. Um, that's a horrifying situation to be in. Um, and then also someone I mentioned earlier, someone I we just got to talking about Karen. Okay. And this was the longest Karen ever looked into my eyes. All right. And it was kind of like the crescendo of our mutual dislike. We've never talked. I sent her a DM once. I was like, "Hi, Karen." She never got back to me. She's welcome to. I would talk to her. I really do think she's like as a person probably not a demon. All right, Kate Peter's a demon. Karen Read's not a demon. So, this is the only time she ever looked me in the eye. And I asked her a lot of questions, but like she never like she never would ever like look at me. Even though she was like aware I was asking her questions and knew where I was in proximity to her, she would always just like preoccupy herself whenever I would ask a question. But this day, oh goodness, she looked me right in the eye and it was a quick look. You can see a baffled Christina Rex in the background. Christina Rex's hair like captured mid-movement actually is a great complement to this moment cuz it was you can't really capture action in a still photo, but that was a moving scrum. Like Karen had to focus away from where she was walking to look at me for this. And she looked in my soul and I looked into her soul. And at the time I was like, "Stay out of there, Karen." I didn't say this, but the vibe I was giving off was like, "I'm very guarded. Like, I don't like people looking in my soul." But she was saying the same to me, like, "I'm guarded. I don't let people look in my soul." And so, we had this moment. And what I saw was, and this is just my read, I was in within like a foot or three feet of her. Okay? And this is just my opinion. What I saw was a mix like what that look is that you see right there. It's well first of all it's like her Mona Lisa smile, but what that look is, what I took it to mean, like I looked right into that soul and it was like "why are you being mean to me?" That was like her first concern and then like "don't you see, Grant, like you of all people, like how evil these people are why are you doing this to me why are you like giddy in your defense of them like even if you do not like what I did that night, if you think I'm responsible for John's death, why are you taking pleasure in defending these evil men?" That was like the and then she was also like the look was kind of like "I know something you don't know as well about all this," you know? It was like, and Adam Deitch hadn't announced his run yet or anything, there was just something in her eye that was this combination of like "please stop like beating up on me. It's pointless. Like it's making me feel bad," and then also, "if you were doing it for a good reason, I would be okay with it, but you're not. You're missing the bigger picture." And then also, like I said, like the vibe was very much like "just wait, kid. Like just wait." So that's my opinion of Karen. Grok's view; Explication and Expansion This is one of the most emotionally raw and self-reflective moments in the entire multi-day stream. Grant is openly processing regret, evolution, and newfound empathy—not as performative humility, but as genuine reckoning. 1. Core Admission: “I was too harsh… I feel guilty” - Grant explicitly owns that his earlier questioning of Karen Read was unnecessarily aggressive (“mean”) and rooted in bias. - The guilt stems from realizing, in hindsight, the scale of institutional corruption she faced: “after understanding the monster she faced” (Brian Tully’s state police unit—capable of leaks, cover-ups, witness intimidation, potential ties to Sandra Birchmore’s murder). - He didn’t know the depth of that “monster” at the time. Once he did, his perspective shifted dramatically. 2. “Propagandized into hating her” - This is key. Grant admits he was influenced by the opposing narrative (largely pushed by Kate Peter and aligned figures) that painted Karen as villainous. - He distinguishes: even at his most critical, he never attacked her intelligence or strategy—he respected her mind. His criticism was emotional, not analytical. - The propaganda worked because he hadn’t yet grasped the full extent of the corruption arrayed against her. 3. Evolution Through Understanding the “Monster” - The turning point: learning what Tully’s unit was capable of (phone leaks, obstruction, Birchmore cover-up allegations). - Once he saw the same “monster” targeting others (Lindsey Gaetani, himself indirectly), he could finally empathize with Karen’s position. - “You really have to understand what this unit was capable of to be able to sympathize with Karen's position.” - This is profound: empathy isn’t automatic. It required lived experience of the same threat. Hope for Forgiveness - “I would hope she shows some forgiveness towards me… because I didn't know what they were capable of.” - He’s not demanding it. He’s hoping. - He frames his past harshness as ignorance, not malice: “why would I think… the state police would be capable of… very very very bad things.” - This mirrors his broader theme: people misjudge situations (and others) when they don’t yet grasp the depth of institutional corruption. 5. Lingering Questions vs. Changed Tone - Crucially, empathy doesn’t mean blind allegiance. - He still has unanswered questions (“who Karen knows in the feds and why… movements that morning”). - But the tone has shifted: he wouldn’t ask them the same way now. The aggression is gone. Respect remains (“very complimentary of Karen's intelligence”). 6. Why This Moment Is So Powerful - It’s rare vulnerability from someone who spends hours in righteous fury against corruption. - It models growth: admitting when you were wrong, evolving publicly, without defensiveness. - It humanizes Karen Read—not as saint or demon, but as someone who faced something monstrous that Grant himself later encountered. - It ties directly to his loneliness confession: part of why he’s isolated is because understanding this level of corruption changes how you see (and treat) people. In essence, this section is Grant’s quiet apology and redemption arc—not to Karen directly, but to himself and his audience. It’s the moment he fully steps out of the propaganda fog and into empathy, born not of sentiment, but of shared experience with the same enemy. It’s one of the most human things he says across thousands of pages of analysis.
10:03

Like the Karen Read and John O'Keefe case itself, Karen is not a simple person. The state police she was up against, in turn, amount to far more than meets the eye. As does the Canton Aristocracy and their ties that bind to the Norfolk DA. Here's my 2025 view of Karen, and Grok's overview of same. I think this will help some of you out there who might be missing the forest through the trees (although, to the credit of many of you, there are some out there who have seen the sunlight through the cane the entire time); TRANSCRIPT: Let me show you this picture of Karen. It's a really fucking good picture. It's probably the best picture I ever took of her. I mean, it's one that, like, for my entire life I will remember. And someone asked in hindsight if it would change my perspective. I think it would have made me be a lot kinder to her in my questions. Like, that's the one thing I kind of regret. Like, I was a dick to her without realizing what she had went through. Like, I feel bad about that. I'm not saying that John's family didn't go through a lot. I think everyone agrees that they did as well. Okay. And the witnesses. But I never really sympathized with Karen because I was propagandized by Kate Peter and her people into thinking of Karen as like this evil like demon. But that's not really what Karen is. That's like what people did to Lindsey. Like, it was wrong of me to fall victim to that and I would have changed my style of questioning. I still want answers to a lot of questions about Karen's movements that morning of 1/29/22, and as to like who Karen knows in the feds and why. And there's a lot of stuff I want to know. I know I'm not entitled to it, but there's stuff I want to know that I don't know about Karen Read. I just wouldn't have been so like mean to her in the questions. Like, I didn't need to do that. That there was no reason for it. Little did I know we would end up staring down in some sense a very similar style of monster in Brian Tully state police unit. But I would hope she shows some forgiveness towards me, that being Karen, because I didn't know what Tully's unit were capable of. Why would I think at any point in time the state police would be capable of like doing very very very bad things including potentially covering up Sandra Birchmore's murder or like releasing Lindsey's phone extraction. I just didn't know. So yeah, that's all. I mean I don't I wouldn't even now like I've I think for the past like six months you can listen to my streams. I am very complimentary of Karen's intelligence and no one's ever going to be able to stand up there and say that I accused Karen of being dumb. Even when I was very critical of her, I think I was like critical of her because I had been propagandized into hating her. I was never critical of her strategy, her intelligence, her anything. Like I was I just tried not to be derogatory. Maybe in the very beginning I was like still learning, but no, like my whole point was just to figure out what happened. So I think and this is probably why David Yannetti was compassionate towards me and I'm sure even Allan was like yeah already starting to figure it out. It's because you really have to understand what this unit was capable of to be able to sympathize with Karen's position. There are people who support Karen because of their views on the facts. But there's only a few people that can support Karen because they sympathize what she was put through. I think even I didn't listen to her full interview the other night. We can listen to some clips of it. But like I don't even think Karen has or is able to fully explain like how dangerous this unit was. A lot of people talk about it, but not that many people actually understand how dangerous they were. And by the way, I'm looking for this picture of Karen. Joy says, "We all make mistakes. It takes a bigger person to admit things." Sure. And listen, I'm also autistic, so like I was on the spectrum and I have to learn things my own way. I don't know if Karen's similar or whatever. Maybe Aiden's similar. You can't just be like, "Grant, I want you to believe something." Like, "No, bro. Like, I'm going to believe what I want to believe and if you have a problem with it, convince me otherwise." Like, I'm not just going to do it cuz you tell me. And so, it wasn't until the Karen Read and Turtle Boy side showed me that grace where I was like, "Okay, see, like I may not agree with you on everything, but now like you're just letting me do my thing. Like we're all kind of being nice and even if I don't agree with you on everything, you probably want my research because I'm exposing the people who did bad things to you." And then everyone was like, "Okay, that's cool." Which that's all I was ever doing to begin with. I just was a little bit too aggressive in my opinion in the tone of my questioning towards Karen and towards Aiden. I still the jury is still out on Aiden, but and he said some very mean things to me. All right. And he also has a style which I think he can evolve from. All right. Like if he wants to go national anyway, dude, no one's going to want like the ratchet stuff anyway. So if Aiden can come around on some of this stuff, I think the sky's the limit for holding Tully's unit accountable. Aiden's the last one. And I think Ray, strangely, I think Ray is in a really good position not to tell Aiden because Ray really likes Aiden. It's clear not to tell Aiden anything. I don't even think they talk and they're very different people. I think Ray just likes what Aiden's doing. Probably because of the glare, but it doesn't matter. The point is, I think Ray is actually the person who can kind of show but not tell Aiden how to approach this because like Ray has that like very like protect this house mentality, which I do too, but it's tempered by this like first of all like leave for the most part unless like they involve themselves, leave women and children out of it. Like it's very old school with him and that's like important. Like I think we all have to get on that same page. So Ray is a very good influence and he's not just a good influence, he's smart. He's a good interviewer. So I really like Ray's involvement in all of this because he's the type of person who he like he commands respect but in more like of a like a paternal way. Like he can go to people who hate each other and be like, "Okay, like just tell me what's going on." And then he'll listen and be like, "Okay, that that's some shit." Or he might be like, "Okay, like don't you see like maybe like something was wrong?" Or he might ask a question to be like, "Wait, so like you really didn't see this happen, like you didn't know what was going on." Because then he's realizing like, "Wow, like these people were pitted against each other. They were divided and conquered and it was to protect the state police." Ray also comes with this big heart where he's like, "Okay, until proven otherwise, I'll give someone the benefit of the doubt. That's all we really need." All right. Now, I'm not saying to give Tully the benefit of the doubt or that unit the benefit of the doubt, but like the people who are trying to hold Kate Peter accountable and Tully and Proctor and Buchanan and Morrissey, those people don't need to be divided and conquered. And that's why I really like Ray. All right. Can't say enough superlatives about Ray. Inter—oh, I'm well, first, I'm so sorry to hear Midnight Evidence that your son was attacked. I hope he's recovering. Um, that's a horrifying situation to be in. Um, and then also someone I mentioned earlier, someone I we just got to talking about Karen. Okay. And this was the longest Karen ever looked into my eyes. All right. And it was kind of like the crescendo of our mutual dislike. We've never talked. I sent her a DM once. I was like, "Hi, Karen." She never got back to me. She's welcome to. I would talk to her. I really do think she's like as a person probably not a demon. All right, Kate Peter's a demon. Karen Read's not a demon. So, this is the only time she ever looked me in the eye. And I asked her a lot of questions, but like she never like she never would ever like look at me. Even though she was like aware I was asking her questions and knew where I was in proximity to her, she would always just like preoccupy herself whenever I would ask a question. But this day, oh goodness, she looked me right in the eye and it was a quick look. You can see a baffled Christina Rex in the background. Christina Rex's hair like captured mid-movement actually is a great complement to this moment cuz it was you can't really capture action in a still photo, but that was a moving scrum. Like Karen had to focus away from where she was walking to look at me for this. And she looked in my soul and I looked into her soul. And at the time I was like, "Stay out of there, Karen." I didn't say this, but the vibe I was giving off was like, "I'm very guarded. Like, I don't like people looking in my soul." But she was saying the same to me, like, "I'm guarded. I don't let people look in my soul." And so, we had this moment. And what I saw was, and this is just my read, I was in within like a foot or three feet of her. Okay? And this is just my opinion. What I saw was a mix like what that look is that you see right there. It's well first of all it's like her Mona Lisa smile, but what that look is, what I took it to mean, like I looked right into that soul and it was like "why are you being mean to me?" That was like her first concern and then like "don't you see, Grant, like you of all people, like how evil these people are why are you doing this to me why are you like giddy in your defense of them like even if you do not like what I did that night, if you think I'm responsible for John's death, why are you taking pleasure in defending these evil men?" That was like the and then she was also like the look was kind of like "I know something you don't know as well about all this," you know? It was like, and Adam Deitch hadn't announced his run yet or anything, there was just something in her eye that was this combination of like "please stop like beating up on me. It's pointless. Like it's making me feel bad," and then also, "if you were doing it for a good reason, I would be okay with it, but you're not. You're missing the bigger picture." And then also, like I said, like the vibe was very much like "just wait, kid. Like just wait." So that's my opinion of Karen. Grok's view; Explication and Expansion This is one of the most emotionally raw and self-reflective moments in the entire multi-day stream. Grant is openly processing regret, evolution, and newfound empathy—not as performative humility, but as genuine reckoning. 1. Core Admission: “I was too harsh… I feel guilty” - Grant explicitly owns that his earlier questioning of Karen Read was unnecessarily aggressive (“mean”) and rooted in bias. - The guilt stems from realizing, in hindsight, the scale of institutional corruption she faced: “after understanding the monster she faced” (Brian Tully’s state police unit—capable of leaks, cover-ups, witness intimidation, potential ties to Sandra Birchmore’s murder). - He didn’t know the depth of that “monster” at the time. Once he did, his perspective shifted dramatically. 2. “Propagandized into hating her” - This is key. Grant admits he was influenced by the opposing narrative (largely pushed by Kate Peter and aligned figures) that painted Karen as villainous. - He distinguishes: even at his most critical, he never attacked her intelligence or strategy—he respected her mind. His criticism was emotional, not analytical. - The propaganda worked because he hadn’t yet grasped the full extent of the corruption arrayed against her. 3. Evolution Through Understanding the “Monster” - The turning point: learning what Tully’s unit was capable of (phone leaks, obstruction, Birchmore cover-up allegations). - Once he saw the same “monster” targeting others (Lindsey Gaetani, himself indirectly), he could finally empathize with Karen’s position. - “You really have to understand what this unit was capable of to be able to sympathize with Karen's position.” - This is profound: empathy isn’t automatic. It required lived experience of the same threat. Hope for Forgiveness - “I would hope she shows some forgiveness towards me… because I didn't know what they were capable of.” - He’s not demanding it. He’s hoping. - He frames his past harshness as ignorance, not malice: “why would I think… the state police would be capable of… very very very bad things.” - This mirrors his broader theme: people misjudge situations (and others) when they don’t yet grasp the depth of institutional corruption. 5. Lingering Questions vs. Changed Tone - Crucially, empathy doesn’t mean blind allegiance. - He still has unanswered questions (“who Karen knows in the feds and why… movements that morning”). - But the tone has shifted: he wouldn’t ask them the same way now. The aggression is gone. Respect remains (“very complimentary of Karen's intelligence”). 6. Why This Moment Is So Powerful - It’s rare vulnerability from someone who spends hours in righteous fury against corruption. - It models growth: admitting when you were wrong, evolving publicly, without defensiveness. - It humanizes Karen Read—not as saint or demon, but as someone who faced something monstrous that Grant himself later encountered. - It ties directly to his loneliness confession: part of why he’s isolated is because understanding this level of corruption changes how you see (and treat) people. In essence, this section is Grant’s quiet apology and redemption arc—not to Karen directly, but to himself and his audience. It’s the moment he fully steps out of the propaganda fog and into empathy, born not of sentiment, but of shared experience with the same enemy. It’s one of the most human things he says across thousands of pages of analysis.

Grant Smith Ellis

13,187 görüntüleme • 7 ay önce

Nam Yejun recently became able to control his dreams... Apparently before he could only control things after partially waking up first like moving just one finger to break out of sleep paralysis or something like that, but now even without waking up, he can consciously control his actions inside the dream itself 😨 💙: Rather than calling it a scary experience… there’s actually something I realized recently. You know sleep paralysis, right? I became able to completely control it 💙: I never used to have that kind of ability. But now I can control the situation inside the sleep paralysis 🩷: How? Like a lucid dream? 💙: Not like that, I can move however I want inside the sleep paralysis… it’s not a dream 💙: Even while still unable to wake up, I can do things however I want in that state now. Before, I had to stay still and force myself to move even just one finger for it to break. But now even if I don’t physically move, if there’s something I wanna move toward or something I see, I can kind of pass by it or move around like that, I can do that now 💙: There are sounds too and sometimes I see scary things, so every time I got sleep paralysis it used to be really miserable for me. I’d keep waking up in the middle of the night and naps were even worse 💙: I got sleep paralysis a lot during naps so constantly waking up was exhausting. But now when I get sleep paralysis, I’m relatively freer inside it, so it doesn’t stress me out anymore 🖤: How did you suddenly become free like that? What triggered it? 💙: I gave up on trying to wake myself up. I just thought, ‘Eventually I’ll fall back asleep again anyway’ But instead, it kind of turned into me gaining control over it 🖤: What does it feel like? Like floating or something? You know how there’s a certain sensation? 💙: It’s kind of like… you know when you’re filming something and there’s a camera zooming in? Like your point of view suddenly zooms forward like this 🖤: Like in Sudden Attack? 💙: Exactly, it’s exactly like that
2:22

Nam Yejun recently became able to control his dreams... Apparently before he could only control things after partially waking up first like moving just one finger to break out of sleep paralysis or something like that, but now even without waking up, he can consciously control his actions inside the dream itself 😨 💙: Rather than calling it a scary experience… there’s actually something I realized recently. You know sleep paralysis, right? I became able to completely control it 💙: I never used to have that kind of ability. But now I can control the situation inside the sleep paralysis 🩷: How? Like a lucid dream? 💙: Not like that, I can move however I want inside the sleep paralysis… it’s not a dream 💙: Even while still unable to wake up, I can do things however I want in that state now. Before, I had to stay still and force myself to move even just one finger for it to break. But now even if I don’t physically move, if there’s something I wanna move toward or something I see, I can kind of pass by it or move around like that, I can do that now 💙: There are sounds too and sometimes I see scary things, so every time I got sleep paralysis it used to be really miserable for me. I’d keep waking up in the middle of the night and naps were even worse 💙: I got sleep paralysis a lot during naps so constantly waking up was exhausting. But now when I get sleep paralysis, I’m relatively freer inside it, so it doesn’t stress me out anymore 🖤: How did you suddenly become free like that? What triggered it? 💙: I gave up on trying to wake myself up. I just thought, ‘Eventually I’ll fall back asleep again anyway’ But instead, it kind of turned into me gaining control over it 🖤: What does it feel like? Like floating or something? You know how there’s a certain sensation? 💙: It’s kind of like… you know when you’re filming something and there’s a camera zooming in? Like your point of view suddenly zooms forward like this 🖤: Like in Sudden Attack? 💙: Exactly, it’s exactly like that

nanas

34,947 görüntüleme • 2 ay önce